Thursday, October 8, 2009

Hopefully we're settled for the night...

I'm home alone with the boys, and they are all settled for the night...mostly. Micah is in his cradle, staring at me, sucking on his soother contentedly. He will very likely settle without a fuss in the next ten minutes, or even sooner. Last night he slept all night. I mean, I fed him at 11 p.m. and he did not eat again (or wake up) until 8 a.m. Wow. I was so thrilled. I am hoping for a repeat performance tonight, but I guess time will tell.

For now, I am feeling lonely and I am reminded of the time when Jamie was just about exactly this age and Mike went away for six days. Jamie slept in my bed with me, all sweet and adorable. Actually, he may have been younger than this...I can't remember for sure. I'd have to go back and check in my journal and my other blog. Anyway, this is the first time I have settled Micah for the night without Mike here. I know it is not a big deal, but I feel lonely. After I fed him, I was going to check his diaper and then swaddle him and put him down, but when I disturbed him to move him he got the biggest, saddest pout on his adorable face, and it made me cry. How pathetic is that? I couldn't help it though. It was like I had made him so terribly sad, and I couldn't bear the thought.

Hm. He is thrashing around a bit in his cradle. Not sure what that means. Hopefully it's his last few kicks before getting really comfortable and sleeping through the night. Maybe he shouldn't be swaddled anymore...he is ten and a half weeks old. I never swaddled either of my other two babies this long. Cody was impossible to swaddle because he was too darn active. Hm. Micah doesn't usually get so agitated in his cradle. Maybe I should check his diaper one last time...I don't know. Why do I still feel like I am always guessing on what to do with my kids. This is the third one in three years and still I don't know what I am doing.

Anyway, I think I'll sign off because I have some other things I want to do before I turn off the light. I really, really hope Micah is going to settle now, but it is not really looking all that promising at the moment. I will probably post tomorrow, and after that I will be away for a couple of days for thanksgiving. Ironically, I am dreading thanksgiving. I will not get into that in here. I will likely not have internet access where I am going, but I am not totally sure of that. So, on that note, goodnight.

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