Monday, January 17, 2011

Ach!

I'm not having a very good mom-day today. I was awakened at 6:10 a.m. or so by a crying Micah. I tried to wait him out for about five minutes, but I decided it would be best to just go change him and put him back to bed, so I did. He fussed until 8 a.m. when I finally gave up and got him out of bed. I hit mute on the monitor every minute of that hour and a half, desperately hoping for some sleep. It did not come. The boys fought and screamed the whole time, and played loudly. Somehow, I have not been able to dig deep enough to find a good mood this morning. In addition to that, the boys have hit each other and one of them seems to be as angry as a bear today, even to the point of violently attacking and biting one of his brothers. This is hard to handle. It is not really typical, and I hardly know what to do with it. Now I'm dragging my sorry butt around, trying to make some lunch for these guys and somehow I have to dredge up the energy to do an hour long cardio workout this afternoon. In about an hour. Good grief. How is that going to happen?? All I want today is a massive dose of chocolate, and a warm corner to curl up in SILENCE with a good book. But chocolate is off my current menu, silence is the furthest thing from this house, and it's not even warm in here. I'm going to have to glare my way through another workout, barking at the boys to stay out of my way the whole time. Have you ever tried to do a workout when you're really mad the whole time? I find it really hard to get into it. I need to be able to focus on releasing steam when I'm working out and I can't do that when my whole body is tense with anger or frustration. Or both. I just hope I can someday soon get to the place where it feels good to work out and it gives me energy for the rest of the day. Right now, I'm just slogging through.

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