The funny farm.

Friday has arrived, and not a moment too soon. Yesterday's events were so insane that I question the wisdom of posting them. On the other hand, this blog is all about the desperation of a housebound mommy of three very young boys. How much fun would it be if I did not describe the goings-on of day to day life around here?

Yesterday morning began with a power failure. When I looked at Mike's clock I assumed Jamie had unplugged it, but before long I figured out that we had no power. This was frustrating to me on so many levels. For one thing, my baby monitor was not working so I don't know how long Micah had been awake at that point. I was also upset because I was anxious to see whether my mentor had marked my latest assignment, and our internet was not accessible without the power. So, I got up and fed Micah. That is always the first order of business, unless he sleeps late, that is. The other two had been on the loose for a short time, since Mike had left for work.

Please understand that while I am feeding Micah, I have to resign myself to the fact that I am somewhat powerless to deal with the other two, so I tend to go into a voluntary and much welcome state of denial. Sort-of a "I'll deal with it later" kind of mentality. I know, this is not wise in my current circumstances, but sometimes I don't know how else to get my baby fed. If I had a straight jacket for each of them and a padded room, I might be better off, but so far I have nothing of the sort.

So, I finished feeding him and emerged from my room, carrying him. The first thing I noticed were dark brown, roundish-things all over the floor. My first thought was that they were bunny turds, but poor Oreo is living downstairs for the time-being, so I knew that was not it. Next thought...chocolate chips? I kicked one tentatively. It didn't roll like a chocolate chip. I kept walking to Micah's room. Ah. Raisins. Of course. I changed Micah and then carried him down the hall toward the kitchen and living room. Did I say raisins? I meant a whole bag of raisins. At first they were scattered like Hansel and Gretel's trail of bread crumbs in the forest, but soon they were distributed in piles, all over the carpet and also the kitchen floor. The open bag was sitting on the floor as well. I was upset, of course. Not surprised, but definitely upset. After all, raisins cost money and here they all were, mostly inedible.

When I rounded the corner toward the shoe area at the front door my heart nearly stopped. Suddenly the raisins did not seem like a big deal at all. The boys were sitting with a sugar bowl between them, eating white sugar out of it. Okay, that doesn't sound so bad, right? The problem was not that they were going to ruin their teeth or even their appetites. The problem was that they were using extremely sharp, serrated knives to dip in the sugar and they were eating off of them. I shouted some things that I shouldn't have said, but I could not stop myself. I did not spare them the description of the possibility of them cutting off their tongues. Normally I try not to tell them the worst case scenarios in case I traumatize them or give them nightmares. This time I kind of hoped to inspire the same amount of horror at the situation that I was feeling. Maybe then these types of incidents would cease to happen. Of course, Cody assured me that it was Jamie who had acquired the knives. He was right, and I knew it. There was a chair pushed to the counter by the knife blocks, and I felt like screaming. Is nothing sacred in this house??? Okay, I forgot to mention that Cody also had chocolate all over his face. That was from the chocolate chips that he stole out of a very high cupboard and ate in his bed, which was subsequently covered in chocolate smears. Lovely. I chose not to launder the sheets. I thought perhaps I should let him stew in his chocolatey blankets. In a way, I was almost jealous. Okay, maybe not. I would much rather eat chocolate than sleep in it. Either way, it was only about 8:30 in the morning and already I was at the end of my rope.

Jamie was enjoying a game consisting of opening the front door and running outside in his pajamas and bare feet. I know the weather is getting milder, but it is still below zero out there. I then specifically told both boys not to open the door anymore because we had no heat due to the power outage. Immediately Jamie opened the door and shot me a devious grin, then ran outside. I was livid. He is terribly cute, but I cannot describe him as innocent anymore. Not even close, really. He had many lengthy time outs in his crib yesterday and by lunch time I was a bear. Maybe I was a bear as soon as I saw the knives, I don't know. I was so angry I was tempted to toss all of our baking goods out the patio doors because I can't think of a way to stop the boys from invading them. I don't even know what to do about the knife blocks. I really think the only solution is to lock the kitchen chairs in my bedroom at all times except for meal times. Maybe that would help. And the high chair too, I guess. This morning Jamie had moved one into the bathroom while I was feeding Micah and he took two bottles of bubble stuff and emptied both of them on Micah's carpet. I also found a spray bottle of Mr. Clean on the floor. So, yes, I know that makes me a horrible mother. Honestly, I had that stuff so high in the bathroom I really didn't think it would ever be an issue. Obviously it will have to come out of that bathroom altogether. There were only a few drops left in that bottle, thankfully, but it still freaked me out.

Too Much Information Warning: Probably the highlight of my day (sarcasm here) was when I was in the middle of dealing with a gross toddler diaper. My regular readers know I use cloth diapers, so without giving too much detail I will just say I was in the bathroom using the diaper sprayer on this thing over the toilet, with the door closed and locked, when the power went out again. I yelled a very loud and very emphatic, "HEY!!!", thinking that the boys had shut off the light on me. Then I remembered that this bathroom has the switch on the inside of the room. I knew I was in trouble then. How do you spray a poopy diaper off in complete darkness? I was able to reach back and open the door to let in a small amount of light. At that point the choice was between leaving it soaking wet and half done, or trying to finish without the benefit of the light to help me aim everything into the toilet. All right, maybe I gave a little more detail than I should have. Suffice it to say, I continued the spraying, and even though the lights came on before I was finished, the damage was done. Ew. Perhaps one of my grossest cloth diapering moments. I went on muttering for a long time after that about how it is worth it, even though there are gross aspects of it. I still believe that, but those moments are dreaded nonetheless.

So, that was yesterday. Today was equally busy, but not as deadly. I still was ready to go off like an atomic bomb by 10 in the morning, but somehow I held it together. Perhaps that was only because the piano tuner was due to arrive between 10:30 and 11 a.m. He came, and with the patience of a saint he listened to Cody talk for two and a half hours while he tried to tune the piano. And tune it he did. It sounds and feels wonderful once again.

Now the boys are in bed, with the exception of Micah, who is happily playing on the floor in the living room. He cut his very first tooth yesterday. Today he woke up with a yucky cough, and still he is the very sweetest person in this house! He has not slept through the night for three nights now, but I knew there was a tooth on the way. Now there is sickness too, but hopefully it won't get too bad.

I have nothing more to report for now. I hope to consume stovetop popcorn and watch a cozy movie later on. I doubt the movie will happen, but if not, I will be engaging in the world of Super Mario on the Wii. It will probably make me more mad than entertained, but that's all part of the video gaming world if you have my personality type. I'm off for now.

Boys will be boys.

I've made it officially half way through this week. The mornings have been rough because Cody has started coming in our room between 6 and 6:30 a.m. and doing everything he can to irritate us and wake us up. Usually this results in me feeling outraged before I even sit up in the morning and does not make for a positive start to the day. He is good at waking everyone else up too. I have been very tired this week and have been battling migraines, but I am making it through.

Jamie is determined to test my sanity and push me to my very limits. From the moment he gets up in the morning to the moment he is put back in his crib to nap or at bedtime he is on one continual mission to get into everything imaginable. Twice this week I have caught him wearing Cody's ice skates in the house, with no guards on them. Where he found them, I do not know. Fortunately, he was crawling both times so the blades did not get the opportunity to cut the flooring up. I'm sure he will find another chance. He dumps bins of clothing that I have organized in the closets on every possible occasion (which usually amounts to more than once a day) and then finds uses for the bins such as standing on them to reach inside of cupboards that are off limits. He is something like a torpedo, and is for the most part unstoppable. He does this all with a level of skill that is probably unrivaled anywhere, and he manages to maintain such cuteness throughout that it is often hard to keep a straight face...when I'm not pulling my hair out.

Micah has decided that he can't stand to be left behind another minute, so he is also honing his skills. He has spent the last two days crawling up to things and then pulling up into a standing position. Then he finds his balance and lets go. He stands for about one second and then falls over backwards onto his bum, sometimes all the way onto his back. Today he used the laundry rack and pulled it over on top of himself. Oh joy. I was sitting right there, so I caught it before they both hit the ground. He scared himself, but not badly enough to stop his craziness.

Anyway, that's all the time I have today for updates. I am too tired to continue, and Micah is crying now anyway so I must go feed him. I will try to do at least one more post this week if I can. Seems like I'm getting more busy now instead of less. How did that happen?

Holey Sheet!

Wow. Today has been...interesting. This morning, I caught Cody with a sharp knife from the knife block, trying to break the seal on a giant bottle of chocolate syrup, you know, the kind for making chocolate milk. This was wrong for so many reasons. First there is the matter of the sharp knife. What the heck was he thinking? Cody is almost four, and I know that is young but he is VERY aware that he is not to touch sharp knives. He had to move a chair to the counter to access this one, and that alone made it a sneaky, deliberate move. Next, this bottle was in the cupboard, and was unopened because (you guessed it) we have another one the same in the fridge. Now our fridge door is at risk of falling off because it has about a hundred pounds of chocolate syrup on its shelf. Should I even mention the fact that it was breakfast time and we do not drink chocolate milk with breakfast? Then there is the fact that Cody, (yes, Cody), had already emptied the milk jug and there was none left, which means his intention was to indulge in pure, unadulterated chocolate syrup. Who needs chocolate milk when you can just drink chocolate? While I do appreciate the merits of this philosophy, it was not really working for me this morning.

In truth, I don't even remember what Jamie was doing at the time. I do remember that it was also not good. Funny that it has already disappeared from my memory. Oh wait, it has come back. He was on a chair by the cupboard where he had dumped the remainder of a container of sprinkles on the counter and was consuming them. My eyes widened slightly, but at least it had not been very full. I vaguely wondered how his face got so smeared with chocolate from a bunch of sprinkles. Then I saw the large bag of smarties. I confiscated them and listened to a very impassioned protest, but I did not back down. I briefly considered moving our entire dining room set into the basement until Cody pointed out that we would not be able to eat.

Shortly afterward, I caught Jamie helping himself to the dog food, though I did not determine whether he was in fact eating it, or whether he was selflessly offering it to the dog. Radar was appreciative either way, as he got to clean the mess up off the floor. Later, Cody pulled the play dough out of the fridge and gave half to Jamie and kept half for himself. Okay, I am learning to live with the evils of play dough. The problem is, Jamie will not keep it at the table. He takes it under the table and breaks it into little pieces until it is impossible to pick it all up. Wonderful. Did I mention that it is bright blue?

The kitchen floor is impossibly crumby, thanks mostly to the incredible amounts of mini-wheats that these boys have consumed in the last 48 hours. Those mini-wheats have also produced other undesirable side effects which I will mercifully refrain from describing in this blog.

Later, I called my Grandma because I have not talked to her in a couple of weeks and she is feeling under the weather. We were having a nice chat when Cody came in and announced to me that Jamie had ripped his (Cody's) sheets. Okay, I already knew that Jamie was tearing holes in the fitted sheet on Cody's bed. I saw them yesterday, and Cody had explained to me that Jamie was putting his fingers in the tiny holes and ripping them bigger. Later I even witnessed one such incident. Thanks Jamie. The biggest hole was about 1.5 square inches. Not good, but Cody didn't seem to care so I determined not to care either. This is an old sheet, solid white, and is only a spare, after all. Still, with little kids it is nice, and even necessary, to have extra sheets on hand. You know what I am talking about. So, when Cody announced the latest hole in the sheet, I didn't concern myself too much. Then he said that it was big. He brought the sheet out to me. A big hole in a bed sheet would be something I could put my fist through. This was big enough for me to crawl through. I groaned and apprised my Grandma of the situation. I elicited boatloads of sympathy. Then I saw Cody bunch up the sheet and carry it away. I told him to leave it, but he announced that he was throwing it in the garbage. I hollered for him to stop because I could still use it. Certainly not as a bed sheet, but most definitely for rags.

That was only a portion of my morning, but the holey sheet was most certainly the highlight of my morning. I'm hoping to avoid any more highlights for the rest of the day. I only have about 45 minutes left to endure before Mike returns home. Soon, Micah will be awake and wanting to eat, leaving the boys unattended for a good ten to twenty minutes once again.

If only there were an adequate way to describe in here how many interruptions I get in each post chasing boys or breaking up fights or moving furniture back where it belongs or cleaning up diapers...etc. Phew. So, that's all I will say for today. Tonight I will be spending time with a dear sister/friend and I look forward to it. Micah will accompany me, I think, but still it will be a night out. Oh my goodness, Mike is home! Bye for now!

Uh-oh...rough Tuesday.

Today is going very badly so far. Cody is fighting me on everything, and I am trying to administer time-outs while I nurse a baby and chase after a very busy two year old. The boys had a fun but long day yesterday, and sure enough, I am paying the price today. I knew it would be that way, but I chose to go ahead anyway. We had a fun time at my sister-in-law's house and the boys got haircuts while they were there. Micah had about two naps all day, about half an hour each. Wow. So not enough for a six month old. He is back in bed now this morning, thank goodness. That leaves me with only a third of the insanity to handle. I was in the middle of trying to keep Cody in a time out this morning when I saw the rocking chair moving in the living room from my limited vantage point. I left Cody for a minute and found Jamie on the Lazy-boy squeezing toothpaste onto a toothbrush and then eating it, like a little snack. I'm telling you, this is the busiest kid I have had yet. Maybe I just don't remember, but Cody was slightly tamer than Jamie at this stage. Far crazier as a baby though.

Wow. The grumpiness continues. Jamie is sitting on the floor beside me doing tantrums to attract my attention. Snarling, whining...oh my goodness. I can't wait to put these boys to bed today. I might make an early lunch to make that possible. How will I make it through this day?! I have to do a workout somehow, and Mike has a course tonight, so I will not have any help then. I vaguely remember him telling me that he has to go to town today for work, so now I wonder whether he intends to bother coming home in between or not. Oh wow, I sure hope so. Even just an hour of a break would make a big difference in my night. I am just as tired as these boys, and though I am not as grumpy yet, I may be by the time this day is over. I'd like to nap right now. I can see that Jamie would too, but I don't dare put him down early because it will make the rest of the day so much worse. I guess I better go. Hopefully we make it through this day relatively unscathed.

A brief post...

I am having some issues with my eyes these days, hence the lack of posts in here. Even now my eyes are tired and a bit blurry. In truth, I would like to go to bed, but I can't do that until Micah is ready and unfortunately, we are way off with our timing this evening.

Mike is watching the hockey game between Canada and the U.S. and I can hardly stand to watch. I don't like the tension, plus it is hard on my eyes right now. Of course, so is this laptop, but whatever. I have to do something to entertain myself, and my other option is reading, which is nearly as bad.

My mom came out on Thursday and stayed until yesterday late morning. It was nice to have her here. We did a little baking, though I must say the recipe that we tried did NOT turn out well. We did something wrong, though I'm not sure what. Either way, it was fun to have her, and the boys enjoyed it too. She even went tobogganing with Cody, which was a huge thrill for him.

I did have fun looking at horses the night of my last post. I saw some real beauties, but not sure whether I'll be going for any of them. There were two in particular that caught my eye, but one was the most expensive one that she showed me (it was still in my price range but is only a two year old, not a trained horse) and the other one was only turning one this spring. The yearling filly was really pretty and is going to be big and beautiful, but if we go that route, we will not be riding her until late summer of 2011. Not sure whether to buy a horse or two that are currently not ridable, or whether to wait for a fully trained one to come along. There are not many horses for sale right now in my area. I don't even know whether we will get one for sure or not. I hope we will though. I am really excited about it.

Sheesh. I don't like hockey. I am getting mad. I get too emotionally involved. I just wanted to post briefly in here because it has been so long. Tomorrow we are off to get the boys haircuts because they are shaggy like you wouldn't believe right now! My eyes are done. Goodnight.

Busy, but good day so far.

I am doing fairly well today. It is just after 1:30 in the afternoon, and I have two boys in bed. Cody is playing nicely by himself in the living room and I am sort of watching the olympics. I say sort-of because they are currently covering curling. I have never been able to tolerate watching curling on TV, but somehow I have watched a bit today. After all, this is the Canadian men playing and of course I want them to win.

By some miracle, I managed to get my workout done before 10:30 a.m. today. It didn't go that well because Cody and Jamie were both up and they fought and annoyed me the whole time. At the end, I was supposed to do tricep pushups, which are NOT my forte. My goal was to complete one. Yes, one. I got all the way down and Jamie, yes, my two-year-old, shoved my head down to the floor and I couldn't get up. If that is not pathetic, I don't know what is. Maybe the fact that it made me cry. I don't know. I was discouraged. In all honesty, I am not yet at the point where I enjoy working out, but I do expect that it should be MY time, and that was taken away from me today. I did not feel elated, rejuvenated or even relieved when I was done. I felt more like someone with severe PMS (which I don't have, by the way), who was more tense and stressed out than before the workout. But, I got it done, and for now that is victory enough for me.

This afternoon I am going to look at some horses with one of my sisters-in-law. It should be fun. I hope it is fun. I am leaving all of my boys behind, so maybe that will be a good break for me. On the other hand, she is bringing all three of her kids along, but I will not have to worry about them so that should not add any stress for me. I just want to be able to focus on the horses and take some pictures. I would find that very difficult with all of my kids in tow. No wait, I would find that impossible. For now, I am fairly relaxed because I got the stuff done that I needed done for the day.

Tomorrow will be another challenge. I have to take Micah for his needles at noon, which means leaving the house before 11 a.m. to drop the boys off at my sister-in-law's and make the drive in to town to the doctor. That means my whole morning will be rushed and busy, so there will be no time for working out. Somehow I have to get it done in the afternoon, once I get home from town with all of my boys. I am trying so hard not to miss any workouts, and so far I have not. My mom is coming out on Thursday though, I think, and that might make it tough on Friday. I might be able to get it done on Thursday morning before she arrives, but Friday I may have to do it while she is here. No big deal, I guess, but I find it very embarrassing to work out in front of people.

Wow. Curling takes a ridiculously long time. The weird part is, apparently they just won, but the score is now lower than it was before. Oh wait...maybe it isn't. I don't understand this game. I am hard-pressed to call it a sport. Sorry, to any of you who curl. I am the first to admit, I simply do not understand how it works. I'm not saying it looks easy. It does not. But it does not look very exciting to me either. Haha. Way to go Canada.

I better go. I have some laundry to fold and I only have an hour left to get ready to go out. I have do a few more things before then. I'm off for now!

Getting ready to start a new week.

I see I have not posted in here for quite some time. Last week was a bit crazy, full of workouts and a big trip. I spent all of Friday running around trying to pack, feed kids, clean house, do laundry and work out. It was a crazy day, but by some miracle we made it out pretty much on time. The drive was a bit treacherous for the middle half, but we made it somehow. Not without incident in the van, but I probably should not describe it in here. Let's just say it involved a very smelly mess and a very cold, half-naked boy in the open van at a yucky gas station part way there. Yikes. It was not pretty. At any rate, we survived it and we made it back the next day on time to get the boys to bed fairly close to their bed times. Even still, there is a lot of grouchiness in the air, and I'm not looking forward to tomorrow when Mike returns to work.

Even now, in the evening, I have so many interruptions that I can't seem to get much down in this blog. Cody has had insomnia tonight for some reason, but I think he has finally fallen asleep. Mike and I are just watching the olympics. I kind of wish I were there. Mild weather, exciting action...sounds like fun. I'm going to have to sign off here. Before I do, for the record, I did not miss a single workout last week and yesterday I started a new week. Today was my day off, but tomorrow I am back in the swing of things. No tangible progress to report yet, other than the fact that I have been able to do my workout every day, despite migraines at the beginning of last week. I'm going to sign off. Goodnight.