Sunday, August 23, 2009

A Mommy Milestone

This morning, Cody came in the house calling for me and saying, "Mom, I need a needle!". I had no idea what he meant by that, but I could tell that Mike had sent him in the house so there must have been something I was supposed to give him. I had Micah at the time, as I had just finished feeding him. I also had stuff on the stove, but fortunately I had already turned it off. Cody came into my room, covered in sand and dirt. Yes, I do mean covered. He had actual grains of sand in a large patch by the side of his mouth, and his arms were blackened as though he had rubbed charcoal on them. His legs were too. He came up to me holding his hand out and said "I need a needle". He pointed to his finger and then I saw the problem. He had slivers! Three of them in one finger, obviously from his new play structure. So, I was presented with a mommy challenge that I have never faced before.

I told him to go into the bathroom and wash his hands and face really well and I would be with him in a few minutes. I put Micah down and began searching for my sewing pins. I could not find them. I then decided to look in my sewing machine case and use a needle instead. I could not find my sewing machine. I suppose that sounds odd, but my machine does not have a table that I keep it on. It is in a case, and I have had it stashed in the laundry room. It was not there. Great. By this time, Cody was calling for me and Micah was fully hysterical, and I still had no pins or needles. I then stuck my head out the kitchen door and asked Mike to come in and help me. He informed me that my sewing machine was in the basement. Somehow, that bothered me, but since getting my machine I have never actually sewn with it. It is not for lack of interest. I would love to start sewing. I just don't remember how, plus I have no fabric or patterns.

Anyway, I returned to my room and did find the wayward pins so I grabbed them and went to the bathroom with Cody. I informed him that this was going to hurt a little bit. That may have been a poor strategy on my part. He immediately began to whimper. I showed him the pins, the kind with the colored round heads on them, and asked him which color he would like me to use. He chose yellow. So, I pulled out a yellow pin and asked him to give me his hand. He did, but his arm was bent and he was pulling away from me so I could barely look at his finger. I finally told him that if he moved around it would hurt but if he held still it would not be bad. That seemed to help. I poked at sliver number one for a while, Cody flinching and whimpering the whole time. When I got it loose I told him I was going for my tweezers to pull it out. I went and retrieved them and returned to my poor child. He looked at me with tears in his eyes and in a very pathetic voice said, "But I don't want you to use the squeezers on my finger!" I could not help but laugh. I kept telling him to trust me, and I finally pulled the first sliver out of his fingers with the "squeezers" and showed it to him. At that point in time, the process became less scary for him and somewhat cool. He said, "That hurt a little bit". In other words, it wasn't that bad. So, we repeated the process for about seven slivers until I deemed him to be sliver-free. Then I washed his hands again, twice, and sent him on his merry way.

I know it's silly, but somehow I felt like it was some kind of mom milestone or something. I remember having slivers taken out of my hands as a child, though in my case it was always my Dad who did it. He would pull out his pocket knife, you know, one of those little red ones, and he had this tiny pair of tweezers that were part of it. I don't think he used the blade of the knife. I'm pretty sure he used one of my mom's needles. Anyway, not sure whether that should be considered a fond memory or not, seeing it was painful, but there is something about a parent comforting you or even fixing it when you are in pain.

Anyway, now I am in my room, wondering whether I have a migraine coming on, and wanting to nap. The only thing is, I am due in 35 minutes for my next eye drops, so I feel like I should wait. I am very tired, and need the extra sleep, but not sure whether I should do it or not. I am discouraged because tomorrow will be Mike's last full day of holidays. I know I've had lots of time with him, but part of me is depressed because we did not do anything "holiday-ish", and the other part of me is just terrified to be on my own from now on. I literally do not feel capable of doing this. I hope Micah starts sleeping longer soon. Once he does, I will feel more human again. I hope soon I will look more human again. I am feeling very ugly these days. To top that off, there was an unfortunate laundry accident that pretty much made my only decent shirt unwearable. The first several months after birth are always very hard on my self-esteem. No wonder I am sick.

Okay, I better sign off now. I can at least lay down with my book and do my eye drops when the time comes. Then maybe I can sneak in a nap before Jamie or Micah wake up. Mike is outside with Cody so I don't have back-up in here. I'm off.

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