Thursday, August 27, 2009

The Biggest Loser

There is a new biggest loser in town, and it has nothing to do with weight loss. Other candidates need not apply. I already have this one down. I can't tell you the number of ways that label applies to me right now. Yesterday around 4:00 p.m. or so I realized that I had forgotten to do my eye drops and I was about 2 1/2 hours late. I am on an every three hour schedule now, so I had basically skipped an entire dose. Some of you may think that's not a big deal. You are wrong. These are steroid eye drops and if you suddenly stop taking them, you can permanently damage your eyes. I was mad at myself, but I went to my room immediately to do my drops so it would be okay, right? Wrong. My drops were not there. I kind of freaked out. I have been doing my eye drops sitting on the edge of my bed, so they are always sitting on my night table right beside my bed. They were not there. I thought maybe they fell into my garbage can. They were not there. I thought maybe they fell on the floor. They were not there either. I started to panic. I wondered whether I had brought them to the living room or the kitchen so I came and checked. They were not there. I started to look under and on top of everything in sight. No eye drops. I found my two old bottles, which are both smaller than the current one. They are also empty. Desperate, I tried using them to hold me over. There was one drop in the first bottle. My left eye was done. Then I got a drop out of the other bottle. Now it was 4:30 p.m. and both of my eyes were okay for the time being, but what the heck was I supposed to do for my next dose??

Mike and I both started searching every room in the house. It was clear by this point that the eye drops had been taken, not just misplaced. I knew the culprit had to be Jamie, though we did entertain thoughts that one of the cats may have taken them. Seriously, they do that sort of thing. That meant they could be anywhere. I looked through laundry baskets and the dryer. We searched our room including under the bed, in the bed, in the closet, in drawers...You get the picture. I searched the closets in both bathrooms. We looked in the baby room. Mike went downstairs and searched in case they had been thrown down by Jamie, or carried down by a cat. Nothing. I looked through every drawer in the boys' room. Nothing. Mike raked his fingers through the shavings in Oreo's cage. (Things have been known to disappear in there quite frequently.) Still nothing. I was upset. I was planning to go into town to buy a new bottle. That one had cost over $30 and it was the non name brand. It was the last one available. If they did not have any more, I would have to pay DOUBLE that for a name brand one. Great. I was really upset.

I prayed and prayed, as I always do when something is lost. I got the idea to look in the bathrooms because Jamie had appeared earlier with a shower puff that he played with all day. I did not know where it came from, but it led me to search all bathroom cupboards, drawers and closets. Still nothing. I was so frustrated. I was about fifteen minutes away from getting into the van and driving to town when I did another sweep of the boys' room. Then I noticed something I had not seen before. Just to set the stage here a bit, the boys had clothes on their floor, and Cody's bedding had also been dragged off, so there were clothes, bedding, toys and books all over their floor. It looks like this every day, even shortly after being cleaned. That is why I had not previously noticed that the packaged of toilet paper from my bathroom was laying on the floor in there. I picked it up and looked inside. There, amongst several rolls of toilet paper, were my eye drops. Phew. I could not believe it.

So, I was spared that time, and I was both relieved and thankful, and okay, maybe a little bit amused. That Jamie is a crazy one! If only that were the end of my loser problems. This next issue is somewhat embarrassing, but I am so mad about it that I just have to write it out. Last night I fed Micah for the final pre-bedtime feeding at 10:40 p.m. Mike and I were watching TV at the time. We went to bed at about 11:30 p.m. and we were both finally settled in bed and Micah sleeping soundly in the cradle beside me when I realized that I was missing one of my Lilypadz. I believe I described those in a previous entry. Okay, so I turned the light on and looked on the floor. It was not there. What the heck? I had it when I last fed Micah, so it had to be somewhere between my room and the living room. The search was on. Again. Well, I searched and searched. So did Mike. We did not find it. I still can't find it, even in the light of a new day. I am so angry. How could I lose something like that?? Okay, so it is basically invisible, because it is clear, but still! Now I wonder again if a cat stole it. But it isn't as though a cat took it off of me. Seriously. Those things stick to me like band aids. How could one just disappear? I feel like such a major loser.

So today, I have company coming and I have to do major cleaning in preparation. Cody is fighting me on every tiny detail. I feel like a loser of a mother there too. Seriously, if he has zero respect for me, it is obvious that I am doing something wrong. I don't know what it is, so I can't fix it. It is depressing, and I also find it humiliating. Add to that the fact that I have no decent clothes to wear, (just maternity clothes, which is somewhat humiliating too) and I am wearing one unnoticeable Lilypad and one thick lumpy disposable breast pad, and I am feeling exceptionally ugly...

That's where I'm at today. Jamie is in bed already, against my better judgment. He was so tired and grouchy and when I asked him if he wanted to go to bed he said yes. Well, yes in Jamie language, which is more of an enthusiastic and higher pitched "Heh?" So, he is sleeping. Cody has already been outside in his pajamas with no shoes or socks on. He told me Mike fed them breakfast, and there was some evidence to that effect, but now I don't even know whether he did or not. I gave them a snack, but what if they are starving? Mike is not answering the cell phone, so I can't know for sure.

And now I'm sitting on my butt blogging when all of my boys are occupied. I have to go clean now. Oh, and now Micah is stirring. Fantastic. I missed my only opportunity to prepare for our company tonight. Biggest loser anyone? Sorry. I'm just so frustrated that I keep losing things. Expensive things that I need. I'll update if I find the elusive Lilypad. I'm off to clean as much as I can before all you-know-what breaks loose once again in this place.

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