Friday, May 8, 2009

Genuinely sad baby, or manipulation??

My nerves are officially shot. Last night, Jamie woke up bawling at 1 a.m. I was not too thrilled with this development, but I went to check him and he didn't even have so much as a wet diaper. At that point I was pretty sure I was in trouble. I gave him tylenol, for lack of any other ideas, and went back to bed. This hurt his feelings excruciatingly. He cried loudly and emphatically for an hour. I did not go back into his room because I was beginning to get the distinct feeling that I was being manipulated. What else do you call it when a 16 month old is perfectly happy when you are holding him, but as soon as he is back in his crib he is devastated? Obviously it can't be a pain issue, as that would not be alleviated by me holding him. He couldn't have been hungry or thirsty because again, that would not change if I were holding him. The only thing that I could come up with was that perhaps he was cold and when I held him he felt warm. I didn't know what to do about it though. Sounds dumb, I guess, but he is still too young to sleep with a blanket. He sleeps in a sleeper or pajamas with a fleece sleep sack over top. Is this enough? It always has been before, but recently I have wondered. Cody sleeps with two quilts, a sheet and two fleece blankets. Oh, and a baby quilt too. We have two, no three quilts on our bed right now. So, is one little fleece sleep sack enough for Jamie? I just don't know. It was for Cody. It always was for Jamie before too.

All day I felt like the walking dead and I had to nap again this afternoon. In truth, I feel ill from fatigue. I don't know whether that is from my rough nights this week, from being pregnant, or if I am simply fighting something. We did not put Jamie to bed until after 8 p.m. tonight as he slept most of the afternoon today. (He missed his morning nap.) But guess what? As soon as he knew we were getting ready to put him to bed he freaked out and started wailing again. By the time we put Cody to bed, I was crying because I did not know how much more of Jamie's bawling I could take. I currently have ear phones in, but fortunately, he did stop after about half an hour and is sleeping now. That is little comfort though, because I have a strong feeling that he is going to do the same thing tonight. We put him in a onesie and a sleeper and put socks on him, all under his long-sleeved fleece sleep sack. I hope that will help. I also gave him water in his bed. Still, he seemed mostly hurt that we put him to bed. He just wanted me to stand there and hug him. Well guess what?? I can't do that all night every night!!!!!!!! What am I supposed to do when this baby comes? And somehow, we are supposed to be moving Jamie into Cody's room in the next week or so. I am not ready for this. How are we going to do this?? None of us are going to get any sleep at all. This is beyond my ability to handle. I am hoping that a few days of crying it off will cure Jamie. I know there are some people who don't believe in crying it out because it seems cruel. Honestly, I feel like a huge meanie doing it, but I really think that if I go in there every time, he will get exactly what he wants and he will continue to cry. I cannot do that.

That's all I have to say for now. I am burnt. I need to do something mindless for a while. I will probably not do an entry tomorrow because I'm going away for the day. (Thank goodness.) If I'm back early enough, maybe I will. Goodnight.

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