Thursday, May 6, 2010

Another rough day...

Okay, today was not good. I probably shouldn't even say any more than that. Cody and I have been clashing quite a bit during the afternoons and I have not been patient this week. Some days I cannot handle it when he disobeys every single thing I tell him. Today was rough. Really it has been like this for almost two weeks, but yesterday was not a bad day, so I wasn't expecting things to get so terrible today. In the end, I blame myself. After all, I am the adult here. I am the one who is supposed to be mature and level-headed, but today I really lost it. I wanted out of here so bad. Mike got home and said maybe I should go ahead and get a job, if I felt like it would be better that way. Of course that is not what I really want. Well, I do wish I could contribute financially around here, but I don't want to leave my kids with someone else. But today I was not a good mother, and all I could think was, I don't want to do anything for mother's day, because if my kids give me any kind of a card saying what a great mom I am, I will not believe them. Not this week. No worries though. I asked Mike and he said they do not have any plans for mother's day.

So, instead, we are probably going to look at a horse that day. We were going to go tonight, (that is, I was going to go with one of my sisters-in-law), but the weather where we were headed was not great and it seemed like a waste of time and gas to go out there when we couldn't truly focus on the horse. So, we might go on mother's day instead. I have to finalize some arrangements first, and then we'll find out. The owner is okay with us coming that day, as long as her husband confirms it is okay. Hehe. Kind of silly, but she really was fine with it. Perhaps I will post an update in here once I know what is going on.

Anyway, not a very upbeat post, but it is what it is. Hopefully tomorrow will be better, and at the very least, it will be Friday and the end of my week. I'm off for now.

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