Sunday, July 26, 2009

Twelve.

Well, it's Sunday and I am 12 days overdue. My baby is not interested in meeting me. I think I will probably cry all day. I just asked Mike what he wanted to do today and he laughed at me and told me that all we can do today is wait around. Great. That's just what I need to help speed the time by. Very helpful. So, I can lay in my bed all day? That's what I'm going to do? The summer is half over. I have done nothing fun. My boys have done almost nothing fun. This is incredibly depressing. I don't care if other people think "it can't be much longer". It doesn't matter. Every minute of this feels like absolute agony. I just can't do this anymore. By the time this baby comes out it will be August. My sister in law, who is due 4 weeks after me, will probably have her baby before I have mine. She'll have a July baby, and I'll have an August one. I feel totally trapped in this house and I feel terribly angry now too. I had a dream last night that was work-related, but by the end of the dream I was so furious that I took a pitcher full of ice water and smashed it violently on the floor. I think that is indicative of my intense desire for my water to break. Seriously. I'm no Freud fan, but I really believe that is why I dreamed that. I bet I'll have to go to my doctor's appointment on Tuesday, at 14 days overdue. If I do, I really will cry through the whole appointment. This really sucks. I don't have much else to say at this point. I am not happy and whatever comes out right now will be very negative.

1 comment:

Jim said...

Since you haven't updated since Sunday, I'm really hoping that is cuz you are in hospital right now. But if not, I will not say "it will be soon" nor will I say "you'll be fine", I'll just say.......uhmmmmm......kaysir-ah! Sorry, know words of wisdom. We love you guys. God bless. This baby will be perfect and in the meantime, I pray God gives you some physical comfort! Tara