Saturday, July 11, 2009

Please come tomorrow!

Okay, I really think this baby needs to get out of here. My nerves are shot. I am so annoyed by everything right now that I was in tears at the supper table because of all of Cody's annoying noises and tics and extreme slowness in eating his meal. I slept for a good chunk of the afternoon today, but apparently it did nothing to make me less frazzled. A little less tired, maybe. So, tonight I am going to have a good sleep, and tomorrow morning I am going to be in labour. That is the official word. This baby needs to come out. I am enjoying being pregnant, really I am. But I am just...I don't know. I guess the grass is always greener on the other side. I mean, right now I am so exhausted that I can hardly stand the thought of waiting much longer for this baby. But in reality, I will probably be way more exhausted once the baby is born. Still, I have decided that tomorrow is officially the best day to have the baby. Late afternoon would be good. I don't really want to have it on Monday because it is the 13th. Okay, I am not superstitious. It is not the number 13 itself. It's the combination. July 13th. I don't know, it just doesn't thrill me. The 12th or the 14th are okay. But let's face it, the 14th is my due date, and nobody has their baby on their due date. So, the 12th it is. That is tomorrow. Welcome, baby! Please come.

Last night I had another baby boy dream. Yep. Two nights in a row now. Last night I had a c-section without even knowing it. I thought I had pushed the baby out and even commented on how easy it was. Then I found out I actually had a c-section. Weird. Anyway, it was a boy and we named him Jaylen. Okay. No, not Jayden, the ever popular name rhyming with all of the other popular boy names right now...Aiden, Braden, Caden, Hayden...etc. This was Jaylen. Well, I've never heard of that name before, but even if I have a boy I will not name him that. I already have a Jamie, plus everyone would probably think I just misspelled Jayden. Anyway, funny that I would have another boy dream. Betcha tonight I do it again. If I sleep. Maybe I'll have contractions all night. Hard to say. Doubt it.

The unfortunate thing is that I am so out of touch with reality that I really believe I am going to have this baby tomorrow, because I want to so badly. Not that I am looking forward to the labour and delivery part. That actually scares the crap out of me. However, it is obviously necessary in order to be able to meet my baby. Then I can find out for once and for all if it is a boy or a girl and I can name him or her and really begin to bond. The funny thing is, just a couple of weeks ago I was positive that I would be a week overdue. Now the thought of that nearly sends me into despair. Well, everything feels pretty exaggerated right now, so I might be slightly overreacting. But, Mike's holidays are ticking away. Every day that we don't have the baby is another day lost to him, in a sense, and another day that I don't have him here to help me. I don't know. This is just the rant of a very pregnant woman who can't imagine this lasting much longer, even though I don't even know exactly what the problem is. I think it is just the suspense and the desire to meet my baby face to face finally. I don't know. It is also the stress of trying to figure out who to call and what to do when the baby comes. Tomorrow is ideal because my parents are already here.

Okay, I'm just going in circles here. I better sign off, I guess.

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