Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Boys + Pets = Very Big Mess

It turns out that my almost three year old has found himself a new source of entertainment. He has developed over the last few days an Oreo obsession. No, not the cookies...our rabbit. He has taken it upon himself to put the dog outside whenever he feels like it, and then hauling Oreo out of his cage and dragging him around to do his bidding. Rabbits are a somewhat expressionless bunch, so it is very difficult to tell by looking at his face whether the attention is pure bliss to him, or whether he is on the verge of dropping dead from sheer terror. I have begun to assume that he mostly enjoys his times with Cody, as life-threatening as some of them are. He does not struggle when Cody carries him around, and somehow does not seem to run away when he has the opportunity.

This morning as I was laying in bed trying against all odds to sleep later than 7:20 a.m. (which actually feels like 6:20 a.m. because of the time change on the weekend), Cody kept asking me to help him let Radar out. I said to go ahead and do it, though I dreaded the barking that would doubtless occur as soon as Radar's nose hit the great outdoors. Still, Cody kept coming back and asking for help. I ignored him. A while later, he came back to my room carrying a whole package of Raisin Bran, minus the actual box, and asked me to open it, informing me that he and Oreo were hungry. Naively, I pictured him sitting outside of Oreo's cage, feeding cereal to him through the bars. I seem to have a slow learning curve. I got dressed and followed Cody to the living room, and took the cereal from him. He told me that he and Oreo wanted raisins, and then ran to the couch. I informed him that rabbits do not eat raisins, and then I became suspicious. It is not unusual for our couch to be in total disarray because Cody is forever hiding in the cushions, and removing them or otherwise rearranging them. However, the way he hopped in behind the cushions and looked down in the crevice beside him caused me to glance over at Oreo's cage. Empty. Well of course it was, what was I thinking??? I came closer to the couch, and Oreo's furry little black and white head poked over the top of the cushion beside Cody. I had to admit, it was very cute, but the couch was not as dark navy as normal and had a texture closer to angora than I would have liked. It looked almost as though Santa had spontaneously shaved his beard right in our living room.

So, I put Oreo back in his cage and got my boys settled at the table for breakfast. As they ate, I went to Cody's room to get his cup, and I stopped short when I saw his bed. Yes, it was messy, with the covers thrown all over the place, but that is to be expected, right? The problem was, as I approached closer, I saw clumps of fur, and little round rabbit turds distributed throughout his sheets. I then noticed a similar pattern on the floor. As I walked back to the living room I then noticed the details that had escaped me earlier when I was focused solely on the couch. Yep, there was rabbit evidence all over the place...hair, and turds. Just to clarify, Oreo IS litter-trained, so this evidence disproved my earlier theory about him not being scared out of his wits. Either way, I had a bit of a mess to clean up. Luckily, rabbit poop is extremely easy to clean up, and I got it all with the vacuum in a matter of minutes. I wish I could say the same for the two piles of cat barf I found, also in the living room.

Ah, life with pets. Well, pets and kids. The other day, Cody came flying into the living room making horrible retching sounds like he was on the verge of barfing, and when I asked him what was wrong he told me, "I licked Radar." How do I respond to that??

As for my other "wifely duties" around here, apparently I am failing quite thoroughly. I have been behind on cleaning the kitchen the last few days, but from Saturday through to the end of Monday I had horrible headaches, some of them migraines, so I was pretty much useless. Mike did some cleaning for me yesterday, and I apologized, saying that as far as kitchen cleaning goes, I had only been making my minimum payments lately. He smirked and informed me that he didn't think I had even made the minimum. I defended myself, pointing out that there was always a clean load in the dishwasher, so never had we run out of dishes and gone completely "bankrupt" in the kitchen. He conceded reluctantly. I am not proud of my house-cleaning skills, habits, or track record. The other day I pulled out the vacuum and told Cody, "I'm just going to vacuum for a minute here." He said enthusiastically, "Oh! Who's coming over?" That about sums it up for me.

So, I guess this desperate house-mom is signing out for now. Maybe I'll get it together one of these days.

No comments: