Sunday, September 12, 2010

Back to reality.

We are home once again, and have been for about five hours. Already we are settled back into the routine, as we were just about immediately upon arriving home. Jamie is terribly sad about us having left, and I hope we won't have to work too hard to get him past it. He seems okay this evening, but he was not in a good state when we arrived home, nor was he before we came, according to my parents. Now it is nearly eight o'clock and none of my boys are asleep. I am home alone with them. Funny how fast that side of things returned to normal.

Either way, we had a very nice weekend away. I can't even say how good it felt to just be able to relax. We could go out whenever we felt like it, or stay in if we didn't want to go anywhere. There was something so incredibly freeing and refreshing about being able to go to sleep at night not wondering whether any minute a baby would cry, or a child would be in our room with nightmares. It really was amazing to go back to just the two of us, even for just a short time. I missed my boys, but in truth, the weekend was just not long enough. I needed more time. However, I was so grateful for the time we did get. I realized just how different it felt to be out with Mike and see him as a husband and friend again and not just a daddy. I guess in some ways, our roles define us, so when we are removed from them, suddenly the real person is visible once again. I don't think I have ever appreciated an anniversary away as much as this one. Mike said this morning he felt rested for the first time since Jamie was born. Jamie is turning three at the end of December, if that gives you any idea. For me, I don't know, it is probably more like five years, since I got pregnant the first time. Except I did not get a good rest last night. I was so looking forward to sleeping in our incredibly luxurious king size bed last night, after being out so late at a movie (we did not get home til nearly 1 a.m.), but for some reason, I barely slept at all. Mike was out like a light, but I just lay there, suspended in that place between sleep and wakefulness. You know, that place where your body feels like a lead weight, and is indescribably comfortable, and yet you lay there aware that you are still aware. I was like that until 3 a.m. I had the jitters, as though I had just drank three cups of coffee. I don't ever drink coffee, so I don't know whether I would react like that, but it was very weird. I was exhausted, but just not sleeping. At 6 a.m. I got up to use the bathroom and I was still not sure whether I had fallen asleep yet. It was quite awful. I did sleep in until 9:45 a.m. though, so obviously at some point I did drift off. I was very disappointed about that, because I thought sleeping on that bed would be the most amazing sleep of my life. Well, maybe tonight will be, in the comfort of my own bed and my own home.

Anyway, it sounds as though these boys have all finally settled. Well, Micah is not crying anymore, so that makes it very silent in here. Phew. I am grateful for that. I am going to do something leisurely, like read or maybe play Super Mario Galaxy 2 on the Wii. I got it for my birthday from the boys. I am half way tempted to just go to bed, but it is only 8 p.m., so that seems a little early. I don't feel like doing homework tonight, though I probably should. Time for me to sign off. Goodnight.

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