Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Downer today.

We have made it to Wednesday, which means we are almost halfway through the week. Today has been all right so far. Both boys woke up at 6:20 a.m. so that was not cool. Jamie went back to sleep for an hour or so, but Cody did not. Hm. By 7:30 a.m. I heard Cody say from the kitchen, "I'm soaked. I need to use the potty." And so begins another day. Sure enough, he had peed his pants, which is very rare for him, by the way. Unfortunately, he has not learned to just go to the bathroom when he has to go, so if no one asks him or forces him to go, he simply won't. That's the one part of the potty-training thing that he has not got down.

So I figured it would be a good day to do the boys' laundry. I guess I blew that one, because Jamie had a major poop blow-out during his nap. I mean right out of his clothes and everything. The laundry was already done, so I guess it will be round two. I think we might have a bit of a bug here. Jamie was not happy during breakfast either and all he ate was half of a bun with butter and jam on it, and a handful of cheerios. (I'm not really feeling so hot either, for that matter.) He is eating goldfish now, sitting on the floor beside his brother watching Go Diego Go!. It's quite cute. Jamie is in Cody's plush chair, and Cody is on the floor beside him. They are so adorable.

I thought we were all going to nap this morning. I put us all down at about 9:30 a.m. and Jamie went right to sleep. Cody was quiet, so I thought the miraculous had happened and he was sleeping. I was about to put down my book and go to sleep, but then Cody came in my room. He never slept, but he did have a nice quiet time, so I did too. It was not sleep, but it was quiet, and that is priceless around here.

I am a touch depressed today. I think it's because I am feeling extra isolated right now. I had tentative plans for the day, but they fell through, and I guess I started reflecting on friendship and how it is affected by marriage, and subsequently by parenthood. I hate the feeling of "not having a life" just because I am a mom. Right now I feel like I have absolutely nobody to talk to. Everyone else is too busy to talk or to get together, and that leaves me here with these two. They are great company, but not the best conversationalists. Well, Cody can certainly carry on an extensive conversation, but it is not really the same as someone that I can share my feelings with or confide in. I guess this is to be a lonely season in life. Don't get me wrong. I know it is worth it. It's just that today I am feeling down, and somewhat tired of being the only one who feels a need to be with other grown-ups. I feel like a pest now when I call people. Man, I need a nap!!! I better sign off for now. If I weren't so tired I think I would go to town. I have an important errand that needs to be run, but I don't know whether I should go all the way to Brandon for that. Guess we'll see how the afternoon goes. Bye for now.

3 comments:

Denise said...

CAT, I wish you lived in Ontario and not Manitoba.
I had only one child, partly because that was all I could cope with but also infertility issues. I had major post-natal depression (but not psychosis), could not cope, felt I would never have a normal life again, was short of money etc.
He also never slept thru the night until he was six!!
Well now he is 21 and one in 7 billion. I still have a hard life but he is the best and most amazing part of it.
What I found helped was someone just taking him for a few hours and also I went to a phsychologist and was on anti-depressants.
I have been very honest with him about how I couldn't cope and he has been so supportive. Says I've been the best mother and always put him first and he never knew things were bad cos I made it seem OK. Sometimes we just have to wait a long time for payback!
And something else that helped me was reading that some people are good with babies; some with toddlers; some with teenagers. I just wasn't good with babies (although I love them dearly but 24/7 crying will drive anyone mad).
GOOD LUCK.

nancyvsont said...

sniff, sniff...you're breaking my heart! I have been there, done that. Curling up in bed with them is sometimes the very best way to handle being overwhelmed, overworked, under communicated with. I used to feel I had oatmeal brain (diaper brain at times) Like my head was empty from not talking to real people with deep thoughts. I loved my babies, but there were times when I was very lonely and depressed. The house was always a disaster. I was a disaster. Take heart, it's normal!

I used to dress them in daytime clothes after their bath so I woudln't have to dress them in the morning. It saved a lot of work, I must say.

I remember having sick kids, all the laundry. plus the odd parasite they brought home from school. Tons of laundry, then.

Just tie a knot and hold on. Some people watch my videos with their children...they come running when they hear Nancy! Isn't that sweet. Anyway, they are at www.youtube.com/nancytoday.

And it came to pass, it never came to stay. I'll be your friend!

Love,
Nancy

CAT said...

Denise, thanks for your encouragement. It sounds like your son is just wonderful, and it sounds like you are a great Mom. We all have our short-comings, but I guess we just love our kids and get through it the best we can! I have never considered myself a "baby person" either, but I do love my own babies!!! I am not where you are at yet, but even though this season is tough I consider myself very blessed to be able to stay home with my babies for the first several years of their lives.

Nancy, you sound like me with the disaster house and the disaster self...etc. For me, it's peanut butter brain, because there is always peanut butter being spread around here. Sometimes I worry that if someone with nut allergies set foot in my house they would drop dead on the spot! That is hilarious that you put them in daytime clothes after their baths! Maybe I should try that! Jamie never made it into daytime clothes yesterday. Heck, sometimes I don't even make it into daytime clothes myself!!! I will have to check out your videos! Thanks for the encouragement, ladies!