Saturday, August 28, 2010

Rough night

Yesterday Micah turned 13 months exactly. I took the plunge and weaned him completely. He was mostly there already, and this is longer than I have gone with any of my babies, but for some reason it is always hard to do. He was up at 1:45 a.m. crying hysterically for no discernible reason. Mike had to check him because it really is difficult for me to carry him around, but he didn't hold him long and put him back to bed. It did not go over well. The hysterics went on for an hour in total, and it was horrible. I lay in bed with tears in my eyes, not knowing what was wrong with him. I knew I could nurse him and probably settle him, but I knew that could also form a bad habit, and create an expectation. For some reason, he has been really fussy the last several days. I highly suspect another tooth is under his gums bothering him. We put stuff on his gums last night to help him, but I don't think it worked. I read recently that at this age they start getting dreams. I strongly suspected he had had a bad dream because he was okay while I held him, but he did not want to go back in his room. The whole thing was terrible, and of course it would happen right when I decide to wean him. So, once again I must struggle with guilt, but I can't take that on. I sincerely hope tonight goes better. He is napping right now, and went down without a struggle. That's a good sign because lately he gets really upset even going for his naps.

So I am here alone with all three boys and at the moment I have some space because the older two are playing downstairs and Micah is sleeping, as I mentioned. I am supposed to be cleaning the house, and I was, but I am taking a short break. Mike has gone with Andrea (my younger sister, for those who don't know) to pick up her horse, Indy. He is coming to live with us for a while, which will be interesting. I will try to take pictures of the three of them meeting later, but it is supposed to rain so not sure how many I will get. Indy is a bay as well, so all three of them look very similar. All different breeds though. I think it will be funny to see them all together, once they all get along. I hope they will get along.

My other sister, Christine, is coming over after lunch with some or all of her three boys, and along with my dear friend, Kim. I don't see Kim very often as she lives a few hours away, so this is a treat for me. So, this will be a busy day, and technically, I should be working on homework too, but I think my evening is clear. Hopefully I can get it finished soon. It is due on Wednesday, but I want to get it done this weekend if I can. We have plans on Sunday, and Monday Mike intends to go to his new school to get his classroom prepped. Tuesday I have a doctor's appointment to have this wrist and cast checked, so there are no free days to work hard on my homework. I have been doing it over the last several days, so if I continue to do bits and pieces, I should be okay. My next assignment is going to be a doozy though, so that ought to be interesting with Mike back at work full time again!

Anyway, I think this break has been long enough. Gotta get cleaning again. This place is a disaster. Bye for now.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Boys and lizards.

Well, my boys caught a salamander today. Correction: my boys cornered a salamander and I caught it. Before anyone jumps all over this, yes, I know, salamanders are not actually lizards. They are amphibians, whereas lizards are reptiles. So, it was like handling a very long, squishy frog with a big head and a long tail. Truly, it was gross. I am a wimp about bugs, but I am not afraid to pick up snakes, so this is not just me being a "girly girl". No, it really felt gross. Slimy and squishy, plus it peed all over me. Ew. I used my left hand only, of course, because of my cast, but still I washed my hand and my fingers of my other hand three times in hot water with soap, and I still feel a little creeped out. Apparently they can carry salmonella, so I have now made the boys wash thoroughly as well, but Jamie has ventured back out, promising he will not touch it. Yeah right. A two-year-old's promise is as reliable as a snowmobile. (Haha. My analogy. It comes from always seeing them in the ditch with their hoods up and their riders standing by looking bewildered.) Cody tells me that the little critter got away and Jamie does not have it. That is a relief to me. Here are a few pics of the little guy. Cody named him Picklelarry (like Pickle-Larry, only I don't think he meant it like that), so I told him to call it Pickle for short. I don't think he did though.

I have never seen a salamander in our yard before, but we do get snails a lot, which is weird seeing we have no ditches full of water, no dugout nearby, and rarely even a puddle in our sandy soil. So, there are my little munchkins with their catch. 

Micah just went down for a nap, but he did not go down without a fight. Lately he is terribly grouchy and it is hard to please him. He popped a tooth last week, and I really think the one on the other side of his two front bottom teeth is lurking below the surface of his gums, but I cannot see anything. We just gave him a dose of Tylenol. He felt a little warm and is acting like he is in pain. I am not normally one to medicate frequently, but recently I have been feeling like it is necessary. Today is the first time we have done that in several days, and prior to that, months, so no worries about us over-medicating. I do hope it helps though. I need him to sleep this afternoon seeing his nap this morning was pathetic and Mike will be leaving me home alone this afternoon for an errand and then to go help his brother with some baling. I don't know how long he will be gone, but I am nervous about being alone with all three boys. Nobody has pooped today, so likely that will all happen when it is just me here, and dumb as this is, it really is difficult to deal with diapers while wearing a cast that can't get wet or dirty. (Well, I don't want bacteria on it because I can't clean it. Ew.)

Anyway, it sounds to me like Micah is now talking in there as opposed to sleeping, which does not thrill me one bit. What should I do with him? I will give him a bit of time in there and continue working on my homework for now, I guess. Nothing else to report today.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Summer's End.

I am unsuccessfully trying to work on my homework right now, so it seemed like a good time to do a blog post. I know I have been a bit scarce lately, but in truth there has not been a whole lot to report. I am still in a cast and I am doing well as far as my injuries go, but I am increasingly covered in mass amounts of poison ivy. My existence has been somewhat miserable as a result. I am finding myself saddened at the prospect of September beginning, even though it is my birth month and has always been my favorite month, because the summer is officially over and our entire August was wasted thanks to my senseless injuries. I did not go to the lake a single time this summer. No, not once. Wow. In fact, we have not been anywhere at all. We did not even make it in to the big city to take our boys to the zoo, as was planned since last winter. So, I guess I am having some regrets about the summer and it is hard not to be sad about it. This is turning into the perfect weather for riding, but I will not be doing any. Worse is the fact that I have wrecked things for Mike, and partially for the boys, though they are less aware of it. Every year we say we will go on a holiday, and every year we stay home. Maybe next year we will really do it. I don't know. Every year I get sad at the end of August because I know Mike will be returning to work and I will be alone with the boys every day. It is part of life. Even as a kid I was sad to be starting school. Maybe what I need is a good trip to Wal-Mart to buy a whackload of school supplies. I love school supplies. When my boys are older I will enjoy taking them shopping for school supplies and new clothes every August.

I think what I need is to have a new season to look forward to instead of grieving over the one I have just lost. I don't know. There is nothing new on my horizon at this point. Just for the boys. I mean, Cody will start preschool on September 15th. that's new, but not for me. Just for him. Maybe I have a craving to return to school. I don't know. Probably not. I am still in my course and though it is going very well I am tired of deadlines. Too bad though. That is my future, if I manage to become a published writer. No, a professional writer, who continues to get published. Wow. I just keep saying I don't know. It is true. I don't.

Maybelline was ridden this morning for the first time. That was exciting. Mike's brother did it, with him looking on. Well, he was in the round pen too, and there were a few brief rodeo moments, but all in all it went very well. She is doing well, and though we are extremely slow at getting her broke, it is getting done. Mike even got a short ride in, at a walk. I wanted to take pictures, but stayed in the house.

My mom was out starting on Tuesday at around lunch time. She came to help me out while Mike attended some professional development days in a nearby town. Tuesday he just went for the afternoon, but that evening we went to town and had a date. There were no movies playing that we wanted to see in the theatre, so we just went to The Keg and had a nice meal. Then, in true hick-style, we went to Future Shop for further entertainment. There is not a whole lot to do in the city here, as it is quite small, and our only options were really bowling and mini-golf, both impossible for me with a cast on my right arm. So, in Future Shop, of course Mike made a bee-line for the Apple computers, and that was okay. I am an Apple girl too, but not obsessed like Mike. But then we went to the back of the store and checked out their huge Sony 3D TV. This is truly pathetic, but standing there with those 3D glasses on, watching demos of aquariums with beautiful sharks swimming right off the screen and beside us, and Play Station games where we were in dune buggies and flying across hills and through mid-air, was one of the funnest things I have done in a long time. (On a brief aside, did you know that "funnest" is not a word? We are forced to be more formal and say "most fun". I believe I will refuse to take the word "funnest" out of my vocabulary.) Anyway, we stood in front of that TV for only about ten minutes, but I felt like we had been to the I-Max or somewhere equally exciting. At the very least, it felt like we had left our familiar surroundings, even if it was only for ten minutes.

We were home by 10 p.m., or slightly before, but it was a good evening. Mike was at his workshop the whole next day, but my mom got quite sick and even ended up throwing up. It was so horrible, and sudden too. I felt terrible for her, and I had to do quite a bit by myself including changing two poopy diapers. I know, that is old hat, but with a cast on my right hand I am paranoid about getting bacteria on it because I can't wash it. So, I survived, leaving me to conclude that I will be okay on my own with all three of them again, but I am still left dreading it, and I doubt that has anything to do with my injuries at all!

So, that about covers my last week...more or less. I better end this before I go on and on even more. I will try to do this a little more consistently. Hopefully I will lose the cast on Tuesday and then this will be a lot less annoying. I'm off for now.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Alone with kids...scary...

I am feeling a little bit nervous this morning because I am home alone with Jamie and Micah. Cody is at vacation Bible school with his auntie and cousins, and Mike had to go to town for a dentist appointment. So here I am, still somewhat incapacitated, with two boys in diapers. Yikes. Micah is in bed, but I am not sure what I will do if he wakes up before Mike gets back, which is very likely to happen. I am nervous, but I know I will survive. If I have to, I can get Micah out of his crib, but it might hurt a bit. Me, of course, not him. Hehe. Meanwhile, I have my sweet two year old who never gets one on one time with me. He is a little too clingy right now, but sweet and not into trouble, so I can't really complain. This will probably be good for him.

Anyway, I don't suppose I have too much to say this morning. It is a beautiful morning, but for now I am in the house with the two munchkins. This afternoon we will drop off Cody and Jamie at the farm and take Micah for his one year appointment. He has to have needles, which is not cool, but I do like finding out his measurements and where he is at compared to others his age. This set of needles is the worst one, I have always found. I hope he won't react the way Cody did. We will see, I guess.

Sorry this is a bit dull. It is going to be hard to type until the end of August when I can get rid of this cast. Hopefully I won't have another one put on. Better go. Bye for now.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

New cast.

Today I learned something about casts. Well, I have never known much about them, and the one I got on August 4th in the emergency department at the hospital was something called a back slab, which is only hard on one side and then wrapped with a lot of gauze like material, almost more like a tight splint of sorts. Today the doctor cut that one off and x-rayed my wrists again. First, it turns out there is no fracture on the left one, which means I will not have to experience both arms in casts at once. That is a relief. My ankle, though fractured, is more like a sprain because of where the fracture occurred. It is doing really well, so I don't have to do anything special with it. But my right arm was re-cast today, and the new cast is fiberglass.   I guess this is different than the plaster kind, and I don't know whether they still do those or not. This was put on similarly to the other one, except after the thin sleeve thingy, he wrapped my arm in this cotton stuff that looked like what you'd put inside a stuffed animal. Then he took these wet rolls of stuff that were about two inches wide and with an almost mesh-like texture. Almost like the ribbing on a sweatshirt, I guess, or like a shreddie. Only white. So, he wrapped it around and around my forearm and hand and then smoothed it out and pressed the hand part into the shape he wanted. I assumed there would be another smooth layer on top, but nope. That's it. Then, it hardened as it dried, and here is the coolest part. It sounded like Rice Krispies. I mean, I could hear the snap, crackle, pop as it dried. It was quieter than Rice Krispies, but the same effect. I wished I could have shown the boys, but it was already done by the time we got back and picked them up.

The bad news about my new cast? It is much harder to type in it than in the other one. Also, there was an open blister-like spot under it that was either poison ivy or irritation from the other cast. He put some cream or ointment on it and put a band aid on and covered it with the cast. I hope it will not get too itchy. I definitely have poison ivy on my left arm, all around my elbow, and the other spots on my body are undetermined as to whether it is poison ivy or bites. I think at least one other patch is poison ivy.

I was really discouraged when I got home today for some reason, but I had a little nap and I am doing all right now. I would like to go for a walk, but I don't think it is going to happen. I wish it were easier to type as I have some stuff I would like to write about, plus I want to get a jump start on this next homework assignment. However, having the cast off for that brief time today was confirmation of how much I need it on. My arm felt very vulnerable and it was very sore without that support, so I am glad to have it protected. It will be a full two weeks before I see the doctor again for follow up. Hopefully I am not going crazy by then.

I better sign off. This is very tiring. I should mention that Cody is possibly going to something called Vacation Bible School tomorrow morning without me or Mike. I am very nervous about it, but I want him to try it out in preparation for preschool in the fall. I mean, the concept of him going somewhere without us. His auntie will be taking him, along with two of his cousins. I hope to have a good report about that tomorrow. It is only two hours, and it is only twenty minutes away, so he will only be gone about three hours. Why am I so nervous about it? He is four years old and has never done anything like this before.

Maybe this is too much information, but seeing this blog is about motherhood, I might as well mention that I am in the final stages of weaning Micah. I know this is hard to understand for anyone who has not been there, but it is an emotional time for me. Part of it is that as it is, I can barely hold him right now. Part of it is that I think it messes with my hormones and makes me a bit crazy. And part of it is that incessant mommy guilt telling me I am somehow failing him. So, that is adding to my depression a bit these days. I won't talk about it much in here as I know it is not something everyone likes to hear about or even needs to hear about. It is just part of my motherhood journey, so I thought I would share briefly.

And now, at 7:25 p.m. it seems all three of our boys are settled in bed. Phew. It is very quiet in here. It is nice, but again, I am feeling sad. I hope this feeling will lift soon. I'm off for now.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Oh no. So itchy.

Monday morning. It is cold in our house, which is a welcome change. The sun in shining, and the leaves on the tops of the trees are glittering in a gentle wind. I wish I were at the lake. It looks like it is going to be a nice day today. We have no plans to speak of at this point in time, but I want to take a drive down the road to the place where Sasha dumped me to survey the spot. I have broken out in a horrible, itchy rash, and it is my strong belief that when I fell off, I landed in poison ivy. I have patches in several places, but my left elbow is bad, plus a spot on my left wrist...and here's the clincher. I seem to have it on my right wrist as well. That's the one in the cast. I am going crazy here, and I am extremely unhappy about this new development. I looked online and apparently poison ivy can take up to ten days to show up in rash form. Wow. So what was already a bad situation is now much worse. I wish I were going to the doctor today, but I have to wait until tomorrow morning. I always wondered how itchy poison ivy is, because I get really bad mosquito bites. This is definitely worse. Maybe it is because instead of one isolated spot, it comes in patches. I don't know.

Anyway, that's all I've got for today. Too sore to type any longer. This will be a busy week, so not sure how much I will be posting in here, but I will do my best. I guess I'm off for now.

Friday, August 13, 2010

Friday the 13th

I had no idea it was Friday the 13th until I started this post. Not that it's a big deal to me. I am not superstitious. I do remember back in my junior high days that Friday the 13th was always kind of a big deal. I don't remember whether we did strange things that day or not. I just know we always knew when it was that day.

Nothing odd has happened here today. We did, however, have a massive storm last night. It was bad enough to scare me a bit. I woke up at 1:30 a.m. due to the very loud sounds of it, and there was a torrential downpour of hail. Yes, hail, and I think it continued for at least ten minutes without stopping. The lightning was non-stop, and we could see the poor horses standing out by the round pen when it flashed brightly enough. Well, we could see the shape of a horse. We could not tell whether it was one or two standing together. Either way, I felt bad for them being out there in all that hail. It had to have stung. At least it was only marble sized, and nothing bigger. I am not sure whether our vehicles sustained any damage or not. It was loud enough that I assumed they would be dented, but it rained most of the day today so I couldn't go out and Mike did not check them as far as I know.

I am still quite sore in my wrists, though my typing has improved in leaps and bounds. I can type quite quickly now, though it is not without painful moments. Good thing though, as I have a homework assignment due on Sunday. I think I may have finished it, but I am waiting to get a bit of feedback from Mike. He probably won't say anything much, so I might have to ask someone else. Hehe. Constructive criticism is not really his forte. I think like any wise husband, he is terrified to say anything negative to me lest I take it personally and sentence him to the dog house. I am learning to embrace suggestions about my writing though, and I do appreciate honest suggestions. Probably a bad idea to put him in that position.

I still cannot pick up my baby, but if I am sitting on the recliner, I am able to use my elbows to pull him onto my lap, so I can cuddle him a bit. That helps my outlook on things significantly. I was very sad that I was going to miss the last month or two of his baby stage. He is growing so quickly. My ankle is doing very well and I barely even need to limp now, which is odd, seeing it has been confirmed to have a fracture. It is my left arm, the one without a cast, that is giving me the most trouble at this point in time. I look forward to seeing the doctor on Tuesday and seeing what the new x-rays show.

Anyway, I am in decent spirits at this point in time. I am still upset about what happened, but as I improve, I get less depressed and I am starting to believe more that I will be able to ride again. I will probably have fear, but I am sure I will do it. Not for a while though. So, I'm getting pretty sore here, so it's time to sign off. No fabulous Jamie stories to share for now. They will all be Mike's for the next while, seeing he is the one doing all the child care around here while I'm out of commission. Oh, my mom and dad did come out for the day on Wednesday and that was very helpful. I guess my biggest struggle right now continues to be guilt. Guilt for not helping out. Guilt for not picking up Micah when he wants me. And as Mike gets more and more worn down, my guilt increases. I am trying to reject it, as I cannot help the way things are right now. Still, I hope things improve soon. I'm off for now.

Monday, August 9, 2010

I'm broken.

Well, now I'm two for three. My right wrist and my right ankle both have confirmed fractures in them. I will find out for sure about my left wrist next Tuesday. I am not doing much of anything, and struggling with guilt and at times, depression. Let's not forget boredom. I feel sad when I look out the window at Sasha and don't get the same rush of excitement I would have a week ago. I am certain I will get past this, but I don't like how it feels right now. I'm trying to think of some kind of outing for myself but I can't drive, so my options are limited.

Micah just put a tumbler of water (with a lid) inside of Mike's cowboy boot. Hehe. Silly. Mike is outside with Cody & Jamie feeding the horses, even though the boys are still in their pajamas. In fact, Mike is the only one wearing his daytime clothes so far. Yikes. For the moment, I am stuck in my recliner because I am unable to pull the lever to lower the footrest to let myself out, so I will have to wait until someone comes in to rescue me. I think I will call my grandma. I am getting sore from typing now anyway.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Doing all right.

I had a good sleep last night and am doing all right. My body is very sore, but I am able to move around, albeit slowly, now that I have a tensor bandage on my ankle. I keep thinking of all the things I would like to be doing, even things like folding laundry, to help out, but I am still fairly limited. My sister in law washed and styled my hair for me yesterday, which was nice. Another of my sisters-in-law always used to say, "It's better to look good than to feel good," in jest of course.

So, it looks like I'll be a bit helpless for about four to six weeks. We'll see. I see a doctor for follow up on the 17th. Anyway, I'm getting tired so must sign off. I do wish I could cuddle my baby. That may be the worst part of this. But, I will try to make the best of this time and rest as much as possible! I'm off for now.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Fell off my horse.

This will be a short post because I can't type very well. I took Sasha on her first trail ride yesterday. It did not go well. Close to a mile away from home (or maybe a bit less, but felt like it) we turned off the road onto a trail in the bush. I think she was nervous because she broke into a fast trot. I slowed her to a walk, but then turned up a fairly steep hill. Not sure why but she started to buck, harder and harder until I flew off and landed on my chest and both arms. She continued to buck and ran away to the road out of sight. I couldn't breathe. My shoe was off. My wrists hurt so bad. So did my right ankle. I slid down the hill to my shoe and got it on with minimal use of my hands. I waited until my ankle felt usable and then stood and limped down the hill. I found Sasha standing in the ditch down the road. I caught her and led her home. I rolled my sore ankle in the ditch and after that it was very difficult to walk. I could not get back on because I could not grip with my hands.

Skipping a few details, went to emergency last night. Fractured right wrist and in a half cast. Other wrist either sprained or possibly fractured as well...waiting fo radiologist report to determine. Right ankle badly sprained but not broken. Hehe, left foot already had broken toe. So won't be typing much or anything else for a while. Gotta sore. Discouraged.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010


Wouldn't you know it, I'm alone with the boys again. Golf. That's my one-word explanation. And today, they are diving me nuts. Wait a minute...that's fairly typical, isn't it? Micah is napping, which is not typical, in that he went down at around 9:30 a.m. He does not usually nap much before 11 a.m. I hope we are not coming down with something here. I had a wicked headache all through the night (which is gone now) and Cody just finished telling me he has a headache. I asked him what it felt like, just to see whether he would say it hurt. I was not sure whether he was just making something up or whether he truly had a headache. He said it felt kind of weird. I asked him to elaborate and asked him, "Like what?" His response was, "Uh...kind of like beans." As you can imagine, that was terribly helpful in diagnosing the problem. He then  showed me with his hands where it hurt. The back of his neck? Huh? He mentioned his throat too. I don't know what he is talking about. I'm guessing he is just looking for attention, but he could be getting something. I sure hope not.

I did a workout yesterday. Did I mention that in my post? Well, I was feeling a little bit cocky by the end of the day. After all, that was the most difficult workout I have in my arsenal, and I actually survived it without feeling as though I narrowly escaped death. Furthermore, I was not feeling especially shaky in the hours afterwards, so I was beginning to wonder whether getting back into working out might be easier than I had anticipated. It wasn't until close to bed time that I noticed my muscles were starting to seize up. Uh oh. Sure enough, I woke up barely able to pry my body out of the fetal position. Now, with every step I take I am hard pressed not to groan or utter some other expression of pain. My butt is especially sore, which is bound to make this evening interesting. Andrea is coming over and giving me a riding lesson. That saddle ought to feel great on my broken cheeks. I am already wincing. I was hoping to do an abdominal workout today, seeing those are the only muscles I did not work out yesterday, but I'm not sure. I can't do it with these boys all over me, and they are driving me crazy (did I already say that??), and in truth, all I really want to do is lay down and go to sleep. Mike will supposedly be back by 2 p.m., but he always underestimates how long he will take when he goes out. So, I may just go ahead and consider the riding to be today's workout. We'll see, I guess. I don't trust myself enough to say that I am back in a routine as far as workouts go, because I have only done one. I would like to get back in shape though, and I would love to establish a good routine before Mike starts work again. That gives me about a month to get something good going. Maybe if I can do a month, I can keep going. How does a person work out when they are exhausted??

Anyway, the boys are currently raiding the fridge. That activity has the potential to either give me some much needed space for a few minutes, or to trigger some type of catastrophe depending on what Jamie gets into in his quest for sustenance. Technically, we have not really had a Jamie "situation" yet today. Well, I guess he did polish off a whole row (the last one, incidentally,) of Oreo cookies this morning before 7 a.m. That wasn't cool. But at least it doesn't require another call to poison control.

I have not fed my horse yet this morning either. I mean, she has grass to graze on, but I have not given her her extra pellets yet. Sasha is underweight and needs to put on some pounds so I have to give her extra to supplement her grazing. I do it twice a day, but I have not been able to leave the house yet today. Technically, I could go now, but the horses went and disappeared on me way back when Micah was still up. Now, if I go out there, I may not be able to find them so instead of it taking ten minutes, it could take much longer than that. I guess she'll have to wait a bit today, which is no big deal.

Anyway, I guess I should really sign off for now. I wish I could have a nap! Only about four more hours until Mike is here and I can have a break. Yikes.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Chaos erupts. Feels like home.

All right, so yesterday I had my venting session about my air conditioning, and I am doing better today. The air conditioner is not doing that much better, though it is WAY better than it was two days ago. We went to town yesterday and bought three fans; two medium sized oscillating ones and one giant heavy duty one. We're talking gale force winds. The monstrosity is sitting at the bottom of our stairs blowing the cooler air upstairs to help cool this place, and seriously, stepping into the stair well is like some kind of NASA training event. I doubt our kids could even fall down the stairs right now, so strong is the rising air current.

Anyway, all that extra air circulation is helping the air conditioner. We also blocked our living room windows completely with sheets and a giant cardboard box. I may have mentioned that in my last post...I can't remember. Either way, it is much cooler in here than it is outside, and today I am grateful for that.

Yes, the temperature of my house is not what may do me in today. It is all the refereeing that I must do every two seconds. I'm tired of having my eardrums split by a screaming two year old. I'm tired of being whined at by a four year old.

So, it is now 6:15 p.m. and I am happy, no, relieved to report that I have officially survived supper and bath time with these boys. Survived is about all we have done. I managed to make a full meal, which I started preparing before Mike even left this afternoon. Somehow, I fed all three boys, though admittedly Cody ate hardly anything and Jamie did not finish his meal. I don't care. They will not be eating anything else tonight whether they complain of hunger or not. Micah squawked at me through much of the meal but it was much worse when I had to leave him in the high chair to attend to the others. Jamie kept leaving the room, and at one point he came in while I was feeding Micah and begged me to wipe his mouth. He had a weird look on his face and he said his mouth was owie. A terrible feeling came over me. I asked him if he ate something. He said yes. I smelled his face. It was minty and very familiar. Ah, yes. Gold Bond medicated cream, a favorite around here for our mosquito bites. Well, mine and Mike's anyway, not to mention all the poison ivy. I nearly cried, but it was almost more out of rage than out of concern. Don't get me wrong, I was a bit worried when I read the label on the tube of cream. But what is wrong with my child? This morning I watched as he caught a big fat fly between his thumb and his index finger and examined its still very much alive body. He then tried to put it in his mouth. IN HIS MOUTH!!!!! What the ^%$#&%^#????? That's not a swear. It's just the complete and total absence of a word for Jamie.

So, I called poison control. Again. Not for the fly, for the Gold Bond. For anyone who has never used it, it's pretty powerful stuff. I love it because it makes me sting instead of itching, and voila: relief. I get really bad mosquito bites. This was the third time I have called poison control for Jamie's benefit. He is two and a half. Is he not old enough to be smartening up a little bit? Once again, the woman on the line assured me the stuff was not going to kill him, though it might numb his mouth a bit. I wondered if the numbness would silence him to any extent. Wishful thinking.

While I was on the phone with poison control, Jamie took it upon himself to feed Micah the rest of his applesauce. What distant planet did I beam up to that I thought I was safe to leave Micah unattended in the high chair with the seat belt on?? I left the room so it would be quiet enough for me to find out whether my kid was going to require a trip to the emergency room. My bad. I heard the two of them laughing together, but when I returned, Micah's entire face including his eyes, and his hair were covered in applesauce. There was applesauce in Jamie's hair as well, and it was also all over the salt shaker. The finishing touch was the massive glob that had found its way into my fresh freezie cup full of clear, cold water. Well, it was clear anyway. I had to dump it, and all the rest of my freezie cups are not frozen, having just been washed. Anyone who knows me well knows I only like my water cold. Not the cold of ordinary people. I am talking about the coldest it can possibly be without actually being ice. Fridge water is okay, but for me it's just not quite good enough. It has to be almost painful. Ah. I can almost taste it now. Almost, but not quite, because my water is gone. Not drank, it is down the drain where I poured it along with the revolting applesauce sludge that polluted the entire thing. Did I mention I am not a big fan of applesauce? So, I stripped Micah only to find that his diaper had soaked right through his pants. Oops. I guess I had not changed him in a long time. What is wrong with me?? I forgot all about his diaper. And I did the same thing to Jamie too, who had also peed right through. Don't know whether I've ever seen a diaper that wet before. Nice going, Cheryl. So, I hauled my nearly naked baby to his change table, and lo and behold, he was poopy. Ah. That explains all the squawking and complaining. Am I really this dense? If I didn't know it before, tonight was just another reminder that I could never do the single mom thing. How do women do it??

And here I am, taking a break, writing in my blog as all you-know-what breaks loose all around me and all I can do is shout, "Get away from me! Go in your room if you're going to hyper! Go away! Please give me a break!"...etc. Wow. I was burnt out before the summer, and it has been less noticeable with Mike home, but let me tell you, when he decides to leave me alone with these guys for several hours at a time - especially when those hours encompass supper, bath and bed time - it is abundantly clear that I still need to have some kind of break. And preferably not a psychotic one. It's coming though. Oh boy.

I have to go. It is story time, and I'm barely holding on by a thread. Did I mention that someone peed a massive amount on the basement floor this evening, as well as all over a ride on toy? I won't say who. It wasn't me though. Haha. I'm off for now. Here's hoping they're all settled in bed within half an hour. It's about twenty-five minutes to seven. The countdown is on. Nobody better mess with me tonight.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Busted Air Conditioner

All right, I know some people live in hotter climates than the one I'm in, but I do not handle heat very well. Maybe it's because my hormones have been so messed up the last five years with all these pregnancies, but really I have always liked cool temperatures better than hot. Since we built this place four years ago, our central air has never worked properly. Not ever. There are days when it keeps up, and there are more days when it can't handle cooling our house, and this week has been full of those days. Last night was particularly torturous for me when we had to open all the windows in spite of the 96% humidity outside because it was cooler out there than in our house. We needn't have bothered. The wind died completely and no air was coming in. I had two fans blowing on me all night. Now, the air conditioning has quit again after doing better this morning. Grrr. Did I mention that I get extremely grouchy when I am hot? The thing is, I understand that there are people out there without air conditioning and it must be terrible for them, so I should be thankful, right? Here's the part that makes me especially upset. We paid for air conditioning. This is a brand new house. So, if one of my extremely non-negotiable factors in having a house is that I MUST have air conditioning, and we installed it, I find this completely unacceptable. Even worse is the fact that every year I have begged to have this dealt with, and every summer we scrape through to the end, sweating it out in here on more days than not. How long will we go without fixing this?? I know we have been busy with other things, but I honestly find this unbearable. Maybe I'm a wimp. I don't really care whether I am or not. Either way, I am tired of not being able to have this house at a decent temperature. I know it is not just me because Cody and Jamie have been complaining about their room being hot, and even Micah gets really sweaty in the house. I don't like cooking as it is. The heat makes it worse. I don't want to cuddle any of the boys. I will not let them sit on my lap for stories, or for anything else for that matter. I am so tired of this.

On the up side, we finally ordered blinds for the living room and that should help. They will block the sun from our biggest window, which faces east, and that will make a big difference in keeping some of the heat out of this place. The dumb thing is that we probably won't get them until mid-August, and by then the temperatures will very likely be a little more moderate than they are right now.

Anyway, sorry for the big vent. I'm just really grouchy about the heat in here and I'm desperate for an air conditioner that will keep this house cooler. Before we lived here I used to keep our place at around 18 degrees celsius because I was always working out in there and I got so hot otherwise. The air conditioner never failed. Never. Now, I can't even keep it at 22.5 in here, and even though I would never keep my house as cold as I used to now that I have kids around, I wish I didn't feel so gross in here. And now I think Mike is annoyed at me for being upset about it. I'm sorry. I can't help it. To me, there is nothing worse than being hot because you can't do anything about it. At least when you're cold you can put on warmer clothing.

I have to stop. I'm getting more and more upset about this. I have nothing else to say right now. Maybe I'll go work on my homework or something. Hopefully tomorrow will be better, but I'll be on my own with the boys so we'll see I guess.