Monday, August 2, 2010

Chaos erupts. Feels like home.

All right, so yesterday I had my venting session about my air conditioning, and I am doing better today. The air conditioner is not doing that much better, though it is WAY better than it was two days ago. We went to town yesterday and bought three fans; two medium sized oscillating ones and one giant heavy duty one. We're talking gale force winds. The monstrosity is sitting at the bottom of our stairs blowing the cooler air upstairs to help cool this place, and seriously, stepping into the stair well is like some kind of NASA training event. I doubt our kids could even fall down the stairs right now, so strong is the rising air current.

Anyway, all that extra air circulation is helping the air conditioner. We also blocked our living room windows completely with sheets and a giant cardboard box. I may have mentioned that in my last post...I can't remember. Either way, it is much cooler in here than it is outside, and today I am grateful for that.

Yes, the temperature of my house is not what may do me in today. It is all the refereeing that I must do every two seconds. I'm tired of having my eardrums split by a screaming two year old. I'm tired of being whined at by a four year old.

So, it is now 6:15 p.m. and I am happy, no, relieved to report that I have officially survived supper and bath time with these boys. Survived is about all we have done. I managed to make a full meal, which I started preparing before Mike even left this afternoon. Somehow, I fed all three boys, though admittedly Cody ate hardly anything and Jamie did not finish his meal. I don't care. They will not be eating anything else tonight whether they complain of hunger or not. Micah squawked at me through much of the meal but it was much worse when I had to leave him in the high chair to attend to the others. Jamie kept leaving the room, and at one point he came in while I was feeding Micah and begged me to wipe his mouth. He had a weird look on his face and he said his mouth was owie. A terrible feeling came over me. I asked him if he ate something. He said yes. I smelled his face. It was minty and very familiar. Ah, yes. Gold Bond medicated cream, a favorite around here for our mosquito bites. Well, mine and Mike's anyway, not to mention all the poison ivy. I nearly cried, but it was almost more out of rage than out of concern. Don't get me wrong, I was a bit worried when I read the label on the tube of cream. But what is wrong with my child? This morning I watched as he caught a big fat fly between his thumb and his index finger and examined its still very much alive body. He then tried to put it in his mouth. IN HIS MOUTH!!!!! What the ^%$#&%^#????? That's not a swear. It's just the complete and total absence of a word for Jamie.

So, I called poison control. Again. Not for the fly, for the Gold Bond. For anyone who has never used it, it's pretty powerful stuff. I love it because it makes me sting instead of itching, and voila: relief. I get really bad mosquito bites. This was the third time I have called poison control for Jamie's benefit. He is two and a half. Is he not old enough to be smartening up a little bit? Once again, the woman on the line assured me the stuff was not going to kill him, though it might numb his mouth a bit. I wondered if the numbness would silence him to any extent. Wishful thinking.

While I was on the phone with poison control, Jamie took it upon himself to feed Micah the rest of his applesauce. What distant planet did I beam up to that I thought I was safe to leave Micah unattended in the high chair with the seat belt on?? I left the room so it would be quiet enough for me to find out whether my kid was going to require a trip to the emergency room. My bad. I heard the two of them laughing together, but when I returned, Micah's entire face including his eyes, and his hair were covered in applesauce. There was applesauce in Jamie's hair as well, and it was also all over the salt shaker. The finishing touch was the massive glob that had found its way into my fresh freezie cup full of clear, cold water. Well, it was clear anyway. I had to dump it, and all the rest of my freezie cups are not frozen, having just been washed. Anyone who knows me well knows I only like my water cold. Not the cold of ordinary people. I am talking about the coldest it can possibly be without actually being ice. Fridge water is okay, but for me it's just not quite good enough. It has to be almost painful. Ah. I can almost taste it now. Almost, but not quite, because my water is gone. Not drank, it is down the drain where I poured it along with the revolting applesauce sludge that polluted the entire thing. Did I mention I am not a big fan of applesauce? So, I stripped Micah only to find that his diaper had soaked right through his pants. Oops. I guess I had not changed him in a long time. What is wrong with me?? I forgot all about his diaper. And I did the same thing to Jamie too, who had also peed right through. Don't know whether I've ever seen a diaper that wet before. Nice going, Cheryl. So, I hauled my nearly naked baby to his change table, and lo and behold, he was poopy. Ah. That explains all the squawking and complaining. Am I really this dense? If I didn't know it before, tonight was just another reminder that I could never do the single mom thing. How do women do it??

And here I am, taking a break, writing in my blog as all you-know-what breaks loose all around me and all I can do is shout, "Get away from me! Go in your room if you're going to hyper! Go away! Please give me a break!"...etc. Wow. I was burnt out before the summer, and it has been less noticeable with Mike home, but let me tell you, when he decides to leave me alone with these guys for several hours at a time - especially when those hours encompass supper, bath and bed time - it is abundantly clear that I still need to have some kind of break. And preferably not a psychotic one. It's coming though. Oh boy.

I have to go. It is story time, and I'm barely holding on by a thread. Did I mention that someone peed a massive amount on the basement floor this evening, as well as all over a ride on toy? I won't say who. It wasn't me though. Haha. I'm off for now. Here's hoping they're all settled in bed within half an hour. It's about twenty-five minutes to seven. The countdown is on. Nobody better mess with me tonight.


Anonymous said...

Hey Girl! Sounds like a very eventful start to your week. I feel the same way about apple sauce, the stuff is so messy and yet the kids LOVE it, but it does manage to get every where all the time no matter what I do. The best is when the dinning room table has a sticky film of it all of and I just cant seem to get it clean.

Your 10th is in sight, and I hope that you get a small vacation of some sort. I love ya girl!

Anonymous said...

Wow, Gold bond cream. Jamie takes the cake again! Hope your day today is filled with bliss and beauty and a big sweet nap for you. Good job on working out, I am proud of you. Give Sasha a kiss for me and tell your boys that popcicle loves them!