Thursday, December 31, 2009

Happy New Year.

Hi again. Less than four hours remain in 2009, and I am ready to see the year pass. I'm not saying it has not been a good one, but for some reason I am anticipating 2010 to be a significant one. I don't normally give too much thought to whether a new year will be spectacular or ordinary, or even plain bad, but this year I have an interesting feeling. Sort of a barely discernible humming inside that lifts my hopes ever so slightly. I have a lot on my mind this past couple of weeks, and I am hoping to change a few things this next year. I'm not making any resolutions to speak of. I am not deluded enough to think that will do anything for me. I just think things will be different. Haha. Maybe I won't have a baby this year. That could be the change I am anticipating.

Anyway, I am feeling slightly better today, though I had to go into town to get my eyes looked at because they are pretty bad again. I am on drops again and will need to see the specialist next week. Oh joy. I'm sure I'll have something to report about that when the time comes. Everyone else around here seems to be feeling fairly well, so that is a blessing. I have been very discouraged with the number of health issues that have arisen over the Christmas holidays, so I am worn out and desperately hoping for a reprieve. I have still barely eaten today, but I am not nauseated and I do not have a headache...both welcome changes. Tomorrow is Mike's birthday, so here's hoping I will feel even better by then.

Today, Jamie turned two. It is hard to believe. My little guy is already two. We didn't get much of a party in for him seeing I had to fly in to see the optometrist and we didn't want to invite anyone over anyway, just in case we spread our germs around. He enjoyed cake and ice cream anyway, and opened a couple of presents. Hopefully he won't be scarred for life having been somewhat ripped off of his second birthday.

So, I am finding my eyes a bit tired looking at the screen right now, so I will sign off here for the year. Here's wishing you all a Happy New Year, and I hope we will all flourish on our journeys through 2010!

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Still sick.

I thought I better check in, seeing it has been three days since my last post. Sadly, I am still ill, though I have not done any more barfing since Boxing Day. Every time I see the Christmas tree I just want to take it down. Right now, our house is cluttered with new toys and baskets of laundry that I have been trying to catch up on. It is messy, but I am weak from not eating for most of the last five days and I have barely done any housework at all.

Tomorrow is Jamie's second birthday, and we have no plans for him whatsoever. I feel bad, but how can I invite people over for a birthday party when our house could be crawling with germs? Besides that, it is too late to plan a party for him now, so it won't be happening. Mike might be making a cake tonight, but we'll see. I suppose we may have a small birthday celebration with just our little family. The day after that is Mike's birthday. (I won't say which one.) Last year we had a big party for his birthday, but we won't be doing anything like that this year. At the rate I'm going, I may spend that day in bed.

I ate a little bit of supper tonight, and I don't feel as badly nauseated, so maybe that's a good sign. I have no idea what to expect this time around. On the positive sign, everyone else seems to be doing well. I'm not sure I'd say they are all completely back to normal, but certainly feeling mostly well. I am thankful for that.

Phew. This IS an exciting post, isn't it? I have more on my mind, but I think it might be best to leave it out of here for now. This may be my last post this year. Weird. Just in case, Happy New Year to everyone. I think 2010 is kind of a cool number. Hopefully it will be a good year. Maybe it will be the year of the horse! Bye for now.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

What goes down, must come up.

This Christmas keeps getting merrier and merrier. I have the stomach flu. Actually, we all do, except for possibly Micah. It's hard to tell with him because he always pukes. He seems happy, so that's good. On Christmas night, Cody barfed in his bed. Mike and I were up doing laundry and helping him out at 1:30 a.m. This has been the one thing I have dreaded with fear and trembling about being a parent. I know, it seems crazy, but as I have mentioned previously, I have a terrible fear of barfing. By 8:30 last night, I had broken my nearly six-year streak of not barfing. Just one more week would have put me at the six year mark. I have been terribly sick, but I am better today in that I am able to sit up, and to a small degree, walk around. Sadly, Mike got it this morning, so it has been very difficult to look after the boys. So far, no one has had it as bad as I did, which is good. More than once last night I slept on the bathroom floor because I could not stand up long enough to wash my hands and stumble back to bed. Mike had to give Micah a bottle because I could not feed him. This morning I was able to feed him laying in my bed. I am in the living room now, and just had a small amount of ginger ale, in hopes to quell my hunger pains. I have not eaten in two days other than a small portion of soup and (oops) a small portion of venatarta. Okay, so that was not the most brilliant move. Now I am terribly hungry but way too scared to eat. I'd rather experiment in the morning than now, because I do NOT want to be up in the night tonight.

Then there's Jamie. He barfed last night. Three times I heard him start crying and barfing and three times Mike had to run to his aid, from the living room where he wisely made his bed last night. I was unable to so much as sit up, so I could not help. Poor little Jamie was traumatized, I think. He has been fine all day, but I am scared to feed him too. He has barely eaten today too, but that has been my decision. I do not want him having a night like last night again. Especially now that Mike and I are both battling this. I guess we'll see what happens.

So, this has been a real downer of a Christmas for me. Admittedly, it could be worse. I know more than one person who have lost loved ones around this time of year, and that is infinitely worse than the stomach flu. However, for me this has been the most depressing and torturous Christmas ever. I just want to take my tree down because I don't want to look at it and remember how we missed Christmas this year. Now we just have to make it through this evening and get the boys to bed. Then there will only be Micah to take care of. Hopefully between the two of us we can handle that.

And speaking of Micah, he is now awake, so I will probably have to go get him. I may be back tomorrow, depending on whether things have gotten better or worse. Oh, and on a brief side note, Micah is now officially five months old, as of today. Bye for now.

Friday, December 25, 2009

Merry Christmas.

Phew. I have not posted in a long time. It has been a difficult week and I have not been well at all. Since Saturday I have been quite under the weather, and was improving some early in the week, but on Wednesday I started to go downhill again. Then yesterday I woke up and looked out the living room window at all the snow and I had stabbing pain in my left eye. Every time I looked into the brightness outside (it was cloudy out) it hurt significantly, and sure enough that eye is red again. have been extremely discouraged about the never-ending saga with my eyes, and a few other health issues sprinkled in there now and again to spice things up. I felt like giving up. I have taken Advil first thing in the morning every day for the last week.

This morning I woke up at 5 a.m. to a hungry baby, and at 5:15 a.m. Cody was up for the day. He attempted to wake Jamie, but Mike intervened very quickly and we brought him to our bed. Mike left him there with me and went to sleep on the couch. He was the lucky one. Cody talked for about an hour about how he did not want to be in our room. Then he left to use the bathroom and returned, asking me to please pray for his diarrhea. Oh boy. I must have drifted off some time close to 7 a.m., but the next thing I heard was a splattering sound in the hallway. I knew right away he had thrown up. Fear hit me right away, because as I have mentioned previously, I am terrified of barfing, or witnessing barfing, or smelling it, or cleaning it up...need I go on?? Somehow, in my mothering experiences, I have managed to avoid barf for three and a half years. Let me rephrase. I have dealt with more than my share of spit-up type barf, and while gross it is nowhere near the level of disgusting as regular barf. I don't like it, but it does not phase me. I called Mike for help and ushered Cody to the bathroom where he promptly finished what he started. Thankfully, it just looked like water so I was not grossed out. The fear did not leave though, as I couldn't help but wonder whether we would all be barfing before the holidays were over.

Without getting into any further details, I will say that there has not been any more barf, but his stomach is definitely still not right. He is not really eating either. That combined with my splitting headache, Mike's stomach ache and our exhaustion, has made it final. We are not going to my family's Christmas celebration today. That makes two years in a row that my side of the family has missed Christmas because of illness. Truly, it is depressing. I am very sad, but there is no point going when we all feel kind of crappy and when we might spread it to others, although my nephew also threw up this week, so I don't know.

No turkey dinner for us tonight. I will likely hit the sack soon for a nap. Hopefully that will make my head feel better. I am holding my breath and hoping that none of the rest of us will get this. I guess we'll see what happens. On the bright side, Cody is acting completely normal and is loving his new toys. he has been playing all day and does not really seem sick except that he won't really eat. I don't even mind the idea of having some fun family time at home, except that I don't feel like I can participate because of my headache. Maybe I'll try to have a nap and then we can play some Wii together or something.

I also must remember that the true meaning of Christmas is that we are celebrating the birth of Jesus. I know that historically speaking he was not actually born in December. I've heard it was more likely March, but no matter. This is when we celebrate his birthday, regardless. I was thinking of Mary the other day, and really pondering how she must have felt having to give birth in some stable, or stable like area, far away from her home. She was pretty young too, from what I've heard. I think the consensus is that she was in her early teens. Wow. I can't imagine. Now that I have been through child birth I have to say it is bad enough being in a vehicle on the highway when you're in labour. It must have really been horrible riding on a donkey. Okay, I know there is nothing to indicate that she was necessarily in labour on the donkey. I was just imagining what it would have been like. Not my cup of tea, I'll tell you that much.

Anyway, this is disjointed and not all that uplifting, so I am going to sign off here. Maybe Mike can help me make the bed so I can go sleep on it. I washed the sheets this morning in case of germs. Hopefully I will have a good report tomorrow. Merry Christmas, everyone.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Under the Weather

I'm not doing so great today. I took the last of my eye drops this morning and now I am on antibiotics for something else. I feel lousy, and just want to go to bed, but Mike needs me to be in charge of the boys because he has his final assignment due tomorrow and he still has quite a bit of work left to do on it. I am freezing cold, which is unusual for me, and I am discouraged. On the up side, it was a beautiful day today and I actually left the house. I had to, to go into town to a walk-in clinic.

I don't have much else to say today. Here's hoping I improve by the end of the day (though so far I am just getting worse) so I can finish shopping and baking on Monday. I will be doing venatarta. I know, I spelled it wrong, but that's just how I picture it spelled. The internet can't seem to agree on the correct spelling anyway, so I'll spell it my own way. You probably have never heard of it. It's a family tradition. It is Icelandic, even though we are not. It is a lot of work to make but it is worth the effort. That is on the agenda for early next week. I have one stocking stuffer left to buy and part of one gift and then we're done. I just can't wait to wrap the final gift so I can relax.

I know this has been a dull entry, but I must end it here. I just feel too gross to be doing this today.

Friday, December 18, 2009

I'm back again.

Phew. Long week. Had a bit of a break from this blog, but not intentionally. On Wednesday we went into town, but for the life of me I can't remember why. Oh yes, a banking appointment. At any rate, the boys all came with us and we did not get home until about 8 p.m. Ever since then, things have been unpleasant around here. Poor Cody. I think he just doesn't do well with late nights. Yeah, I know. That probably doesn't sound that late. My boys go to bed at 7 p.m. every night. If they stay up later, they still get up at the same time every morning, so late nights do not make for positive days afterwards. Yesterday was terrible. Right after I told my sister how level and rational I have been recently I turned into some kind of psycho mom, yelling and acting like a crazy person. The day was a total write-off. I had to invoke the cone of silence for a full half hour over lunch time. It seemed to confuse Cody. It probably confused all of my boys, but it seemed to snap Cody out of his terrible state.

Other than battling with kids all day every day, my computer cord broke so I could not get on here to update anything. I now have a brand new cord, so I'm back online. Amazing how lost I felt without my laptop. My battery had about 5 minutes left on it so I had to avoid it altogether.

Today, Mike finished work just before lunch time and he is now on holidays. Woo hoo!! He is still doing homework for the course he is in, but he'll be done that by the end of the weekend and then I will officially have back-up for a while. Good thing too, as I am not feeling so hot. I am almost 100% done my Christmas shopping. I think we just have one item left to pick up, and I do not look forward to doing so. I really do not enjoy shopping at the best of times, but in December it is about the last thing I want to do. I might see if Mike will do it. He doesn't seem to mind the crowds.

Anyway, super tired here and Micah is getting a bit impatient on the floor, so I will have to end this here. I have laundry to check anyway. I will probably post more often now that I have my laptop back!!!

Micah just wrapped himself up in a blanket on the floor. All I see are his legs sticking straight up. Silly baby. Goodnight.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Uh oh...yucky Monday?

Monday morning dawned early, but not bright for me this morning. Micah awoke at 5 a.m. and I got up to feed him. As I was almost done, I noticed a pain in my stomach, and it gave me an uneasy feeling. I wondered whether it would dissipate without any trouble, or whether I was going to be down and out with the stomach flu today. When I carried Micah back to his room to put him back to bed, I felt somewhat barfy. Oh great. For any of you who don't know me, I have barf issues. More specifically, I am terrified of throwing up. The last time I threw up was in January of 2004. Prior to that, I had not barfed in twelve years. That's right. Twelve years. So now, it has been almost six since my last incident, and it is my ever-present goal to beat my last record. Even when I have been pregnant, I have never thrown up, a fact for which I am eternally grateful. (I felt like it, but never did.)

So this morning I was faced with one of my biggest fears. I returned to my bed to attempt to ignore it, but it only got worse. I decided to loiter in the bathroom for a while, but that did not help either. So, I returned to bed once again and lay there in pain. I wondered how I would deal with my three crazies all day when I did not even want to move at all. Mike got them up and I stayed in bed, even after he left. They came in and had several fights on the bed which involved pushing, hitting, screaming...etc. It was so peaceful and enjoyable. Just the way you want to spend your day when you may have the stomach flu.

The good news is, I feel okay right now. I do feel hints of that same pain intermittently, but it is not constant, so I am not bedridden. I have mostly ignored my older boys today, and they have been pretty good. I have spent the morning in my room where I folded and put away two large baskets of laundry and made my bed, all while watching Micah bounce happily in the Jolly Jumper in my doorway. Once he started looking a little limp I took him out and put him to bed. He is still sleeping. I should probably prepare some kind of lunch for the boys while Micah is not needing me. Not sure what to give them because they both had sandwiches for breakfast. I'm not very imaginative with meal preparation.

Hm. I just heard Cody tell Jamie that Playdoh is not a good snack, and to just ask Mommy. I wonder what's going on out there. Should I check? Probably. Sigh. Still hearing big brother tell little brother "Don't eat it, kay Jamie? Don't put it in your mou--NO! Because you'll get sick from it, and I don't want you to get sick." I think he just confiscated it and put it away. He told Jamie that once he is bigger he can have it. He's quite the little Mr. Mom. I better go. Hopefully Monday remains uneventful and I don't wreck my streak of non-barfing.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Freaky Friday!

Today was an eventful day. Where to start? The morning went fairly well for the first couple of hours. I think it was just before lunch sometime when Cody announced that he had to go to the bathroom and ran to do just that. I didn't pay a whole bunch of attention because I was on the phone with my sister, but I knew he would be fine because he always goes on his own now. My attention was grabbed when I heard him shout, "Mom, there's something wrong with the toilet!" Uh oh. Those are words that should never be ignored. They also have the power to bring a shiver of dread down one's spine. I did not hang up the phone, but did manage to plunge the toilet while I continued chatting. I can't begin to say how relieved I was that it did not overflow when I gave it the first test flush. The water rose higher and higher, as did my blood pressure, I'm sure. But then it stopped and I was able to get everything fixed up.

Next I went to the kitchen and I don't really know what I was doing in there. The boys were coloring, and I was no longer on the phone, so I was likely doing dishes or some other cleaning. That's when my Angel Care monitor gave a loud beep. For anyone who does not know what the Angel Care monitor is, or does, it is not like a typical baby monitor. It has a unit that sits in the baby's room, which is typical, but it also has a special hard plastic sensor pad that goes underneath the mattress and senses motion. It is so sensitive that it detects the baby's breathing, so it is designed to alert the parents if the baby stops breathing for longer than 20 seconds. In truth, our alarm goes off on a daily basis because every time we pick Micah up out of the crib we forget to shut the darn thing off. It is kind of amusing, actually, and usually we are at the opposite end of the house when it gives its initial loud beep, followed a few seconds later by a very loud alarm from the parents' unit and also in the baby's room. The monitor also does the same warning beep when its batteries are running low, at which point you put it back on the charger for a few hours. Today, it gave the warning beep. My initial thought was that perhaps the battery needed charging, but I thought that was odd because I had just brought it off the charger. I thought maybe the charger was not working properly, but I peeked at the screen (yes, this monitor has a screen) and the battery symbol looked okay. Things were quiet for about five minutes after that, so I went on with whatever I was doing and ignored it. Then it gave another beep. Okay, the alarm also goes if the temperature in the room goes out of range, with a warning beep, and same if the monitor is out of range. I said out loud, "Why in the world does the monitor keep beeping?" and I walked over to look at it more closely. That's when the full alarm went off. I went flying into Micah's room and he was sleeping on his tummy with his face against the mattress. He had not so much as stirred despite the obnoxious sound coming from the monitor right beside his crib. I yelled, "Micah?" and picked him up quickly. His eyes opened but he was really limp and out of it. I was really freaked out. He was very tired, but seemed okay. I took him and fed him and he went right back to sleep. So I put him back in his crib.

Since then I have felt weird about the whole thing. The first tendency is to think the monitor just spazzed out, but the thing is, it was designed to warn if there was no motion for longer than 20 seconds. I know he was sleeping deeply, but the sensor is SO sensitive that it knows the difference between a sleeping baby in the crib and no baby at all in the crib. My thought is that he really did stop breathing for 20 seconds, because I think that happens to everyone now and again if I understand correctly. Or maybe not everyone, but lots of people. The scary thing is, had I not been using that type of alarm, would he have spontaneously started breathing again, or did my picking him up startle him into breathing? Either way, I am terribly thankful to be using this monitor. It is actually my sister-in-law's but she is letting us use it. I can't tell you what a load it takes off my mind, and Mike's too, knowing that it will send up a huge alarm if there is a problem. That was the worst part of my day. I'm so thankful my sweet baby is okay.

The next event occurred at lunch time. I took a box of crackers out of the pantry with the intention of having a few crackers and cheese for lunch while the boys ate. When I say "a few", I do mean it. This box of crackers had been mostly dumped on the floor before I even had a chance to have any, so I figured I could just finish the final few that were in the box. Unfortunately for me, I had left the box out on the counter when I ran to get Micah during the monitor incident. After that I had fed him, so I forgot about the crackers until I came back to eat them. Cody was in his room with the bag, which was almost 100% empty. Great. It wasn't until about 15 minutes later that Cody announced to me that Oreo was eating crackers. Oh boy. Sure enough, I peered down into Oreo's cage and he was happily consuming the Wheat Thins that the boys had so generously shared with him. (Oreo is a rabbit, for anyone who is unaware.) I took a deep breath and explained to Cody that rabbits don't eat people food and he is never to do that again. He agreed, but was so amused by the incident that I don't put much confidence in his ability to refrain the next time the temptation arises.

The afternoon was an event in cookie-icing. Yes, Cody and I iced half the cookies. From start to finish it took close to two hours. There were a lot of interruptions. We did green icing and pink icing. Tonight I intend to enlist Mike's help to do the other half in blue and yellow. Then we'll finally be done with the cookies. Well, not with the eating of the cookies! That part will be the best part!!!

So, that is the day I had today. The boys were fairly well-behaved, thankfully, and were it not for the monitor alarm going off it would have been a pretty good day all around. Now I need to join the rest of my family in the kitchen. I'm off for now!

Oh, and I also wanted to mention that there is a contest I found out about to win some cloth diapers. Haha. I had to enter, of course. They are from a store called Snugs Boutique. They have a few different diapers I'd be interested in trying out, and they are very inexpensive. These particular ones are pocket diapers. Here is the link to their site.

I can't comment on their blog for some reason, so it was probably pointless to mention this on here. I'll see if I can get it to work later. Bye for now. Again.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Domestic Diva

It is nearly midnight and I type this in Michael Jackson fashion, with one gloved hand. My eczema has flared up again recently and today I handled a lot of flour, so my hands got really dry and cracked. I had to put vaseline on one of them so now I'm wearing a glove. I look a bit ridiculous, but there is nobody here to see me, so who cares?

I had a busy day today, and I must say I was impressively domestic. Okay, maybe it wasn't that impressive, but true to my word, I did make a batch of sugar cookie dough last night and this afternoon I got up the nerve to bake the cookies. Sounds like no big deal but trust me, this is not a recipe for the faint of heart. All I did today for this batch was to roll the dough, cut the cookies, place them on pans and bake them, but it took over three hours. I haven't even iced them yet because it turns out we don't have the right sprinkles at home so we will have to buy some. Cody "helped", which was part of the reason it took a while, but these cookies are very time-consuming. I made 131 cookies. Crazy, eh? For me it is crazy. It will be worth it though, because these are the best cookies ever. Trust me. I might even post a picture of them once I get them iced and sprinkled.

Then this evening I got up the nerve to try a sewing project. Mike and I decided to try a gDiapers starter kit for Jamie. For anyone who doesn't know what gDiapers are, check them out at They are super cute, but they are very expensive if you go the disposable route. So, I made an insert to try out tonight. It is pink, which is odd seeing I don't have any girls, but that was all the fabric I had available, so that's how it's going to be. So be it. It is inside the diaper anyway where no one can see it. I will probably do a post some time about the gDiapers and how they are working for us. Here is the link to the site I used to make the insert, in case anyone else is interested in trying it. I hope that works. I am not good at posting links.

Sick. I was hoping to post this tonight but I see it is one minute after midnight, so it will show as Friday morning. Maybe not, depending on what time zone this is based in. Okay, I better sign off for now. Very tired and not too brilliant to be up still. Mike is out playing hockey, so I'm holding down the fort. All three boys are sleeping, thankfully. Hopefully Micah will sleep through the night tonight. He often does, but not always. He is my most unpredictable child so far. Anyway, I'm off to bed. Goodnight.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Hoping for a quiet Tuesday.

Here is attempt number one at blogging today. Micah is happily playing in his play pen. Jamie is wandering around throwing a ball and Cody has been sent to bed. They had a late night last night and the night before, which has been very stressful for me because I am very uptight about things like that. However, this is the reason why. Cody is a bag today, even though he slept in until 7:30 this morning. Yes, that is a MAJOR sleep-in for him. I can only imagine how the rest of the day will go. I hope it is better than the first couple of hours. I am not mad at Cody. I actually feel sorry for him. He doesn't understand that the reason he is having a hard time making good choices today is because he is extremely overtired. Micah didn't have the greatest night last night either, though I suppose it was not bad compared to most babies his age. He ate at 10:30 p.m. and then woke up already at 12:30 a.m. to eat. I was discouraged that he didn't even last three hours. However, after that he did not wake up again until 7:30 a.m. Unfortunately, I can't say the same for myself. I was having nightmares and actually woke up yelling some time in the night. Where did that come from?!

I just looked at Jamie who dangled a blue Christmas tree ball from his fingers and then winged it into the air. It went in a graceful arc over his head and landed on the couch behind him. He has just gone over to the tree to fetch another blue ball. He is holding two now. They look like giant earrings. Jamie is obsessed with any type of ball. A few days ago I emerged from my room first thing in the morning and he was standing in the kitchen holding a large onion. He loudly proclaimed, "Ball!" and then proceeded to spike it on the floor like a triumphant football player. I couldn't help but smile, but I was also thankful it hadn't been an apple or it surely would have bruised. It turns out onions bruise too. Who knew? A few people pointed out to me that it was a good thing it hadn't been an egg. I never even thought of an egg. Neither of my boys have broken an egg yet. Cody cracks them for me when I am baking, but has never broken one so far.

Speaking of baking, I have a strong urge to do Christmas baking now that the snow has come in full force and our Christmas tree is up. (Yes, we put it up on Saturday with the boys.) I have not been able to yet because we have been out and because I want the kitchen more organized first. I did manage to make a brownie a few nights ago and it is in the freezer tempting me. Just wait til I make the sugar cookies. I'm sure there will be a post about it because it is a lot of work. It usually takes me three or four hours, and that's on the second day. The first day is making the dough, which is actually quite easy. I might do that tonight, depending on how everyone does here.

Anyway, I'm sure I'm missing a thousand good stories of Jamie's antics, but I must sign off for now. I will try to be more faithful to post in here this week!

Monday, December 7, 2009

I'm behind!

Wow, I am really slacking off here. I have not done a post in here for quite some time. In truth, I have been exhausted and very busy. I have barely had a chance to check my emails on a daily basis, so my blog went by the wayside. This will be short too because I am in bed and just waiting for Mike to finish whatever he is trying to accomplish on his computer. Oh. Nevermind. He's here now, so this post will be done. I will try to do one tomorrow. I have lots of good material courtesy of Jamie.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Morning snacks anyone?

A few days ago I decided to leave a muffin out for Cody on the table overnight so that when he awoke he would not feel the need to raid the pantry. I told him my plan, and he made sure I wrapped it so it wouldn't get "old". He quickly embraced the concept. In fact, he approved to such an extent that yesterday he gave me a lecture for not leaving any food out for him. Later, he told Mike that he had raided the pantry because I had not left him anything at the table. So, last night we diligently made a peanut butter and jam sandwich on fresh bread, cut it, placed it on a plate, covered it with plastic wrap and left it at his spot at the table. I then put his sippy cup in the fridge full of water. (Yes, he still uses sippy cups in situations where I am concerned about spillage.)

When he gingerly opened our bedroom door at 6:45 this morning, I whispered his name loudly so I could tell him about the snack we had prepared for him. I was already awake because MIcah had gotten me up an hour earlier and I had not been able to fall back asleep as of yet. However, Cody closed the door again and disappeared. Given my strong desire to stay in bed, I did not pursue him and simply hoped he would catch on when he saw the sandwich at the table. Much later, after Mike left for work, Cody came in my room and told me about the sandwich I had left him. I was happy he had found it and I happily acknowledged that yes, I had left a sandwich for him. He proceeded to point out that I had not cut off the crusts. Okay. I guess the food critic was not completely satisfied with our exemplary parental efforts. Fine. I pictured the crusts strewn about on the plate and the table, a culinary crime scene. I was okay with that. At least he had not taken out the brown sugar or the syrup again like yesterday.

When I emerged into the kitchen shortly thereafter, I saw the sandwich. Untouched. Unwrapped. Immediately I turned to Cody and said, "You didn't eat your sandwich!" It was then that I noticed his face was covered in chocolate. I asked him, "What DID you eat?" He said, "Chocolate chips." Obviously. I asked him why he ate chocolate chips and not is sandwich. He told me he was hungry for chocolate chips. Then he said he just wanted to eat something unhealthy. Yes, he actually said that.

We are now all in the living room, and it is fairly peaceful in here. Cody has built a tiny train track in a circle that is about a foot in diameter and one of his trains is circling it repeatedly. Jamie is laying under the table beside Cricket, sucking his thumb. Micah is in his swing, watching his brothers in wide-eyed wonder and amusement. And I am sitting in a chair enjoying the calm of the moment. I hope the rest of the day goes this well. I have to go to town tonight to have my eyes looked at again. I will probably leave as soon as Mike gets home and hopefully finish my Christmas shopping for him at the same time. We'll see. I'm not sure what I'm doing yet and I am not a spontaneous Christmas shopper. If I have a solid plan in place by the end of the afternoon I will go. If not, I will simply go to my appointment and do my shopping another day. Perhaps on the weekend? I really am not fond of Christmas shopping...especially in December when the rush really hits. That's why I want to get done as soon as possible. I do not look forward to driving in now that winter has hit with a vengeance. It is not extremely cold yet, but the roads are not good in these parts and I am a chicken about winter roads. I am doubly chicken about winter roads in the dark, and that is what I will be navigating this evening. Hopefully it will go well. I will be leaving Micah behind now that he takes a bottle. I'll miss the little guy, but I'll feel better not having him along when the roads may be dicy.

So, I guess I should go. I had an unproductive day yesterday and I should make an extra effort today to make up for it. I'm off for now.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Winter is here.

We're back. Right now I wish I wasn't. Today is the first day in December, and looking out the window it really shows! Yesterday there was not a single flake of snow on the ground. Today we are looking out at a winter wonderland. The tree branches are all burdened with two or three inches of snow and the ground is a thick white blanket. A light white powder continues to fall softly from the sky with not a breath of wind to blow it sideways. Truly it is a beautiful sight, but it also means highway conditions will be an ever-present concern from now until late March or so. As usual, I am kicking myself for not having finished my Christmas shopping in November as I had originally planned. It is harder than it seems to follow a plan like that when there are three young boys in the equation.

Today I need to go into town to have my eyes looked at again. My right eye seems okay now and I am on drops until tomorrow, but now the other eye is really red and somewhat light sensitive and I feel like it is starting all over again. I am terribly discouraged about it and I'm tired of seeing doctors...especially eye doctors. I don't really want to venture in today with my boys in the van because conditions are less than ideal on the roads, but if I don't, will my eye get worse? I'm so tired of this. Today I am discouraged and irritable, and all I want to do is crawl into bed and go to sleep. I don't feel like dealing with grouchy boys, but that's what I've got. We didn't get home from our weekend until 12:30 a.m. which was altogether way too late for me. I was stressed out and upset and felt like making that the last time I attend, but I'm sure the boys will want to be part of it in the future. Mike too, for that matter. I just don't know why it has to be so late on a Sunday. If I had known I probably would have opted out.

Anyway, I probably shouldn't post much more right now. I'm just in too terrible a mood to be allowed to share my thoughts publicly. Hopefully things will improve later today. Maybe we should put our tree up tonight. Then again, maybe best to save that until I'm in a decent mood. I don't know. The boys are eating lunch now. As soon as they're done I'm putting Jamie to bed and I'm kicking Cody outside. He can try his new boots on. I think he'll like it, actually. Maybe he'll have so much fun he'll stay out for a while. I'd love to do some Christmas baking, but it's too messy in here and I'm too tired. If I don't bum around, I will have to spend my energy cleaning, not baking. Not yet.

So, I'm off for now. Hopefully I'll have something more positive to report tomorrow.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

A Good Day

I have always believed that some women are truly cut out to be housewives and stay-at-home moms. Then there are those who are born career women. I don't know that I fall neatly into either category. I don't miss going to work at this point in time, but often I feel like I'm not doing the greatest job at home either. This week has been very positive for me because I feel like I am finally getting my groove as far as being a housewife goes. I'm not saying I'm good at it, but today as I flew around the house checking laundry, preparing food for the boys, doing dishes and just cleaning up in general I really felt like this is a job that I can enjoy. There is great satisfaction in actually keeping up with the work around here, though I don't often manage to stay right on top of things. I am getting some energy back and it feels good. I hope it will continue.

Today I went outside with the boys again, minus Micah, who was sleeping, and we played soccer, baseball and football. Okay, Jamie threw and kicked a football around while Cody and I played keep away with a soccer ball. Later I pitched for Cody with our ball which is crumpled beyond recognition by Radar, but Cody can actually hit the ball with the bat. As we played out in the yard I thought about my house full of boys and realized that I can still participate in their activities and play with them. I'm not exactly a girlie-girl, but I'm not really a jock either. (Hm. Another area where I don't fit neatly into either category...) I love my boys to pieces, but there has been a part of me that has wondered whether I am missing out by not having a girl too. I have feared missing out on bonding and mostly on being left alone later in life. However, I have a special relationship with my boys and I just have to choose to be involved with them even if we may not have everything in common. As it turns out, Jamie went crazy over the horse he rode recently, so maybe he will ride with me if we ever get one. The bottom line is, there is nothing to stop me from bonding with my kids just because they are not the same gender as me. I know that sounds obvious, but I've been afraid that they would not want to hang out with me the way a girl might. The more my boys grow, the more I am seeing what people mean when they talk about the special relationship that boys have with their mothers. So, I am very thankful for all of my boys...even when they drive me crazy!

Speaking of crazy, the morning was a wild one. Cody and Jamie played very well together all morning. That is to say, they did not fight much. However, they both got wounded repeatedly including a bloody lip on Cody and a bloody toe on Jamie. The two incidents were separate, thank goodness! Haha. I don't even know what happened. I think they bonked heads when Cody's lip got split. I don't know what Jamie did to his toe. I was too busy running around cleaning the kitchen, doing laundry, cleaning the living room and trying to entertain Micah. In the afternoon Cody did a workout with me again, this one a half hour resistance workout. Finally something I will be feeling tomorrow. It was a Turbo Jam workout, for anyone who has heard of it. Very fun, nice and challenging. Okay, for me right now it is VERY challenging. I hope to get back to a place where I purposely increased the difficulty to make it challenging. I'm a long way from there right now. I miss those days.

Anyway, my final load of laundry just stopped in the dryer and Micah is bored, so I better go. I will be busy tomorrow packing for our weekend. We have a Christmas thing with the extended family. It should be fun. I hope the boys will not be too tired to enjoy it. Oops, now Micah is really ticked! I'm off!

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

A Sad Bunny Story

Interesting day so far. As usual, the morning was rough with Cody. I'm not sure why mornings are frequently bad for him, but they are. It was so bad that after lunch I put all three boys to bed. That is a rare occurrence indeed! Cody didn't sleep, which is probably good, but he did stay in there for a while. I took that opportunity to do another workout. Wow. That's three days in a row. It was only fifteen minutes, but I needed to shower before Micah needed me again. Ironically, he is still sleeping so I could have done a longer one, but that's okay. It is always a gamble to try a longer workout with a baby around.

After my shower you can imagine my delight when I discovered that our latest item to go missing is my hair brush. Don't I have another hair brush? Why yes, yes I do. It is also missing. As it turns out, both of my combs are gone as well. Make that all three. Now I know Jamie is really into his hair and often hauls brushes or combs around, but I always get them back into my bathroom. I guess I am not on the ball this time. It is probably in his room or Micah's, but seeing they are both sleeping I am not going in there.

I was also horrified after my workout when I glanced out the window and saw Radar, (our German Shepherd cross) trotting proudly around the house with a white rabbit dangling limply out of his mouth. I could not believe it. I've seen him chase rabbits through the bush before, but I honestly didn't think he could catch one. It's kind of disturbing seeing we have a rabbit that lives in the kitchen where Radar sleeps at night. I was very sad to see it. I don't like to see animals die, but it's even worse when they are really cute ones like rabbits. It was sort of amusing to see how proud he was of himself as he carted the rabbit around, but it is sad all the same.

It is hours later now and the rabbit is still laying in our yard. I had a feeling he wouldn't eat it. So that rabbit went to waste. Maybe he found it already dead. Do dogs kill for sport? I don't really know. It was a good lesson for Cody about death. Anyway, I have to sign off now because it is 8:34 p.m. and I want to spend some time with Mike before this day is completely over!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Workouts and relaxation

I don't know that I'd call today quiet, but it is going all right. The morning was difficult as I was butting heads with Cody all morning. I had to fly out of my bed when I heard a loud bang and then hysterical crying from Jamie. He had hit his chin on the night table in their room, though I found out a little later that Cody had pushed him into it. His chin is now purple and a bit puffy. Poor kid. While I was in there I discovered a whole bag of Lays dill pickle chips on Cody's bed, crumbs everywhere. I wish him all the best when he tries to sleep in that later tonight. Haha.

This afternoon, Cody and I did a workout together, which was productive, yet amusing. He is much like his dad when he tries to do aerobic moves. This is the second day in a row we have done a workout together, so maybe I have myself a little partner here. I hope so. I need someone to keep me on track. Micah watched us from his swing and later from his exersaucer. He was probably studying our graceful moves for future use. Now he is laying on the floor complaining. I'm not sure what the problem is, but I think he may need to go back to bed. He has been up for two hours now, so it is probably time for a short nap. Maybe I'll just cuddle him for a while.

I am being a bit of a slacker today as far as housework goes. I haven't done any. Well, I have laundry going, and I have prepared meals for the boys, but I have not done any dishes or any other type of cleaning. For some reason I am extra tired today. Micah slept through last night for the first time in five days, and it was great, but for some reason I am feeling drained today. That's okay though. It is relatively clean in here so today will be a more relaxing day for me. I'm trying to avoid the kitchen because I want to stay away from any unnecessary temptations in there. I've decided it is time to get back in shape for real. I don't know how on earth I am going to do it, but I just have to do something. I have lost eight pounds in the last two months, but that is very slow, especially considering how far I have to go. Maybe I'll report my progress in here now and again.

Anyway, Micah's complaints are getting very adamant, so I must rescue him from the floor. Bye for now.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Peace and quiet? Wow.

It has been a relatively uneventful Monday so far. Right now Jamie is sleeping and Cody is watching a bit of TV. He was outside for a while, which is good, but wanted to come in for a while. Micah is in his swing, chewing on a rattle happily between huge pukes. I thought this might be my only opportunity to blog a bit. Ironically, there is not a huge amount to say...probably because the day has been so uneventful. I don't mind though. I have a very clean kitchen and a mostly clean living room which is very inspiring. It makes me more excited about doing housework. Even my laundry room is quite clean right now so doing laundry feels more fun.

Micah is squawking at me from his swing with a smile on his precious face. I do mean squawking. I think he has a cold and his voice sounds very scratchy. We did not have a good night last night. Ironically, last night between 6:30 and midnight I fed him four times but today since 8:30 this morning I have only fed him three times. He is not doing well at night recently and I'm pretty sure it's because his little throat is sore. Last night we finally decided to let him cry it out a bit after trying Tylenol, nursing, changing a wet diaper, changing wet clothes...etc. It took thirteen long minutes, but he finally settled himself. I never had to let my other two boys cry that long. I know, I know. That's nothing, right? Well, it feels like something. I'm not one to let a young baby cry and cry, but seriously it came to the point last night where it was either that or I'd have to hold him all night. I couldn't do that knowing I'd be alone all day today with Mike at work. I hope tonight is better. Now he is rubbing his eyes, so it looks like he's ready for another nap now. Woo hoo! That means I'll be down to one boy for a while, which may give me an opportunity to do some homework.

Other than my usual daily routines, the only thing on my brain is horses. Yes, that's right. I am like a twelve-year-old girl who desperately wants a pony for her birthday. I don't know whether I'll ever get one, but for now I can dream.

I better go. It is silent in the house again. Cody is up, but the other two are sleeping. Cody and I just did a couple of laps up and down the driveway and then did a workout with my virtual personal trainer, Maya. She didn't say anything about how long it has been since she has seen me. In truth, she had actually forgotten my existence. That's probably a bad sign. Anyway, I'm off for now.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Udderly Amazing?

It's lunch time here and I am in the living room by myself. Micah is sleeping in his crib, Jamie is in his high chair finishing his lunch, and Cody is in the basement with Mike. I'm not sure what they're doing down there, but it is relatively quiet in here and for that, I am grateful. It looks like I'm going to be alone with the boys all afternoon, so I thought I'd post in here now while I actually have the opportunity. I'd love to sneak in a nap, but I don't think that will be a possibility today. Micah has been getting up in the night. I think he has a little bit of a cold. Yesterday he ate every two hours for most of the day. I am not used to that. Usually I feed him about five times in a single 24 hour period. Yesterday I did nine. That's almost double what he normally does. I hope he won't be that extreme today. At least last night he was only up once, at 2:30 a.m. It was not fun, but it was better than the previous few nights.

So yesterday I got Mike to pick up a new product in town. The product is not new, but it is new in our household. It is called (are you ready for this?) Bag Balm. Sounds odd, don't you think? If any of you are farmers, you may know what I am talking about. Actually, it is a product used on cows' udders for relief when they are chapped or clogged. Now before you go jumping to any conclusions, I had something entirely different in mind for this product. A few months ago, I read on the internet that this stuff is good for eczema, and seeing I have been suffering with it ever since Cody was born I have been wanting to try it. An even bigger motivator was the fact that Jamie also has eczema, and far worse than I ever have. We are currently cutting all dairy products out of his diet to see whether that might help, but I figured if there was something that I could apply topically that would clear it up, maybe we wouldn't have to change his diet at all. I know what some of you are thinking. If we don't change his diet it will not clear up. That is probably correct, but not necessarily. That's what we are hoping to find out. Already it seems to have made a difference and we just applied it for the first time last night. I used it on my hands as well, and I think it will help me as well. Is it a miracle cure? Well, I doubt it. But even if it offers relief and some improvement it will be worth it. How ironic that Jamie's diet must avoid all things bovine and now he has to apply something to his skin that was made for cattle. I will use this product on myself and on Jamie for a couple of weeks and then I will do an update, or perhaps even a review of some kind. I hope I will have a positive report!

In other news, it looks like my horse got sold. I'm not entirely sure on that, but she disappeared from the classifieds overnight. Normally if something gets sold, it says SOLD on there and remains on the page for several days. That one thing gives me hope that maybe they just pulled the ad because they are considering waiting until the spring to sell her. If that is the case, maybe I still have a chance at buying her. In the mean time, there are two other horses on the site that I am interested in, but in reality I am crazy to even be looking. Right now we have plenty of land but no fence so we obviously are not in a position to keep a horse here. We may never have a horse, but recently it is all I can think about. I am not sure why. I just need something for myself. Not a possession, but something to do that I love that involves leaving the house. Sigh. I already had the bug and then I went and got on a horse this week and now it is much worse. Maybe it will calm down some over the winter. Probably. Maybe by spring I will have forgotten all about this desire. Time will tell I suppose.

Anyway, we're getting ready to put Jamie to bed and Cody outside. Micah is awake now. Juggling. See how that works? My policy is to avoid having all three boys at once whenever possible. Having only one at a time is even more ideal, but we'll see what happens. It is still pretty nice out so I am kicking Cody out for a while. I would like to go out too, but not sure whether that will happen right now or not. I'd also love to shower, or nap, or do some kind of a workout. The first two will probably be difficult to pull off with boys around, and the last one will be difficult to do without a speck of energy, which is my current status. However, difficult does not equal impossible, so we'll see what happens. For now, time to sign off.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Busy, busy, busy!!!

Another crazy week has almost come to an end and I have barely had time to check my email, let alone post in here. As I type this, Micah is laying on his Daddy, drinking a bottle contentedly. We decided to try a bottle tonight to see whether he would take it, so I could go out if I needed to or wanted to. I fully expected a battle of at least half an hour consisting of a wailing baby and eventually a tearful mommy. However, he took it without so much as a tiny frown. Wow. What an easy baby!!! I guess that means I am officially free to go out whenever I want to as long as Mike is here to take the boys. Micah is now sleeping, having drained the entire bottle. So adorable.

Yesterday I took him in for his two month appointment, even though he is already three and a half months old. It turns out he is big for his age, as his brothers were. Specifically, he is tall. I was glad to get that done, and we spent the rest of the day with one of my sisters-in-law and her kids, so the boys were really happy. We were at her house the day before too, and had a blast. We all got to ride her horse. Cody was really scared, but I managed to get him to sit in the saddle for a few minutes. Jamie was in his element and had no fear. He loved it. As for me, I am a little out of practice after not having ridden in two or three years, but it felt so good to be on a horse again. I only walked him because he had no bridle on, just a halter and a rope, and I didn't want him doing anything silly when I had so little control over him, but I rode him for about 15 minutes and it felt great. On top of that it was about 15 degrees outside, and we barely even needed jackets. What a beautiful November.

Today was a very domestic day for me. I made biscuits for the first time ever. I was a little nervous, due to my less than outstanding track record in the kitchen, but it went quite smoothly and they turned out to be the best biscuits I have ever eaten. Seriously. They were so fluffy and moist. Wow. Good biscuits. Cody helped and was thrilled to cut them out with a glass and to lift them off with a knife and place them on the cookie sheet. Once we were done with those, we made Rice Krispie cake. That's when things got a little dicey. Okay, I didn't blow it entirely, but as I confessed to another sister-in-law today, I find Rice Krispie cake incredibly difficult to make. In fact, I do not remember having one successful attempt to make it. I do remember making it with my mom many years ago. Hers always turned out really well and had the perfect texture and consistency. Today, mine was not a total write off. Not all of it anyway. I did discover that making Rice Krispie cake takes an incredible amount of arm strength. I also discovered that I don't have any. I think I will be sore tomorrow. A good portion of the gooey concoction stuck to the bottom of the pot and was a write-off. How does anyone make good Rice Krispie cake? Oh well. In the end it still tasted good, and the boys really liked it. It was worth it just to hear Jamie trying to say Rice Krispie cake.

I guess that is all I did in the way of cooking today. Funny, I felt much more domestic than that sounds. My house is a mess, but I literally did not have time to clean it today. Why? Hm. I don't even know. I remember picking up many things off the floor with the intention of cleaning thoroughly later, but I never made it there. I did dishes, and no laundry yet which is not good. I better start that now. What in the world did I do all morning? I did talk on the phone, but I was doing stuff at the same time.

I do remember walking into Cody's room this morning in search of something and seeing something white on his bed. Upon closer inspection it turned out to be coconut. Lots of it. All over his sheets. That would explain why I saw the coconut canister on the island counter when I got out of bed this morning. I wonder whether that will be uncomfortable for him to sleep in tonight. I was not in his room again after that so I forgot about it. Mike tucked him into bed tonight while I was preparing Micah's bottle and when I got there I saw the offending coconut all over the carpet. I guess it got brushed off the bed. That must mean I will need to vacuum tomorrow.

Anyway, I could go on and on, but a cloth diapering mama never rests. It is time to do my laundry. Maybe I'll have a chance to post again tomorrow.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Sour milk and Shake'n Bake

It has been another long day. It started at about 5 a.m. with a fussy baby and has been non-stop ever since. It is nearly 7 p.m. and Mike just got home. Lucky him, he got to have an encounter with a dentist. He is running the bath now for the boys. I managed to cook some chicken and mashed potatoes without burning the house down, and that's something to be proud of. Okay, so it was Shake'n Bake. Either way, I cooked a real meal for the boys and served it all by myself. For anyone who is unaware, I am not exactly brimming with confidence when it comes to all things culinary. Somehow, we made it through the meal in relative calm, a rare occurrence indeed. On top of that, they both ate everything on their plates and had broccoli for dessert. Bonus.

This morning I spent most of my time cleaning sour milk puke off myself and off Micah. When he was finally so drenched in it that he could not handle it anymore, I gave him a bath. He smiled gratefully at me throughout the bath and proceeded to pee on the floor when I put him down on his towel. Ironically, just moments earlier I had questioned my decision to let the bath water out, anticipating this very thing. Micah was delighted with himself as he emptied his tiny, yet surprisingly full bladder on the bathroom floor and on himself and his towel. I managed to pop the plug back in the drain before all the water was gone and he was a little surprised to be put directly back into the tub. He didn't seem too bothered by it though. Once he was all cleaned up and dressed in a brand new onesie that he had never worn before, he proceeded to soak it with another abundant puke. Phew. Okay, I was wanting to wash that one again anyway so it would shrink a bit more. Micah was not finished with me yet though. Later on he pooped for the first time in seven days. Wow. That was fun too!

I was able to go outside for about half an hour today and it was beautiful outside. I was thankful for the opportunity to go for a short walk in the amazing uncharacteristic November weather. It was ten degrees today. We don't even have any snow yet. It's wonderful. I even sat on our porch swing and read my book for a while.

As far as my weekend goes, I decided to go see an optometrist on Saturday morning. Wouldn't you know it, I do have iritis again. I am on eye drops every four hours now, but I was on them for every two hours all weekend. Anyway, it is discouraging to have a relapse this soon after my last episode, but there is nothing I can do about it. Eye drops. Great. It has improved already, but I was really hoping it was nothing this time. The only bonus is that I have set an alarm to go off on my ipod every time I am due for my drops, and I picked a different sound for each time. Yesterday Cody said to me, "Mom, why is your iPod quacking?" It was, too.

So, it is now 8:30 p.m. and it is time to kick back and relax. Good night.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Eye problems.

When one is freaking out about some type of physical symptom in the body, it is probably not wise to Google that symptom. That's what I just did. Now I am on the verge of panic and even feel a bit queasy in my guts. My eye looks disgusting, and it is quite sore. Because of my history, I should probably go in and have it checked, but last time I did there was nothing there. That was a good thing, but the doctor told me to do this routine called "lid hygiene" which involves washing my face with a special tea tree oil facial soap twice a day. No problem, right? After I wash my face, I am supposed to soak a facecloth in really hot water and hold it against my closed eyes for ten minutes, reheating the cloth frequently to keep it as hot as possible without burning myself. Say what? You want me to close my eyes for ten whole minutes? With three boys in the house ages three and under? You must be kidding! The sad truth of it is, I was not really worried about it, so I never did it. I am normally an excellent patient and do whatever the doctor tells me, but this time I seriously could not fathom doing this when I am home alone with the boys.

That brings me to my current dilemma. My eye has been red for two weeks now, and sore for two days. It is at the point now where I am feeling scared, wondering whether I should go in right away. The problem is, we have ONE ophthalmologist, and he is busy. Very busy. If I go in there and waste his time and it turns out to be nothing, he will not be impressed when he finds out I have not been doing this lid hygiene like he asked me to. It will be my fault that my eye is bothering me, and my fault that I wasted his time. Additionally, he will not take me seriously the next time I have a problem. Me and this doctor already have issues. Part of me is tempted to make an emergency appointment with an optometrist instead, which I can do today but not tomorrow, but wouldn't you know it, I am home alone. Alone with the boys, that is. So, I cannot book an appointment until Mike gets home, and I don't know when that will be. So I am sitting here on my bed, hiding from all of my kids (though I hear Cody coming now...) feeling stressed out and a little angry. I did the lid hygiene routine this morning and will do it again tonight. I will probably just do that until Monday and go in that day if I still have a problem. The thing is, if it is uveitis again and I don't get it treated right away, it is extremely dangerous and can cause permanent damage in my eye. Do you see my dilemma? I wish I had an eye doctor that I trusted.

Other than my eyeball problems, I have homework to focus on today. I have done a lot of it, but still might need to spend a couple of hours at it. As usual, I am somewhat blank on topic ideas. I guess I should sign off for now. I should not be hiding in here. Cody and Jamie are each playing alone or I would not have gotten away with this for so long. Micah is in his playpen, safe. I don't know whether he is sleeping or not. I hear vocal sounds, but I can't tell whether they are coming from Micah or Jamie. I know that seems weird, but it is slightly muffled from here. Oh, the music just started up on his bouncy chair, so he is definitely awake. He is not crying though, so I am not going to rush in there.

Hehe. Jamie just climbed up behind me and he has his hands on my back like he is going to massage me. I'll take anything I can get! Oh wait, he's going to rip my hair out with a hair clip instead. How wonderful. And now Micah is crying, so I have to go. I suppose I'll keep the eyeball situation updated, if there's anything to update. I hope there maybe my eye clearing up on its own in the next two days. Bye for now.

P.S. My horse is still not sold. Hehe. Maybe I'll still be able to buy her!

Friday, November 13, 2009

Up to My Eyeballs

Hm. Not feeling so good this afternoon. I'm glad it's Friday so I will have back-up for the next two days. It has been one of those roller coaster days. Difficult morning, pretty decent afternoon. Why? Jamie is now in bed so I only have one "big boy" to deal with at a time. Cody had some serious attitude issues this morning and Jamie has a bad cold again, so he is grumpy. He has two of his two-year molars coming in and I suspect the other two are not far behind. He always gets a cold when he is teething, and though we have been told by our dentist friend that teething does not cause colds I believe it does make them more susceptible.

As for myself, I have a problem with one of my eyes. This is a recurring theme in my life in the last five and a half years. My eye has been horribly red for the last two weeks, but I have not thought too much of it because it was not at all sore. I figured I probably burst a blood vessel or something (eeewwww!!!) though I have no idea how. In case I have not mentioned it, I have major eyeball issues. Psychological ones, that is. I can't even eat grapes because of their shape and texture, if that gives you an indication. In the movie Conspiracy Theory, I was the only one laughing hysterically during the torture scene because his eyes were taped open and I was so disturbed that something inside of me snapped and brought on a completely inappropriate reaction. It was quite embarrassing, as a matter of fact. I hope nobody knew it was me laughing. So, with this debilitating psychological issue, I am not good at handling eye own or anyone else's. I have cut people off rather rudely when they are describing their lasik eye surgery and spent several minutes squeezing my own eyes shut afterward, as though that could actually shut down my vivid imagination. Maybe that's why this recurring eye ailment freaks me out so badly.

In typical fashion, this entry has taken me the entire day, so I have to sign off. I'm pretty sure I had more to say, but it has disintegrated like Lot's wife and there is little hope that it will ever return. I am cooking supper in "Girl Land". Mike is patrolling the boys and keeping them out of the kitchen. I see them and I hear them, but I do not have to trip over them or discipline them for now. It feels good. Bye for now.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Nudity and Spectacles

Again I have skipped a few days in here due to the incredible insanity in this household. This morning, I am preparing to have company after lunch. Gotta go break up a fight. Wow. So I got two whole sentences out before the boys started fighting. More accurately, Cody hit his brother on the head. How is a person supposed to get anything done under these circumstances???

Earlier I was in the kitchen loading the dishwasher when Jamie came in, half-naked. Guess which half? The good half, of course. Why would a boy bother to be naked from the waist up when he could be naked from the waist down? He seems to have no trouble removing his pants and his diaper. I found myself uttering a phrase that has become very familiar to me. "Why are you naked??" I didn't have time to pursue that angle before I noticed what was in his hands. A glasses lens. Great. Now he had to have been in my purse where I have Cody's old lenses from his past prescriptions. I took it from him and demanded repeatedly, "Where did you get this?" while heading out of the kitchen to find my purse. Then it occurred to me. I don't use my purse anymore. I have a giant diaper bag, so I don't bother with the purse. I just keep my wallet in my diaper bag so I don't have to carry so much around. That's when I knew the lens was not an old one. I rushed to the boys' room and sure enough, there were Cody's glasses laying twisted on the floor, one lens missing. I nearly cried. How many times will this happen?? I gave Cody a lecture about wearing his glasses. He knows he is supposed to put them on first thing in the morning. I can't really fully blame him, because he is only three and a half, but I have told him MANY times that he must keep his glasses away from Jamie.

Sometime during that last paragraph I had to comfort Jamie, who has another bad cold by the way, because he snapped and elastic on his wrist. He was basically inconsolable to the point that it was obvious he needed a nap. He said no when I offered to put him in his crib. He then said "bed?" all excited and ran to the end of the hall. Problem is, he turned to MY room instead of his. He wanted to lay on my bed. It was really sad. He got so upset when I said no, and I decided to put him in his crib against his will. He immediately lay down with his stuffed bear and stuffed dog. I suspect he is asleep already. That leaves me with only Cody. Wow. This is a rare happening for a morning.

I suppose I will have to move on now and continue getting ready. Oh, but first I should mention that I have solved my piano key dilemma. (If I already mentioned this, please forgive my brain. My memory is only slightly better than Dory's, from Finding Nemo.) On Friday evening Mike and I went for a "date", which was actually errands followed by a very late supper at Applebee's. Before we started our errands we went to the piano shop at the university, where Mike's cousin works restoring pianos. He had told us he probably could find a key for us. To make a long story short, he got us a Kawaii key that looked like it would work, even though our piano is a Yamaha. Sure enough, the key worked. Two days later I found my key. It was in my room, as I had suspected, under my night table. Sounds obvious enough, like we should have found it sooner. The truth is, it was in a weird place. My night table goes right to the floor, so nothing can get under it unless it falls out of a drawer. If something falls out of the front of the drawer, it ends up on the floor in front of the night table. If it falls out of the back of the drawer, it lands under the table at the back. The key was under the table at the very front. I removed the drawer and cleaned out the whole thing with the intention of finding the key. It worked, but I had to lean right in to see it.

So, another mystery solved. We are still missing one very important item in our house, but that is another story. I guess it is time for me to face reality and continue cleaning this house. It is not bad at all in here, but there is definitely some work to do. Bye for now.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Good night, early morning.

Phew! It has been a busy week and weekend, hence the lack of posts in here. As usual, I am very tired but I am happy to report that Micah slept through last night. If Cody had not barged in our room at 6 a.m. I would be feeling quite well-rested, I suspect. He came in just long enough to let in one of our cats who took it upon herself to be as irritating as possible. When Mike got up to boot her out, she hid under the bed. We were both really mad. Mike finally got her out and then Cody came in again and left the door open a crack...just enough for the other cat to get in. AAHHH! Well, the second time it was Cricket, and even though she sometimes rattles plastic bags and does other annoying things I knew if I just called her she would come and lay on the bed. Sure enough, it did come to that so I called her. Boy was she thrilled. She purred like her life depended on it and she lay right across my chest in pure bliss. She has not been allowed to sleep in our room since Micah was born and she's kind of a baby herself, so she really misses it.

Micah has now spent two nights in his very own bedroom. The first night I was a wreck. I don't know why I reacted so extremely, but I just could not stop crying when I went to bed. I missed seeing his adorable face beside me and watching his eyes slowly close as he drifted off. I know it is for the best because if we wait too much longer to transition him, it will be way more difficult for him which will in turn make it way harder on us. He has a good crib, so he will not be suffering in there. I did not feel as sad last night, though I still did miss him. He is napping in his crib now.

I am just sitting down for a little break this morning as I have been on the go, as usual. I fed all three boys and got the boys' laundry going. Then I folded the diaper laundry and folded all the baby laundry to put it away. I still have one or two baskets of clean laundry that need folding, and at least that many that need washing. Wow. Laundry, laundry, laundry!!! It never seems to even slow down. That's okay. I have to say that laundry is one of the only domestic duties that I am actually good at. Well, relatively good anyway. I don't always fold it immediately, but I am usually pretty good now. I also did a big load of dishes so that's good. I have a ton of stuff left to do, but I just wanted to sit for a few minutes first.

Jamie is walking around wearing Cody's rubber boots, as usual. I just put some clothes on him, but prior to that he was in just a diaper and rubber boots. Silly boy. This morning he crawled onto my bed and peered right into my face and said, "Hi Mom." It was really cute. Yikes! He just climbed onto my lap and combed my hair. Ouch. My hair is in a ponytail, but he managed to remove a good chunk of it. Out of the ponytail, that is, not out of my scalp though I suspect it may have headed in that direction had I not intervened.

I guess I should sign off and continue on my quest to be supermom, or superwife...or superhousekeeper??? I don't know. How about just super. Super anything. I feel like I'm about to fall asleep. I will have to try to get outside today too. I did not yesterday, and I barely did on Saturday so I have slacked off in my decision to get at least a tiny bit of fresh air every day. Today and tomorrow are looking to be the last really warm days of the season so I don't want to miss them. This afternoon when Jamie naps I will go out with Cody, if Micah sleeps too. Time to get back to work.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

A Sad Milestone

I am nearly ready for bed but wanted to check in here. My Mom has gone home and already my house looks messier. It was great to have her here. Cody was not nearly as difficult to deal with because he got more attention and he also spent a great deal of time outside. The weather has been beautiful, so that has been helpful. Jamie amazed my Mom with his crazy and non-stop antics. She just couldn't believe how fast and how frequently he got into trouble. Apparently she told my sister it is no wonder I have a hard time getting anything done. I guess that means I'm not just pathetic. It somehow helps to know that.

Tonight I am on my own, in a sense. Mike has homework and has been downstairs all evening working on it. Cody and Jamie are in bed sleeping, of course, and Micah is now settled for the night...hopefully. The catch is, he is in his own room. This may not seem like a big deal, but tonight is the first night we have moved him into his own room instead of having him in the cradle right beside my side of the bed. I should be rejoicing in this, but instead I am sad and fighting tears. I don't remember whether I felt this way with the other two or not. Not Cody, I know that. Jamie I can't remember. But this time it is really hard. I love watching him fall asleep. I hate the thought of him in a dark room all alone. And there is this part of me that feels like I have now experienced having a baby sleeping in my room for the very last time ever. If he is my last baby, we have just passed a milestone that means he won't be my baby much longer. I know, it probably sounds overly emotional and like I'm making a big deal out of nothing, but I cannot help myself. I just love my little Micah so much and now I feel even more lonely somehow. I hope he will not be lonely too. He likes to gaze across at us as he falls asleep. Now he will not be able to. Will he notice that he has too much space in his crib? He is pretty wedged in to his cradle, so it may not feel very cozy being more spread out. I just feel like I'm going to miss him.

I think I am irrational. I am so overtired that I am crying over little things and I am continually dizzy. I really don't think I have ever felt so sad about moving my baby into his own room. It feels like the beginning of the end. Wow. I need to get out more. I need to sleep more. Maybe I need psychological help. I think I will go to bed now. Alone. Completely alone. How weird. All this time I at least had Micah with me...he is crying. Someone is crying. I have to go see what's wrong. Goodnight.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Yay! My Mom is here.

My Mom is here and it has been nice. My house looks mostly clean other than a bit of clutter on the kitchen counter and other than my bedroom. It is nice to have backup when dealing with Cody, and it has been good for him and Jamie to have someone else to interact with other than me during the day. We have all been outside every day, a habit that I have been trying to establish for myself for the last week or so. Of course, it doesn't hurt that a week into November we are still without snow and tomorrow it is even supposed to go up to 16 degrees. (Celsius, of course.) My Mom has offered us a night off tomorrow, so Mike and I will be going to town. Micah will accompany us, as usual, and we are not even entirely certain as to the nature of our outing at this point. Will it be a date? I don't know. Does Christmas shopping and clothes shopping classify as a date? I'm thinking not really, but it is still an opportunity to leave the house together without all three boys in tow. We will likely either go out for supper or go out for appetizers or dessert after our errands are done. We'll see how we do.

Anyway, despite a plethora of Jamie-related incidents that have occurred during the last 48 hours, I am just too wiped out to continue this post. Maybe I will catch up a bit tomorrow afternoon. For now, I am going to read a bit in my room while I wait for the ideal time to feed Micah before we hit the hay. Mike is out playing hockey tonight and I doubt I'll see him home before 1 a.m. Crazy, eh? Goodnight.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

A Colorful Morning

This is one of those mornings where I wonder whether all four of us will survive until Mike gets home. My hands are currently covered in marker and I have not done any coloring today. Cody took the liberty of turning Jamie's blue shirt red by coloring almost his entire back despite having been told very firmly that the markers would only be used on paper. Why is it that my three and a half year old is so brilliant that he seems closer to five, but he refuses to use markers as they were intended? It makes me very angry because he knows better and he does it on purpose. Even as he confessed to me that he had drawn all over Jamie's back, he stood with a marker and wrote on the wall. Right in front of me. Things went rapidly downhill from there. Please understand, it is not the fact that there are marks on all of my upholstered kitchen chairs, all over the table, all over their clothes and there are chalk drawings all over the closet doors that gets me really angry. Yes, it bothers me because I am not one of those moms who is good at being relaxed and not caring when things get ruined or even just messy. However, I am able to make a choice to not be so uptight and let my kids just be kids. The problem is, what Cody did was not done in the spirit of being a child. It was done in a spirit of deliberate disobedience and was followed by one of the rudest tantrums in which he assured me he would hide all the markers on me and I would not be allowed to take them away from him. I was sorely tempted to have a tantrum of my own and throw the whole bin of coloring supplies into the garbage right in front of him, but common sense prevailed and I decided to take the high road instead. Things have improved since then, but I am still on edge today. Was I cut out for this job? It doesn't feel like it.

I have to check on my baby. He is in the play pen, which is only two feet from where I'm sitting, but I can't see him from here and I have a feeling he has fallen asleep in there. I will move him into his crib in that case. He is doing well and would have slept through the night last night except for Cody, who has taken it upon himself to barge into our room a minimum of five times each morning between 1 a.m. and 7 a.m. Usually he does all of his barging in between 5:30 a.m. and 7:30 a.m., but I don't really care. It has gone on long enough and I really would like to start locking our door. He needs to be broken of the habit, and weeks have gone by without any improvement. He is actually in there to steal my ipod touch so he can watch videos on it of Lightning McQueen. It is ridiculous. I have not allowed him any such privilege for a number of weeks now and still he begs all day every day. Will he ever give up? At this point it seems doubtful, but I will continue to try. I must go now. I'm positive Micah must be asleep.

Oh, I guess I should mention that we have lost another significant item in our house. Our piano key has disappeared. I'm not talking about middle C here, or any other black or white key. I'm talking about the metal key that locks and unlocks the keyboard cover. Right now, the piano sits locked and can be played by nobody. I was so upset about this last night. Why do things keep disappearing around here??? The good news is, I found out this morning I can purchase another key for about $7 in town, but I shouldn't have to. I had two keys. One, my backup key, I can't remember where I stored it in the first place. Yes, that is useful, isn't it? The other one, I kept in the same place forever and then I moved it on top of the piano so it was convenient. Recently, I moved it to my room because of certain short individuals who enjoy climbing on my piano. That was where I really went wrong. The key is most certainly missing, and I have no idea where else to look for it. I can only shake my head at my unwise decision to put something small and important in my room. Now what? Well, I may have to go to town to buy another key. How ridiculous.

Anyway, I really must go. Micah IS asleep on his side in the play pen under a toy bar with toys hanging down from it. It's very cute. Bye for now.

Monday, November 2, 2009

By the Light of the Moon

Things are so busy around here that I didn't even realize I had not posted this weekend. It is already almost bed time, so I don't really have time to post much tonight anyway. I can tell you that though it is only the end of Monday, an hour or two ago I could have sworn it was Friday. That's not a great sign, but oh well!

The past two days (as in today and yesterday) my boys have kept me very busy and I have also done a lot of cleaning in this house. It has felt really good to get some stuff done and to do some organizing so it is easier to keep it clean in here. I keep wondering whether it is normal to feel completely exhausted but have an energy burst at the same time to get my cleaning done. I guess it is similar to being nine months pregnant, when your are physically at the end of your rope and then the nesting instinct kicks in. That never happened to me this last time around. Maybe the instinct kicked in, but there was no energy burst to allow me to apply it. So, my nesting is starting to gear up now. Better late than never, right?

Tonight I just got back from a short walk outside. I only went down the driveway (which is much longer than a city driveway and winds through the trees) and down the road a short way. My intention was to be gone only about five minutes and to get a shot of fresh air and exercise all in one. The thing is, I get pretty nervous outside in the darkness of night. I don't know which is worse: walking in the dark in the city, or walking in the dark surrounded by forest on either side. I took Radar along. He is a German Shepherd cross for anyone who didn't know. I took him on leash so he could not abandon me like a coward in the event of a run-in with any type of animal. I was still very nervous, though the moon was almost full and did a far better job of illuminating the road in front of me than my pathetic flashlight did. It was very still outside, and chilly too. I did not hear a peep except for the slight rustling of what leaves still remain on the trees. Radar did not bark or growl once, and barely even did the alert look, so that helped to ease my nerves a bit. Truly, I am a chicken and my imagination is far too active to allow me to just enjoy a night out, breathing the crisp air and the scent of fallen leaves under a beautiful full moon. As it happens, I lived to tell the tale, and without a single scary incident to justify my elevated levels of adrenaline.

Soon I will feed my sweet little baby and head to bed for the night. I have one more thing to do first and I will have to use my brain because it is an editing thing, so I must get to that before my brain shuts down completely for the night. My Mom is coming out on Wednesday and staying until the weekend, so I may be a little more scarce in here, but we'll see. For now, I am signing off. Goodnight.

Friday, October 30, 2009

H1N1 Hype

It has been a crazy week as far as stress levels go. Cody has been a real handful attitude-wise, and Jamie is always a real handful because that's the stage he is at right now. For him, it is not usually an attitude issue, but a matter of being into everything all the time.

I have been struggling with depression and apparently it has come out in this blog somewhat. I apologize if my posts have been downers recently. One of the things that has been really bothering me is this whole H1N1 issue. Anyone else? I am not interested in arguing about whether to vaccinate or not, but I will share a few thoughts that I have been having about this entire situation.

Is it just me, or is the whole world completely terrified right now? Some people are scared because of reports predicting that this flu is going to be widespread and have dire effects on the health of those who contract it. Even death, which is probably why it is so scary. Others are afraid of the vaccine because they believe it is unsafe due to insufficient testing. Still others in a more extreme camp are afraid of the vaccine because they believe it was manufactured in order to deliberately murder a significant part of the population either as population control or as genocide. There seems to be a small part of the population who are completely unconcerned either way because they believe it is all hype and nothing will go wrong or be a big deal.

I am not writing this in order to express an opinion or an argument, but I will say that the genocide fear is unfounded because the vaccine is being administered to a very diverse group of people and not targeting specific ethnic groups. The population control fear is also (in my opinion) somewhat ridiculous because if the government wanted to do that they would not target children. It makes more sense that they would administer it to seniors because they would save money on pension funds on the baby boomers for one thing. (No offense, anyone! I'm just saying if that were their motive they would target a more expensive group of people! They might also administer it in prisons!)

So, back to my original purpose for this post. It seems like whether you are for the vaccine or against it, the main drive behind people's choices is fear. I know that is not the case for everyone, but it seems pretty wide spread. I have been very stressed out about whether or not to get vaccinated and also whether to have my kids done. I have found the fear overwhelming and quite frankly all the talk about government conspiracies and the evil of vaccines combined with the bombardment of stories of young people dying of the flu has got me feeling completely drained.

The worst part of this for me is that it has triggered a deep fear in me. The fear is not about the vaccine specifically, but about failing my children. I don't know whether all moms struggle with this or not, but almost daily I feel I am failing my children in some way. Maybe I am not disciplining enough, or properly, or maybe I don't feed them healthy enough foods. Maybe I should take them outside more, or read to Jamie and Micah more than I do. What if my many shortcomings are damaging my kids? With those thoughts pummeling me on a regular basis, how could I not be upset by the choice before me? If I vaccinate my kids and they react and have permanent damage or even worse, death, it will be my fault. If I do not vaccinate my kids and they get the H1N1 flu and die, again it will be my fault. In either scenario, I have failed my children in the worst way possible. All I want to do is protect my kids to the best of my ability, and it bothers me to no end that either choice seems riddled with fear and even paranoia, and either way I am risking their lives at some level. So, conspiracy or not, this whole H1N1 thing has been a terrible source of stress for me over the last couple of weeks, and I suspect it will continue that way for a while. I just wanted to vent that out a little. I guess my greatest fear is that I will fail my children.

Anyway, I have been writing this all day and it is time to relax and watch a movie with Mike. Goodnight.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Here we go again...

Yesterday was a rough day with the boys, particularly Cody. I don't want to get into details, but I'll just say that by four o'clock, all four of us were crying. In the morning, Jamie dumped about half of a box of Cheerios on the floor in the kitchen. I avoided them for a while, feeling sick about throwing them all out. Jamie kept coming in the living room, chewing on Cheerios with a grin. Then he'd say, "Bye!" and run to the kitchen again. Then I'd hear him say, "O-E-O's! YAY!!!" and chow down some more. I vacuumed them shortly thereafter. I don't think our kitchen floor is clean enough to eat off of these days.

Today so far, Jamie is driving me nuts. At breakfast, he dumped a whole bowl of Raisin Bran on the floor. Later, I found him on the bar stool, drinking Micah's vitamin D. Most of the bottle had been dumped on the counter. I felt a little like exploding. What is safe in this house?? How can I keep anything away from this kid? He has had multiple time outs in his crib for different disobediences, mostly for going in the baby swing, which he knows he is not allowed to do. The last time, I left him in his crib for a while because I had to deal with Micah, who has been spewing out mass amounts of clear, thick liquid all morning. When I went to release Jamie from his crib, he was naked from the waist down. I said to him, "You're naked!" and he said, "Why?" I think he stole my line.

Now, as I try to write a single post on here, Jamie just fell into the rabbit cage, one hand in the shavings beside Oreo, and one hand in the litter box. His legs were sticking up out of the cage and he was crying, saying "Owie!" repeatedly. I rescued him and washed his hands. Then, Cody took it upon himself to be the parent and started pushing and shoving his brother. I told him to stop, gave him a minute to respond and when he didn't, I told him he was having a time out. He of course, yelled, "NO!" so I had to grab his hand and physically propel him down the hallway toward his room. He scratched my hand with his nails. (The same thing he did yesterday, except yesterday he made me bleed. Seriously.) I got him to his room and told him he would have to stay there until lunch time. When I returned, Jamie was on the top of the back of the La-Z-boy and proceeded to fall over backwards when he saw me. He landed on the chair, thankfully. I was so mad. I am still mad. It is only 11:38 a.m. right now, but they are both eating lunch. When it is over, I will be putting them both to bed. I cannot do this all day every day. We seem to be in one of those bad patches right now.

On that note, I guess I will have to sign off for now. Hopefully this day will improve. I hate feeling mad at my kids. It feels so gross. I am trying to protect them and teach them, but I feel like I'm failing at every turn. I think I need a day off.

P.S. I forgot to mention that Mike was able to buy that snow suit yesterday. Phew! And my horse is not sold yet, so there is still hope.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

My Day of Shopping

Things have been a little crazy around here lately. Yesterday we went to the farm in the morning and the boys got some cousin time. I then left just after 12:30 p.m. to go to town to buy a used snow suit for Jamie. It was a Columbia jacket and ski pants and was in perfect condition. I was going to get it for $40 and the girl had paid $130 brand new. So, I drove all the way to town. It was okay though, because other than the snow suit I also wanted to pick up a couple of feather pillows that were on sale for only $6.99 each. Sounds like they are cheap and terrible quality, right? Well, I bought one a few months ago when I was nine months pregnant, and I love my pillow. So, I figured it would be great to have a few on hand. I also thought maybe I could get a decent shirt or two for myself, seeing my wardrobe is pretty much on par with that of a street person at the moment. I headed for the mall. The first thing I did was try on some clothes, but I had to do it ridiculously fast because Micah was with me and he was fussing. The change room was a flurry of shirts flying on and off with my hand popping the soother in Micah's mouth between each change. Discouraged, I realized that nothing looks good on me right now. I felt like a not-so-distant cousin of the Michelin Man. I managed to get a pair of black sweat pants that are actually flattering. Imagine that. I got another pair of lounge pants. Now I can alternate those with my three pajama bottoms and my ugly lounge pants and my yoga pants. I feel like a new woman.

Next, I headed for my feathered friends. To my dismay, I discovered that the store had run out and they would be restocking them on Wednesday. Wow. Two strikes. Okay, the clothes were only a partial strike, but still a strike seeing what I really needed was a shirt. I headed next to this girl's house to get the snow suit. I arrived at 2:27 p.m. and felt a little trepidation seeing she told me she would be home between 2:30 and 4:00 p.m. It was possible that she was not home yet. So, I parked the van across from her house and called her from my cell phone. A guy answered. I assumed he was her boyfriend. Funny I did not assume he was her husband. Maybe it was because he seemed completely clued out about her. It seemed he did not understand much of what I was saying to him. Frankly, I was having a little trouble following the conversation as well. In short, he told me she was not home yet. He was aware of the snow suit, but did not want to sell it to me without her there. He said she would be home in ten minutes. I was not about to sit there on the street waiting like a stalker because I don't even know what this girl looks like, so I told him I would be back before 4 p.m. to buy the snow suit. I left and went to my workplace. That turned out to be the only positive part of my trip. I did not see many people, but it was great to see the ones that I saw. I had a nice visit there and when Micah started to fuss, around 3 p.m., I left and headed back to the house, which I was beginning to dread. I called again a couple of blocks away and wouldn't you know it, she was not home yet. It was 3:20 p.m. I was upset. I asked for her cell number. I called it. She did not answer. I left a message. She did not call back. After some debating with myself, I decided that if I did not leave town immediately, I would have to find somewhere to feed Micah and I just didn't want to deal with it. So, I left town.

It was a discouraging day, and I was amazed that someone trying to sell something would be so rude about not showing up. She knew I was coming from 40 minutes away. I went for only that purpose. (I would not have made a special trip in just for a seven dollar pillow.) I do not know whether to try calling her again or not. It may seem silly, but I really want that snow suit. It is nice, and it is exactly what I was looking for for Jamie.

Today is not good so far because my older two boys are both in terrible moods. Cody has purple puffy bags under his eyes causing me to wonder whether he even slept last night. Jamie is already back in bed because he refused rather violently to have even one bite of his breakfast. All he wants is juice. We do not give our kids much juice, but today I said they could have orange juice. I poured Jamie's but he refused to eat. I told him if he did not eat he would not get juice. (This was after he already had a bit of juice.) My bribery did not seem to work. I might try him in his high chair again. I won't tell you what I am hearing in the background right now. Suffice it to say, I am going to have to sign off soon.

On a positive note, Micah has been sleeping through the night most of the week. I know it is only Monday, but I mean for the past week or so. Last night he did get up at about 4:40 a.m., but the night before he ate at 10:20 p.m. and did not get up after that until 8:18 a.m. No fussing of any kind in between. He has been that way for several days in a row. I hope this is it. Oh, and for the record, his cloth diapers are not leaking, even in these ten hour stretches! Yay!

Okay, really have to run. A few situations to deal with. Hopefully it won't be breakfast all day for Jamie. I'm off for now.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Coming Apart at the Seams

I have something on my mind. The trouble is, I'm not sure whether to post it in here or not. I'm trying to think of a way of posting it without being too specific. My sister used to call me the Queen of Vaguity, because I had a gift for being so vague that I could discuss something with someone without them having a clue what I was talking about. Being vague has its advantages, but it is also a lot of work. So, here's my problem.

I'm feeling quite upset today. I feel a little like a zebra being devoured by two different lions. Maybe even a whole pride of lions. Mostly what I mean is, it feels like some of the lions are tearing me in one direction, and the others are pulling the opposite way. All in all, it makes for a very unpleasant sensation. It is difficult for a zebra to think or make a coherent choice when her limbs are being torn off one by one. I suppose the average zebra would be dead by the time their situation reached this point, but in this case, the zebra is just getting very angry. Even without her limbs she just might decide to hog tie all the lions with her tail, or head butt them when they are least expecting it. A zebra with no limbs is not terribly mobile, nor pleasant to look at, but at least then the lions might leave her alone. Perhaps she will just die out in the desert, or maybe she'll learn to roll and make it all the way to a watering hole. As long as she does not fall in, she might be okay. In the end, it looks as though the lions have seen her vulnerability and proven her to be completely useless. Once again she realizes that she is stuck between a herd of black horses and white horses, and she can't seem to belong in either herd. Where are the rest of the zebras?

Okay, I have to sign off for now. Sorry about my weird outburst. It was extremely controlled in the interest of common courtesy. I am clearly a plain-bellied sneetch. Bye for now.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Friday night and dateless, as usual.

It has been a busy week. I confess, I do not even remember yesterday. Did I go out? Did I stay home? I don't remember. The latter seems more likely. My day today was busy too. A play date that had us out of the house from 10:10 a.m. until 4:30 p.m. The boys had fun, but Jamie was a real grump by the time we got home. Cody was a little overtired too. We put them to bed early. They were tucked in and settled before 7 p.m., so that was good. It was necessary.

I'm glad it's Friday, but truthfully, I don't really know why. All I am doing is waiting around for hockey to end. I am really rather depressed about it. I kind of wish I were somewhere else, but alas, that is impossible. I don't think I better continue this post. I am too sad at the moment. Perhaps I'll attempt tomorrow. For the record, Micah slept through the night a second time on Wednesday night, but last night he was up at 4 a.m. That was the only time he was up, so it wouldn't have been bad if I had been able to sleep earlier. I was awake past 1 a.m. and Cody was up at that time too, so when I got up at 7:30 this morning I had the shakes. Now I just want to have a fun Friday night, but all it has consisted of so far is the NHL. I hate the NHL.

Like I said, I better end this here. I'll try to post something more uplifting this weekend. Goodnight.