Thursday, November 26, 2009

A Good Day

I have always believed that some women are truly cut out to be housewives and stay-at-home moms. Then there are those who are born career women. I don't know that I fall neatly into either category. I don't miss going to work at this point in time, but often I feel like I'm not doing the greatest job at home either. This week has been very positive for me because I feel like I am finally getting my groove as far as being a housewife goes. I'm not saying I'm good at it, but today as I flew around the house checking laundry, preparing food for the boys, doing dishes and just cleaning up in general I really felt like this is a job that I can enjoy. There is great satisfaction in actually keeping up with the work around here, though I don't often manage to stay right on top of things. I am getting some energy back and it feels good. I hope it will continue.

Today I went outside with the boys again, minus Micah, who was sleeping, and we played soccer, baseball and football. Okay, Jamie threw and kicked a football around while Cody and I played keep away with a soccer ball. Later I pitched for Cody with our ball which is crumpled beyond recognition by Radar, but Cody can actually hit the ball with the bat. As we played out in the yard I thought about my house full of boys and realized that I can still participate in their activities and play with them. I'm not exactly a girlie-girl, but I'm not really a jock either. (Hm. Another area where I don't fit neatly into either category...) I love my boys to pieces, but there has been a part of me that has wondered whether I am missing out by not having a girl too. I have feared missing out on bonding and mostly on being left alone later in life. However, I have a special relationship with my boys and I just have to choose to be involved with them even if we may not have everything in common. As it turns out, Jamie went crazy over the horse he rode recently, so maybe he will ride with me if we ever get one. The bottom line is, there is nothing to stop me from bonding with my kids just because they are not the same gender as me. I know that sounds obvious, but I've been afraid that they would not want to hang out with me the way a girl might. The more my boys grow, the more I am seeing what people mean when they talk about the special relationship that boys have with their mothers. So, I am very thankful for all of my boys...even when they drive me crazy!

Speaking of crazy, the morning was a wild one. Cody and Jamie played very well together all morning. That is to say, they did not fight much. However, they both got wounded repeatedly including a bloody lip on Cody and a bloody toe on Jamie. The two incidents were separate, thank goodness! Haha. I don't even know what happened. I think they bonked heads when Cody's lip got split. I don't know what Jamie did to his toe. I was too busy running around cleaning the kitchen, doing laundry, cleaning the living room and trying to entertain Micah. In the afternoon Cody did a workout with me again, this one a half hour resistance workout. Finally something I will be feeling tomorrow. It was a Turbo Jam workout, for anyone who has heard of it. Very fun, nice and challenging. Okay, for me right now it is VERY challenging. I hope to get back to a place where I purposely increased the difficulty to make it challenging. I'm a long way from there right now. I miss those days.

Anyway, my final load of laundry just stopped in the dryer and Micah is bored, so I better go. I will be busy tomorrow packing for our weekend. We have a Christmas thing with the extended family. It should be fun. I hope the boys will not be too tired to enjoy it. Oops, now Micah is really ticked! I'm off!

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

A Sad Bunny Story

Interesting day so far. As usual, the morning was rough with Cody. I'm not sure why mornings are frequently bad for him, but they are. It was so bad that after lunch I put all three boys to bed. That is a rare occurrence indeed! Cody didn't sleep, which is probably good, but he did stay in there for a while. I took that opportunity to do another workout. Wow. That's three days in a row. It was only fifteen minutes, but I needed to shower before Micah needed me again. Ironically, he is still sleeping so I could have done a longer one, but that's okay. It is always a gamble to try a longer workout with a baby around.

After my shower you can imagine my delight when I discovered that our latest item to go missing is my hair brush. Don't I have another hair brush? Why yes, yes I do. It is also missing. As it turns out, both of my combs are gone as well. Make that all three. Now I know Jamie is really into his hair and often hauls brushes or combs around, but I always get them back into my bathroom. I guess I am not on the ball this time. It is probably in his room or Micah's, but seeing they are both sleeping I am not going in there.

I was also horrified after my workout when I glanced out the window and saw Radar, (our German Shepherd cross) trotting proudly around the house with a white rabbit dangling limply out of his mouth. I could not believe it. I've seen him chase rabbits through the bush before, but I honestly didn't think he could catch one. It's kind of disturbing seeing we have a rabbit that lives in the kitchen where Radar sleeps at night. I was very sad to see it. I don't like to see animals die, but it's even worse when they are really cute ones like rabbits. It was sort of amusing to see how proud he was of himself as he carted the rabbit around, but it is sad all the same.

It is hours later now and the rabbit is still laying in our yard. I had a feeling he wouldn't eat it. So that rabbit went to waste. Maybe he found it already dead. Do dogs kill for sport? I don't really know. It was a good lesson for Cody about death. Anyway, I have to sign off now because it is 8:34 p.m. and I want to spend some time with Mike before this day is completely over!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Workouts and relaxation

I don't know that I'd call today quiet, but it is going all right. The morning was difficult as I was butting heads with Cody all morning. I had to fly out of my bed when I heard a loud bang and then hysterical crying from Jamie. He had hit his chin on the night table in their room, though I found out a little later that Cody had pushed him into it. His chin is now purple and a bit puffy. Poor kid. While I was in there I discovered a whole bag of Lays dill pickle chips on Cody's bed, crumbs everywhere. I wish him all the best when he tries to sleep in that later tonight. Haha.

This afternoon, Cody and I did a workout together, which was productive, yet amusing. He is much like his dad when he tries to do aerobic moves. This is the second day in a row we have done a workout together, so maybe I have myself a little partner here. I hope so. I need someone to keep me on track. Micah watched us from his swing and later from his exersaucer. He was probably studying our graceful moves for future use. Now he is laying on the floor complaining. I'm not sure what the problem is, but I think he may need to go back to bed. He has been up for two hours now, so it is probably time for a short nap. Maybe I'll just cuddle him for a while.

I am being a bit of a slacker today as far as housework goes. I haven't done any. Well, I have laundry going, and I have prepared meals for the boys, but I have not done any dishes or any other type of cleaning. For some reason I am extra tired today. Micah slept through last night for the first time in five days, and it was great, but for some reason I am feeling drained today. That's okay though. It is relatively clean in here so today will be a more relaxing day for me. I'm trying to avoid the kitchen because I want to stay away from any unnecessary temptations in there. I've decided it is time to get back in shape for real. I don't know how on earth I am going to do it, but I just have to do something. I have lost eight pounds in the last two months, but that is very slow, especially considering how far I have to go. Maybe I'll report my progress in here now and again.

Anyway, Micah's complaints are getting very adamant, so I must rescue him from the floor. Bye for now.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Peace and quiet? Wow.

It has been a relatively uneventful Monday so far. Right now Jamie is sleeping and Cody is watching a bit of TV. He was outside for a while, which is good, but wanted to come in for a while. Micah is in his swing, chewing on a rattle happily between huge pukes. I thought this might be my only opportunity to blog a bit. Ironically, there is not a huge amount to say...probably because the day has been so uneventful. I don't mind though. I have a very clean kitchen and a mostly clean living room which is very inspiring. It makes me more excited about doing housework. Even my laundry room is quite clean right now so doing laundry feels more fun.

Micah is squawking at me from his swing with a smile on his precious face. I do mean squawking. I think he has a cold and his voice sounds very scratchy. We did not have a good night last night. Ironically, last night between 6:30 and midnight I fed him four times but today since 8:30 this morning I have only fed him three times. He is not doing well at night recently and I'm pretty sure it's because his little throat is sore. Last night we finally decided to let him cry it out a bit after trying Tylenol, nursing, changing a wet diaper, changing wet clothes...etc. It took thirteen long minutes, but he finally settled himself. I never had to let my other two boys cry that long. I know, I know. That's nothing, right? Well, it feels like something. I'm not one to let a young baby cry and cry, but seriously it came to the point last night where it was either that or I'd have to hold him all night. I couldn't do that knowing I'd be alone all day today with Mike at work. I hope tonight is better. Now he is rubbing his eyes, so it looks like he's ready for another nap now. Woo hoo! That means I'll be down to one boy for a while, which may give me an opportunity to do some homework.

Other than my usual daily routines, the only thing on my brain is horses. Yes, that's right. I am like a twelve-year-old girl who desperately wants a pony for her birthday. I don't know whether I'll ever get one, but for now I can dream.

I better go. It is silent in the house again. Cody is up, but the other two are sleeping. Cody and I just did a couple of laps up and down the driveway and then did a workout with my virtual personal trainer, Maya. She didn't say anything about how long it has been since she has seen me. In truth, she had actually forgotten my existence. That's probably a bad sign. Anyway, I'm off for now.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Udderly Amazing?

It's lunch time here and I am in the living room by myself. Micah is sleeping in his crib, Jamie is in his high chair finishing his lunch, and Cody is in the basement with Mike. I'm not sure what they're doing down there, but it is relatively quiet in here and for that, I am grateful. It looks like I'm going to be alone with the boys all afternoon, so I thought I'd post in here now while I actually have the opportunity. I'd love to sneak in a nap, but I don't think that will be a possibility today. Micah has been getting up in the night. I think he has a little bit of a cold. Yesterday he ate every two hours for most of the day. I am not used to that. Usually I feed him about five times in a single 24 hour period. Yesterday I did nine. That's almost double what he normally does. I hope he won't be that extreme today. At least last night he was only up once, at 2:30 a.m. It was not fun, but it was better than the previous few nights.

So yesterday I got Mike to pick up a new product in town. The product is not new, but it is new in our household. It is called (are you ready for this?) Bag Balm. Sounds odd, don't you think? If any of you are farmers, you may know what I am talking about. Actually, it is a product used on cows' udders for relief when they are chapped or clogged. Now before you go jumping to any conclusions, I had something entirely different in mind for this product. A few months ago, I read on the internet that this stuff is good for eczema, and seeing I have been suffering with it ever since Cody was born I have been wanting to try it. An even bigger motivator was the fact that Jamie also has eczema, and far worse than I ever have. We are currently cutting all dairy products out of his diet to see whether that might help, but I figured if there was something that I could apply topically that would clear it up, maybe we wouldn't have to change his diet at all. I know what some of you are thinking. If we don't change his diet it will not clear up. That is probably correct, but not necessarily. That's what we are hoping to find out. Already it seems to have made a difference and we just applied it for the first time last night. I used it on my hands as well, and I think it will help me as well. Is it a miracle cure? Well, I doubt it. But even if it offers relief and some improvement it will be worth it. How ironic that Jamie's diet must avoid all things bovine and now he has to apply something to his skin that was made for cattle. I will use this product on myself and on Jamie for a couple of weeks and then I will do an update, or perhaps even a review of some kind. I hope I will have a positive report!

In other news, it looks like my horse got sold. I'm not entirely sure on that, but she disappeared from the classifieds overnight. Normally if something gets sold, it says SOLD on there and remains on the page for several days. That one thing gives me hope that maybe they just pulled the ad because they are considering waiting until the spring to sell her. If that is the case, maybe I still have a chance at buying her. In the mean time, there are two other horses on the site that I am interested in, but in reality I am crazy to even be looking. Right now we have plenty of land but no fence so we obviously are not in a position to keep a horse here. We may never have a horse, but recently it is all I can think about. I am not sure why. I just need something for myself. Not a possession, but something to do that I love that involves leaving the house. Sigh. I already had the bug and then I went and got on a horse this week and now it is much worse. Maybe it will calm down some over the winter. Probably. Maybe by spring I will have forgotten all about this desire. Time will tell I suppose.

Anyway, we're getting ready to put Jamie to bed and Cody outside. Micah is awake now. Juggling. See how that works? My policy is to avoid having all three boys at once whenever possible. Having only one at a time is even more ideal, but we'll see what happens. It is still pretty nice out so I am kicking Cody out for a while. I would like to go out too, but not sure whether that will happen right now or not. I'd also love to shower, or nap, or do some kind of a workout. The first two will probably be difficult to pull off with boys around, and the last one will be difficult to do without a speck of energy, which is my current status. However, difficult does not equal impossible, so we'll see what happens. For now, time to sign off.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Busy, busy, busy!!!

Another crazy week has almost come to an end and I have barely had time to check my email, let alone post in here. As I type this, Micah is laying on his Daddy, drinking a bottle contentedly. We decided to try a bottle tonight to see whether he would take it, so I could go out if I needed to or wanted to. I fully expected a battle of at least half an hour consisting of a wailing baby and eventually a tearful mommy. However, he took it without so much as a tiny frown. Wow. What an easy baby!!! I guess that means I am officially free to go out whenever I want to as long as Mike is here to take the boys. Micah is now sleeping, having drained the entire bottle. So adorable.

Yesterday I took him in for his two month appointment, even though he is already three and a half months old. It turns out he is big for his age, as his brothers were. Specifically, he is tall. I was glad to get that done, and we spent the rest of the day with one of my sisters-in-law and her kids, so the boys were really happy. We were at her house the day before too, and had a blast. We all got to ride her horse. Cody was really scared, but I managed to get him to sit in the saddle for a few minutes. Jamie was in his element and had no fear. He loved it. As for me, I am a little out of practice after not having ridden in two or three years, but it felt so good to be on a horse again. I only walked him because he had no bridle on, just a halter and a rope, and I didn't want him doing anything silly when I had so little control over him, but I rode him for about 15 minutes and it felt great. On top of that it was about 15 degrees outside, and we barely even needed jackets. What a beautiful November.

Today was a very domestic day for me. I made biscuits for the first time ever. I was a little nervous, due to my less than outstanding track record in the kitchen, but it went quite smoothly and they turned out to be the best biscuits I have ever eaten. Seriously. They were so fluffy and moist. Wow. Good biscuits. Cody helped and was thrilled to cut them out with a glass and to lift them off with a knife and place them on the cookie sheet. Once we were done with those, we made Rice Krispie cake. That's when things got a little dicey. Okay, I didn't blow it entirely, but as I confessed to another sister-in-law today, I find Rice Krispie cake incredibly difficult to make. In fact, I do not remember having one successful attempt to make it. I do remember making it with my mom many years ago. Hers always turned out really well and had the perfect texture and consistency. Today, mine was not a total write off. Not all of it anyway. I did discover that making Rice Krispie cake takes an incredible amount of arm strength. I also discovered that I don't have any. I think I will be sore tomorrow. A good portion of the gooey concoction stuck to the bottom of the pot and was a write-off. How does anyone make good Rice Krispie cake? Oh well. In the end it still tasted good, and the boys really liked it. It was worth it just to hear Jamie trying to say Rice Krispie cake.

I guess that is all I did in the way of cooking today. Funny, I felt much more domestic than that sounds. My house is a mess, but I literally did not have time to clean it today. Why? Hm. I don't even know. I remember picking up many things off the floor with the intention of cleaning thoroughly later, but I never made it there. I did dishes, and no laundry yet which is not good. I better start that now. What in the world did I do all morning? I did talk on the phone, but I was doing stuff at the same time.

I do remember walking into Cody's room this morning in search of something and seeing something white on his bed. Upon closer inspection it turned out to be coconut. Lots of it. All over his sheets. That would explain why I saw the coconut canister on the island counter when I got out of bed this morning. I wonder whether that will be uncomfortable for him to sleep in tonight. I was not in his room again after that so I forgot about it. Mike tucked him into bed tonight while I was preparing Micah's bottle and when I got there I saw the offending coconut all over the carpet. I guess it got brushed off the bed. That must mean I will need to vacuum tomorrow.

Anyway, I could go on and on, but a cloth diapering mama never rests. It is time to do my laundry. Maybe I'll have a chance to post again tomorrow.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Sour milk and Shake'n Bake

It has been another long day. It started at about 5 a.m. with a fussy baby and has been non-stop ever since. It is nearly 7 p.m. and Mike just got home. Lucky him, he got to have an encounter with a dentist. He is running the bath now for the boys. I managed to cook some chicken and mashed potatoes without burning the house down, and that's something to be proud of. Okay, so it was Shake'n Bake. Either way, I cooked a real meal for the boys and served it all by myself. For anyone who is unaware, I am not exactly brimming with confidence when it comes to all things culinary. Somehow, we made it through the meal in relative calm, a rare occurrence indeed. On top of that, they both ate everything on their plates and had broccoli for dessert. Bonus.

This morning I spent most of my time cleaning sour milk puke off myself and off Micah. When he was finally so drenched in it that he could not handle it anymore, I gave him a bath. He smiled gratefully at me throughout the bath and proceeded to pee on the floor when I put him down on his towel. Ironically, just moments earlier I had questioned my decision to let the bath water out, anticipating this very thing. Micah was delighted with himself as he emptied his tiny, yet surprisingly full bladder on the bathroom floor and on himself and his towel. I managed to pop the plug back in the drain before all the water was gone and he was a little surprised to be put directly back into the tub. He didn't seem too bothered by it though. Once he was all cleaned up and dressed in a brand new onesie that he had never worn before, he proceeded to soak it with another abundant puke. Phew. Okay, I was wanting to wash that one again anyway so it would shrink a bit more. Micah was not finished with me yet though. Later on he pooped for the first time in seven days. Wow. That was fun too!

I was able to go outside for about half an hour today and it was beautiful outside. I was thankful for the opportunity to go for a short walk in the amazing uncharacteristic November weather. It was ten degrees today. We don't even have any snow yet. It's wonderful. I even sat on our porch swing and read my book for a while.

As far as my weekend goes, I decided to go see an optometrist on Saturday morning. Wouldn't you know it, I do have iritis again. I am on eye drops every four hours now, but I was on them for every two hours all weekend. Anyway, it is discouraging to have a relapse this soon after my last episode, but there is nothing I can do about it. Eye drops. Great. It has improved already, but I was really hoping it was nothing this time. The only bonus is that I have set an alarm to go off on my ipod every time I am due for my drops, and I picked a different sound for each time. Yesterday Cody said to me, "Mom, why is your iPod quacking?" It was, too.

So, it is now 8:30 p.m. and it is time to kick back and relax. Good night.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Eye problems.

When one is freaking out about some type of physical symptom in the body, it is probably not wise to Google that symptom. That's what I just did. Now I am on the verge of panic and even feel a bit queasy in my guts. My eye looks disgusting, and it is quite sore. Because of my history, I should probably go in and have it checked, but last time I did there was nothing there. That was a good thing, but the doctor told me to do this routine called "lid hygiene" which involves washing my face with a special tea tree oil facial soap twice a day. No problem, right? After I wash my face, I am supposed to soak a facecloth in really hot water and hold it against my closed eyes for ten minutes, reheating the cloth frequently to keep it as hot as possible without burning myself. Say what? You want me to close my eyes for ten whole minutes? With three boys in the house ages three and under? You must be kidding! The sad truth of it is, I was not really worried about it, so I never did it. I am normally an excellent patient and do whatever the doctor tells me, but this time I seriously could not fathom doing this when I am home alone with the boys.

That brings me to my current dilemma. My eye has been red for two weeks now, and sore for two days. It is at the point now where I am feeling scared, wondering whether I should go in right away. The problem is, we have ONE ophthalmologist, and he is busy. Very busy. If I go in there and waste his time and it turns out to be nothing, he will not be impressed when he finds out I have not been doing this lid hygiene like he asked me to. It will be my fault that my eye is bothering me, and my fault that I wasted his time. Additionally, he will not take me seriously the next time I have a problem. Me and this doctor already have issues. Part of me is tempted to make an emergency appointment with an optometrist instead, which I can do today but not tomorrow, but wouldn't you know it, I am home alone. Alone with the boys, that is. So, I cannot book an appointment until Mike gets home, and I don't know when that will be. So I am sitting here on my bed, hiding from all of my kids (though I hear Cody coming now...) feeling stressed out and a little angry. I did the lid hygiene routine this morning and will do it again tonight. I will probably just do that until Monday and go in that day if I still have a problem. The thing is, if it is uveitis again and I don't get it treated right away, it is extremely dangerous and can cause permanent damage in my eye. Do you see my dilemma? I wish I had an eye doctor that I trusted.

Other than my eyeball problems, I have homework to focus on today. I have done a lot of it, but still might need to spend a couple of hours at it. As usual, I am somewhat blank on topic ideas. I guess I should sign off for now. I should not be hiding in here. Cody and Jamie are each playing alone or I would not have gotten away with this for so long. Micah is in his playpen, safe. I don't know whether he is sleeping or not. I hear vocal sounds, but I can't tell whether they are coming from Micah or Jamie. I know that seems weird, but it is slightly muffled from here. Oh, the music just started up on his bouncy chair, so he is definitely awake. He is not crying though, so I am not going to rush in there.

Hehe. Jamie just climbed up behind me and he has his hands on my back like he is going to massage me. I'll take anything I can get! Oh wait, he's going to rip my hair out with a hair clip instead. How wonderful. And now Micah is crying, so I have to go. I suppose I'll keep the eyeball situation updated, if there's anything to update. I hope there is...like maybe my eye clearing up on its own in the next two days. Bye for now.

P.S. My horse is still not sold. Hehe. Maybe I'll still be able to buy her!

Friday, November 13, 2009

Up to My Eyeballs

Hm. Not feeling so good this afternoon. I'm glad it's Friday so I will have back-up for the next two days. It has been one of those roller coaster days. Difficult morning, pretty decent afternoon. Why? Jamie is now in bed so I only have one "big boy" to deal with at a time. Cody had some serious attitude issues this morning and Jamie has a bad cold again, so he is grumpy. He has two of his two-year molars coming in and I suspect the other two are not far behind. He always gets a cold when he is teething, and though we have been told by our dentist friend that teething does not cause colds I believe it does make them more susceptible.

As for myself, I have a problem with one of my eyes. This is a recurring theme in my life in the last five and a half years. My eye has been horribly red for the last two weeks, but I have not thought too much of it because it was not at all sore. I figured I probably burst a blood vessel or something (eeewwww!!!) though I have no idea how. In case I have not mentioned it, I have major eyeball issues. Psychological ones, that is. I can't even eat grapes because of their shape and texture, if that gives you an indication. In the movie Conspiracy Theory, I was the only one laughing hysterically during the torture scene because his eyes were taped open and I was so disturbed that something inside of me snapped and brought on a completely inappropriate reaction. It was quite embarrassing, as a matter of fact. I hope nobody knew it was me laughing. So, with this debilitating psychological issue, I am not good at handling eye problems...my own or anyone else's. I have cut people off rather rudely when they are describing their lasik eye surgery and spent several minutes squeezing my own eyes shut afterward, as though that could actually shut down my vivid imagination. Maybe that's why this recurring eye ailment freaks me out so badly.

In typical fashion, this entry has taken me the entire day, so I have to sign off. I'm pretty sure I had more to say, but it has disintegrated like Lot's wife and there is little hope that it will ever return. I am cooking supper in "Girl Land". Mike is patrolling the boys and keeping them out of the kitchen. I see them and I hear them, but I do not have to trip over them or discipline them for now. It feels good. Bye for now.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Nudity and Spectacles

Again I have skipped a few days in here due to the incredible insanity in this household. This morning, I am preparing to have company after lunch. Gotta go break up a fight. Wow. So I got two whole sentences out before the boys started fighting. More accurately, Cody hit his brother on the head. How is a person supposed to get anything done under these circumstances???

Earlier I was in the kitchen loading the dishwasher when Jamie came in, half-naked. Guess which half? The good half, of course. Why would a boy bother to be naked from the waist up when he could be naked from the waist down? He seems to have no trouble removing his pants and his diaper. I found myself uttering a phrase that has become very familiar to me. "Why are you naked??" I didn't have time to pursue that angle before I noticed what was in his hands. A glasses lens. Great. Now he had to have been in my purse where I have Cody's old lenses from his past prescriptions. I took it from him and demanded repeatedly, "Where did you get this?" while heading out of the kitchen to find my purse. Then it occurred to me. I don't use my purse anymore. I have a giant diaper bag, so I don't bother with the purse. I just keep my wallet in my diaper bag so I don't have to carry so much around. That's when I knew the lens was not an old one. I rushed to the boys' room and sure enough, there were Cody's glasses laying twisted on the floor, one lens missing. I nearly cried. How many times will this happen?? I gave Cody a lecture about wearing his glasses. He knows he is supposed to put them on first thing in the morning. I can't really fully blame him, because he is only three and a half, but I have told him MANY times that he must keep his glasses away from Jamie.

Sometime during that last paragraph I had to comfort Jamie, who has another bad cold by the way, because he snapped and elastic on his wrist. He was basically inconsolable to the point that it was obvious he needed a nap. He said no when I offered to put him in his crib. He then said "bed?" all excited and ran to the end of the hall. Problem is, he turned to MY room instead of his. He wanted to lay on my bed. It was really sad. He got so upset when I said no, and I decided to put him in his crib against his will. He immediately lay down with his stuffed bear and stuffed dog. I suspect he is asleep already. That leaves me with only Cody. Wow. This is a rare happening for a morning.

I suppose I will have to move on now and continue getting ready. Oh, but first I should mention that I have solved my piano key dilemma. (If I already mentioned this, please forgive my brain. My memory is only slightly better than Dory's, from Finding Nemo.) On Friday evening Mike and I went for a "date", which was actually errands followed by a very late supper at Applebee's. Before we started our errands we went to the piano shop at the university, where Mike's cousin works restoring pianos. He had told us he probably could find a key for us. To make a long story short, he got us a Kawaii key that looked like it would work, even though our piano is a Yamaha. Sure enough, the key worked. Two days later I found my key. It was in my room, as I had suspected, under my night table. Sounds obvious enough, like we should have found it sooner. The truth is, it was in a weird place. My night table goes right to the floor, so nothing can get under it unless it falls out of a drawer. If something falls out of the front of the drawer, it ends up on the floor in front of the night table. If it falls out of the back of the drawer, it lands under the table at the back. The key was under the table at the very front. I removed the drawer and cleaned out the whole thing with the intention of finding the key. It worked, but I had to lean right in to see it.

So, another mystery solved. We are still missing one very important item in our house, but that is another story. I guess it is time for me to face reality and continue cleaning this house. It is not bad at all in here, but there is definitely some work to do. Bye for now.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Good night, early morning.

Phew! It has been a busy week and weekend, hence the lack of posts in here. As usual, I am very tired but I am happy to report that Micah slept through last night. If Cody had not barged in our room at 6 a.m. I would be feeling quite well-rested, I suspect. He came in just long enough to let in one of our cats who took it upon herself to be as irritating as possible. When Mike got up to boot her out, she hid under the bed. We were both really mad. Mike finally got her out and then Cody came in again and left the door open a crack...just enough for the other cat to get in. AAHHH! Well, the second time it was Cricket, and even though she sometimes rattles plastic bags and does other annoying things I knew if I just called her she would come and lay on the bed. Sure enough, it did come to that so I called her. Boy was she thrilled. She purred like her life depended on it and she lay right across my chest in pure bliss. She has not been allowed to sleep in our room since Micah was born and she's kind of a baby herself, so she really misses it.

Micah has now spent two nights in his very own bedroom. The first night I was a wreck. I don't know why I reacted so extremely, but I just could not stop crying when I went to bed. I missed seeing his adorable face beside me and watching his eyes slowly close as he drifted off. I know it is for the best because if we wait too much longer to transition him, it will be way more difficult for him which will in turn make it way harder on us. He has a good crib, so he will not be suffering in there. I did not feel as sad last night, though I still did miss him. He is napping in his crib now.

I am just sitting down for a little break this morning as I have been on the go, as usual. I fed all three boys and got the boys' laundry going. Then I folded the diaper laundry and folded all the baby laundry to put it away. I still have one or two baskets of clean laundry that need folding, and at least that many that need washing. Wow. Laundry, laundry, laundry!!! It never seems to even slow down. That's okay. I have to say that laundry is one of the only domestic duties that I am actually good at. Well, relatively good anyway. I don't always fold it immediately, but I am usually pretty good now. I also did a big load of dishes so that's good. I have a ton of stuff left to do, but I just wanted to sit for a few minutes first.

Jamie is walking around wearing Cody's rubber boots, as usual. I just put some clothes on him, but prior to that he was in just a diaper and rubber boots. Silly boy. This morning he crawled onto my bed and peered right into my face and said, "Hi Mom." It was really cute. Yikes! He just climbed onto my lap and combed my hair. Ouch. My hair is in a ponytail, but he managed to remove a good chunk of it. Out of the ponytail, that is, not out of my scalp though I suspect it may have headed in that direction had I not intervened.

I guess I should sign off and continue on my quest to be supermom, or superwife...or superhousekeeper??? I don't know. How about just super. Super anything. I feel like I'm about to fall asleep. I will have to try to get outside today too. I did not yesterday, and I barely did on Saturday so I have slacked off in my decision to get at least a tiny bit of fresh air every day. Today and tomorrow are looking to be the last really warm days of the season so I don't want to miss them. This afternoon when Jamie naps I will go out with Cody, if Micah sleeps too. Time to get back to work.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

A Sad Milestone

I am nearly ready for bed but wanted to check in here. My Mom has gone home and already my house looks messier. It was great to have her here. Cody was not nearly as difficult to deal with because he got more attention and he also spent a great deal of time outside. The weather has been beautiful, so that has been helpful. Jamie amazed my Mom with his crazy and non-stop antics. She just couldn't believe how fast and how frequently he got into trouble. Apparently she told my sister it is no wonder I have a hard time getting anything done. I guess that means I'm not just pathetic. It somehow helps to know that.

Tonight I am on my own, in a sense. Mike has homework and has been downstairs all evening working on it. Cody and Jamie are in bed sleeping, of course, and Micah is now settled for the night...hopefully. The catch is, he is in his own room. This may not seem like a big deal, but tonight is the first night we have moved him into his own room instead of having him in the cradle right beside my side of the bed. I should be rejoicing in this, but instead I am sad and fighting tears. I don't remember whether I felt this way with the other two or not. Not Cody, I know that. Jamie I can't remember. But this time it is really hard. I love watching him fall asleep. I hate the thought of him in a dark room all alone. And there is this part of me that feels like I have now experienced having a baby sleeping in my room for the very last time ever. If he is my last baby, we have just passed a milestone that means he won't be my baby much longer. I know, it probably sounds overly emotional and like I'm making a big deal out of nothing, but I cannot help myself. I just love my little Micah so much and now I feel even more lonely somehow. I hope he will not be lonely too. He likes to gaze across at us as he falls asleep. Now he will not be able to. Will he notice that he has too much space in his crib? He is pretty wedged in to his cradle, so it may not feel very cozy being more spread out. I just feel like I'm going to miss him.

I think I am irrational. I am so overtired that I am crying over little things and I am continually dizzy. I really don't think I have ever felt so sad about moving my baby into his own room. It feels like the beginning of the end. Wow. I need to get out more. I need to sleep more. Maybe I need psychological help. I think I will go to bed now. Alone. Completely alone. How weird. All this time I at least had Micah with me...he is crying. Someone is crying. I have to go see what's wrong. Goodnight.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Yay! My Mom is here.

My Mom is here and it has been nice. My house looks mostly clean other than a bit of clutter on the kitchen counter and other than my bedroom. It is nice to have backup when dealing with Cody, and it has been good for him and Jamie to have someone else to interact with other than me during the day. We have all been outside every day, a habit that I have been trying to establish for myself for the last week or so. Of course, it doesn't hurt that a week into November we are still without snow and tomorrow it is even supposed to go up to 16 degrees. (Celsius, of course.) My Mom has offered us a night off tomorrow, so Mike and I will be going to town. Micah will accompany us, as usual, and we are not even entirely certain as to the nature of our outing at this point. Will it be a date? I don't know. Does Christmas shopping and clothes shopping classify as a date? I'm thinking not really, but it is still an opportunity to leave the house together without all three boys in tow. We will likely either go out for supper or go out for appetizers or dessert after our errands are done. We'll see how we do.

Anyway, despite a plethora of Jamie-related incidents that have occurred during the last 48 hours, I am just too wiped out to continue this post. Maybe I will catch up a bit tomorrow afternoon. For now, I am going to read a bit in my room while I wait for the ideal time to feed Micah before we hit the hay. Mike is out playing hockey tonight and I doubt I'll see him home before 1 a.m. Crazy, eh? Goodnight.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

A Colorful Morning

This is one of those mornings where I wonder whether all four of us will survive until Mike gets home. My hands are currently covered in marker and I have not done any coloring today. Cody took the liberty of turning Jamie's blue shirt red by coloring almost his entire back despite having been told very firmly that the markers would only be used on paper. Why is it that my three and a half year old is so brilliant that he seems closer to five, but he refuses to use markers as they were intended? It makes me very angry because he knows better and he does it on purpose. Even as he confessed to me that he had drawn all over Jamie's back, he stood with a marker and wrote on the wall. Right in front of me. Things went rapidly downhill from there. Please understand, it is not the fact that there are marks on all of my upholstered kitchen chairs, all over the table, all over their clothes and there are chalk drawings all over the closet doors that gets me really angry. Yes, it bothers me because I am not one of those moms who is good at being relaxed and not caring when things get ruined or even just messy. However, I am able to make a choice to not be so uptight and let my kids just be kids. The problem is, what Cody did was not done in the spirit of being a child. It was done in a spirit of deliberate disobedience and was followed by one of the rudest tantrums in which he assured me he would hide all the markers on me and I would not be allowed to take them away from him. I was sorely tempted to have a tantrum of my own and throw the whole bin of coloring supplies into the garbage right in front of him, but common sense prevailed and I decided to take the high road instead. Things have improved since then, but I am still on edge today. Was I cut out for this job? It doesn't feel like it.

I have to check on my baby. He is in the play pen, which is only two feet from where I'm sitting, but I can't see him from here and I have a feeling he has fallen asleep in there. I will move him into his crib in that case. He is doing well and would have slept through the night last night except for Cody, who has taken it upon himself to barge into our room a minimum of five times each morning between 1 a.m. and 7 a.m. Usually he does all of his barging in between 5:30 a.m. and 7:30 a.m., but I don't really care. It has gone on long enough and I really would like to start locking our door. He needs to be broken of the habit, and weeks have gone by without any improvement. He is actually in there to steal my ipod touch so he can watch videos on it of Lightning McQueen. It is ridiculous. I have not allowed him any such privilege for a number of weeks now and still he begs all day every day. Will he ever give up? At this point it seems doubtful, but I will continue to try. I must go now. I'm positive Micah must be asleep.

Oh, I guess I should mention that we have lost another significant item in our house. Our piano key has disappeared. I'm not talking about middle C here, or any other black or white key. I'm talking about the metal key that locks and unlocks the keyboard cover. Right now, the piano sits locked and can be played by nobody. I was so upset about this last night. Why do things keep disappearing around here??? The good news is, I found out this morning I can purchase another key for about $7 in town, but I shouldn't have to. I had two keys. One, my backup key, I can't remember where I stored it in the first place. Yes, that is useful, isn't it? The other one, I kept in the same place forever and then I moved it on top of the piano so it was convenient. Recently, I moved it to my room because of certain short individuals who enjoy climbing on my piano. That was where I really went wrong. The key is most certainly missing, and I have no idea where else to look for it. I can only shake my head at my unwise decision to put something small and important in my room. Now what? Well, I may have to go to town to buy another key. How ridiculous.

Anyway, I really must go. Micah IS asleep on his side in the play pen under a toy bar with toys hanging down from it. It's very cute. Bye for now.

Monday, November 2, 2009

By the Light of the Moon

Things are so busy around here that I didn't even realize I had not posted this weekend. It is already almost bed time, so I don't really have time to post much tonight anyway. I can tell you that though it is only the end of Monday, an hour or two ago I could have sworn it was Friday. That's not a great sign, but oh well!

The past two days (as in today and yesterday) my boys have kept me very busy and I have also done a lot of cleaning in this house. It has felt really good to get some stuff done and to do some organizing so it is easier to keep it clean in here. I keep wondering whether it is normal to feel completely exhausted but have an energy burst at the same time to get my cleaning done. I guess it is similar to being nine months pregnant, when your are physically at the end of your rope and then the nesting instinct kicks in. That never happened to me this last time around. Maybe the instinct kicked in, but there was no energy burst to allow me to apply it. So, my nesting is starting to gear up now. Better late than never, right?

Tonight I just got back from a short walk outside. I only went down the driveway (which is much longer than a city driveway and winds through the trees) and down the road a short way. My intention was to be gone only about five minutes and to get a shot of fresh air and exercise all in one. The thing is, I get pretty nervous outside in the darkness of night. I don't know which is worse: walking in the dark in the city, or walking in the dark surrounded by forest on either side. I took Radar along. He is a German Shepherd cross for anyone who didn't know. I took him on leash so he could not abandon me like a coward in the event of a run-in with any type of animal. I was still very nervous, though the moon was almost full and did a far better job of illuminating the road in front of me than my pathetic flashlight did. It was very still outside, and chilly too. I did not hear a peep except for the slight rustling of what leaves still remain on the trees. Radar did not bark or growl once, and barely even did the alert look, so that helped to ease my nerves a bit. Truly, I am a chicken and my imagination is far too active to allow me to just enjoy a night out, breathing the crisp air and the scent of fallen leaves under a beautiful full moon. As it happens, I lived to tell the tale, and without a single scary incident to justify my elevated levels of adrenaline.

Soon I will feed my sweet little baby and head to bed for the night. I have one more thing to do first and I will have to use my brain because it is an editing thing, so I must get to that before my brain shuts down completely for the night. My Mom is coming out on Wednesday and staying until the weekend, so I may be a little more scarce in here, but we'll see. For now, I am signing off. Goodnight.