Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Spring break, fairs and birthday cakes.

Spring break is in full swing now. In fact, it is passing very quickly. We have not done much because Micah and Jamie have both been sick. Jamie in particular has been very sick. He has been coughing quite badly, the kind that we can hear rattling down in his back and chest. We thought we may need to take him in by today, but this morning he seems to be somewhat improved, so I have high hopes that we are on the road to recovery. Cody has been fine so far, and Mike and I are also okay. Tomorrow is supposed to be our big day at the fair, but if Jamie is still really under the weather we may not go. The fair is a big deal and I have gone every year since I was a little girl except in 1999, when I was on a road trip to California with six other girls. I have been there when I was nine months pregnant and a day overdue with Cody. I have been there with a baby as young as three months old (Jamie) and I have been there the week after major surgery, when I was sixteen. I sat there with Mike when we were young and not dating and I was already head over heels in love with him. I was enthralled year after year with the horse jumping and the stallion parade and every other equine event.

Things are different now that I am a mother. It is difficult to enjoy it the same way as I did as a child and a young adult because I have to put the majority of my focus on my kids, but they enjoy it too and I wouldn't miss it unless something drastic happened. Hopefully we will all go together tomorrow.

On Friday, Cody turns five. I can hardly believe it. We hope to take him somewhere special, but we are not completely settled on what we are doing just yet. Mike is in town right now getting the rest of our birthday related errands done. (He was really in town for a round of virtual golf, so he got stuck with completing my errands.) When he gets home, I will be attempting to make a special birthday cake for Cody, which I have never done before. I have made plenty of birthday cakes, but this is different. It is the kind you have to rent a pan and then decorate it as per the instructions. It will be Lightning McQueen. I sincerely hope I will have a good report in here about how it turns out, but I have heard some horror stories about the trials of making these types of birthday cakes, and I have never done it before so I should not have high hopes. The good news is, Cody is unaware of my plan to attempt this, so if I blow it, I can always buy another cake mix in town and bake a boring cake the morning of his birthday. He just wants smarties on it, or so he told me. Mike and I hate the new kind of Smarties, so I can't handle the idea of tainting a perfectly good cake with them. I figured we'd buy a bag and Cody can decorate his own piece with them if he wants to. I suspect he will be happier with a Lightning McQueen cake, but I guess it depends whether it looks like Lightning McQueen or whether it looks like a red and black blob. Hm. This could be interesting. I am not especially talented when it comes to all things culinary, so disaster seems more likely than a smashing success, but time will tell and I will be sure to post my results in here, complete with pictures. I am nervous.

Anyway, I have some quiet time available before Micah wakes up, though possibly very little, so I shall attempt to do some work on chapter six of my book. It has been almost three weeks since I have really worked on it and I need to get back at it before I really lose my momentum. I am off for now.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Pirates have invaded. AAARGH!

Thursday has arrived, signifying not only the arrival of the end of this week but also the beginning of spring break. Being that Mike is a teacher, spring break is an especially big deal around here. It doesn't feel like spring, as we got a blizzard this week and yesterday and the day before were both snow days. Not only did Cody miss school on Tuesday, but Mike was home Tuesday and Wednesday due to extremely dangerous driving conditions. The week has been difficult, and I am still feeling very emotional about losing Oreo. It has been even harder than I anticipated. I had forgotten how intense the pain of losing a pet is. It has been just over fourteen years since I have lost a pet, and though I remember how upset I was, I forgot about that feeling of darkness and heaviness that descends in the wake of that loss. I hate that when I talk about Oreo from now on it will have to be as memories. He is gone and will never come back. I have not dealt with much death in my life. I lost my maternal grandmother when I was about 15, but she had a stroke a couple of years prior and had either Alzheimer's or some other ailment that affected her mind, so she did not know us anymore for years before she died. It was as though we had lost her already. The hardest part about her death for me was my mother's pain. I cried for her, and because death was scary. I imagined what it would be like for me if that was my mother and she no longer remembered my name. I have not lost any other close relatives, though thirteen years ago I did lose a good friend in a car accident and that was very wrenching. He is the only friend I have lost, so you can see I have been very sheltered. I have been thinking about that this week and feeling some dread, as I don't know how I will ever handle any human deaths if I am taking Oreo's this hard. Yes, he was "just a rabbit", though he was very special to me.

Anyway, that's enough about death. Today I had a triumphant mom moment and I am feeling like I earned some kind of motherhood badge of honour. Cody has school today, and it's his field trip, which was rescheduled from the previous date due to a snow day. Coincidentally, it is also pirates and princesses day at the school. I did not have a costume for Cody, so I figured I'd have to send him in his regular clothes. I was a bit sad about it but the highways have been closed for the past two days and prior to that I was dealing with Oreo, so there really was no time to go to town to seek some kind of props or costume. So I did a little googling last night and came up with some stuff for him. I had a red bandana from my days in the 80's when they were in. Or was that the 90's? Do I sound old when I am mixing up my decades? No matter. I found a bandana and put it on his head pirate-style. I made an eye patch out of a pizza kit box (cut out of the cardboard) and an elastic that has been sitting on my dresser for months, annoying me. Then I used his regular pants, a pair of my socks and a shirt that is way to small for him, plus a vest that is size 2/3 when he wears size 6 clothing. Haha. I also added facial hair for effect. Here's my pirate Cody.





Of course, then Jamie felt left out, so I had to pirate him up a little bit too. Right now he is not wearing the bandana, so he is randomly sporting a moustache and goatee. No big deal except that I have to take him in to the school later for a meeting. Sheesh. He might look a bit funny with facial hair penciled on for no apparent reason. Oh well. Last time I took him in to the post office with me, he was wearing his hockey helmet. Jamie is Jamie, and that's all there is to it. Here he is.





Micah will remain pirate-free, as he is quite sick with a bad cold and cough and I don't want to be wiping his face if he is sporting eye liner on his upper lip and chin.

I'm going to sign off for now. I may be a bit more scarce in the days to come, but I'll be back when possible. Bye for now.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Goodbye, Oreo.

My bunny died tonight. I had to have him put to sleep. He was old, just 20 days shy of turning ten, very old for a rabbit. He was very sick. He had gone blind in one eye a year ago and recently went blind in his other eye. On Friday he became paralyzed in his back end and could not sit up or stand. He could not eat or drink without assistance, and he was a mess because when he peed or pooped he was just laying there so it soaked into his fur. I spent this afternoon with him, bathing him and helping him drink. The boys helped me feed him apples. I took him to the closest vet I could get to tonight as we are being hit by a blizzard (yeah I know, way to go spring,) and I was afraid I would not be able to travel tomorrow. I wish I could have gone to a clinic in the city because there is a vet there that I really like. I spoke to her on the phone today about Oreo. She has a bunny too and was very compassionate. The vet I ended up seeing was very rude to me. She guilt tripped me about her long day and about Oreo's condition. She asked me if he had a name, as though I did not care about him at all. What kind of question is that? Of course he had a name. If he didn't, it is doubtful that I would bother taking him to the vet at all. I was so angry at her. She showed zero compassion even though I was out of control crying the whole time. She did not even say hi to me when I walked in the door, even though she knew full well why I was there. (I had called and arranged to come in and see her.)

Anyway, I am very sad and feeling very alone. I loved my rabbit. He was my very first fur baby. He was funny and bratty and very silly and adorable. He destroyed more cords than I can count in our house, and he was our personal paper shredder. He let the boys play with him and he loved cats too, even though our two never cared much for him. I will never have another rabbit. I always wanted one, and Oreo was it. I just had to post this. Here are some pictures of my dear bunny.

Oreo on his fourth birthday.


Oreo at four years old with Cricket at three years old.


Oreo was seven in the rest of these, and Cody was only two. They hung out a lot. Oreo let him do all this stuff to him and never protested. It was adorable.




Oreo was "having his diaper changed" here by Cody, complete with wipes, on the change pad.






I will miss you, Oreo.




Thursday, March 17, 2011

St. Patrick's Day cookies.

It is 10:30 a.m. and I have already rolled, cut and baked 55 heart-shaped sugar cookies. They are cooling in the kitchen right now. In a few minutes I will make green icing and we will ice as many as possible before I have to make lunch for the boys so I can get Cody off to school. Yes, it is St. Patrick's day, and though I confess I haven't a clue about the true story behind it, I am happy for an excuse to make some delicious green cookies. As it turns out, I don't have an appropriate cookie cutter anyway, hence the heart shapes. My mom has a three-leaf clover that she uses for St. Patrick's day, though I wonder whether it was originally part of a set that represented the suits in a deck of cards. Anyway, I have heard and read the St. Patrick's day story before, but for some reason I never remember it. Then again, these days I rarely remember anything at all.

Cody and Jamie are in the basement playing for the moment, and Micah is busy disassembling all our electronics attached to the TV. Hm. Just a second... Ah. That's better.

So all in all, we are in for another dreary day complete with rain and then cold temperatures. We have no high today. It started decent and is going to get colder and colder from here. Jamie and Micah are both incredibly grouchy, but Cody is doing better today. Yesterday was another rough one for me, but I have high hopes that today will be at least tolerable. My house may be a mess, but my cookies are ready to go, and that is a big job, so I'm happy to have at least that accomplishment under my belt for today. And now I must call the boys up to help me make the icing. Things are about to get messy! I might add pictures later if I get a chance.

Okay, it is 1:30 p.m. now. Cody is at school, Micah is pretending to nap. Okay, more like I'm pretending he's napping. And Jamie is watching basketball on TV. Yes, basketball. He opted for that in place of The Cat In The Hat, which is his favourite show. Hm. When I said, "Which would you rather watch, basketball or Cat in the Hat?" his immediate response was "Hockey". He is so unbelievably obsessed with hockey. It's quite funny and cute.

Anyway, here are some pics of our cookie making this morning. Well, mostly just the beginning, seeing after that my hands were too covered in flour to handle the camera.

 Oops. I cut off the top of Cody's head in this one. Jamie was in bed at this point but Cody and Micah were helping me get ready for the rolling, cutting and baking! (Notice the dishes all over the place in the background. I did not have time to clean the kitchen before we started our project.)


 Micah, acting cute and silly as usual.


 When I ask Cody to smile for a picture, this is the kind of goofy look I end up with. Nice.


 I gave Micah a small pile of flour to play with, as I thought he'd find it fun. Instead, he put his face right in it and ate some. Later I gave him an extra rolling pin to play with. He rolled it onto my dough repeatedly, despite my best efforts to protect it. 


 Even with a flour moustache and goatee, he is still "The Beave". 


Jamie joined us after a while, in a much better mood than he was in first thing in the morning. All in all, the morning was fairly positive. Now the cookies are all iced except for ten which I am saving for Cody to do when he gets home. That's all for today, folks!

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Lululemon Rant

Okay, just for fun, let me get this off my chest. What the heck is Lululemon, anyway? To me, it sounds like a cartoon television show made for girls ages 8-12. Imagine my surprise when I found out it is a clothing store for women. Okay, I can live with that. The name is a bit fluffy and ridiculous for my tastes, but I'm sure there are other stores with odd names. What really gets me about this line of clothing is that it seems to be in high demand. People are willing to pay exorbitant prices just for this brand. Hm. So I looked at their website, and lo and behold, they sell yoga clothes. Well, workout clothes, in general, I guess. Again, there is nothing wrong with that. People who work out do need clothes to work out in, after all.

Here's the part that I find a little hard to swallow. The prices on their yoga tanks, or workout tanks, average at $52 each. The lowest one was $39 and the highest one was $68. Wow! This is an article of clothing that is going to be used purely as a sweat soaker. Hm. Okay, let's look at their yoga pants. Even better, the majority of them are $98 with the lowest being $74 and the highest rounding off at an even $108. Am I the only one floored by this? Don't worry though, if you can't afford yoga pants that are almost $100, you can go for the cropped version that end mid calf or just below the knees. Surely these are cheaper, with them having less fabric and all. Let's see. The majority are running at $86, with the lowest being $68 and the highest at $92. If you want to dramatically cut back on the fabric, go for a skirt or a pair of shorts. Those are running at $48 to $54 for shorts and $54 to $58 for skirts. It is hard to exaggerate just how little fabric the skirts are comprised of. They are difficult to distinguish from the shorts, and I have to wonder who would want to work out in one of those. Then again, the models all look like they are about twelve, so tiny are their little legs and torsos. You can even by a pair of running socks for a mere $14.00.

Okay, so we have established that the store is full of clothing made to sweat in, and it is all very expensive. Let's take it a step further. On our local classifieds there are currently 27 Lululemon items for sale. (I must emphasize that this is a very small community.) Of those items, the highest cost is $85 for a pair of pants. Four of the items are sports bras. Let's take a moment to consider this. Is there anyone out there desperate enough for this name brand that they are willing to buy a used sports bra for $25? This is an article that won't even be seen from the outside. I can't understand why anyone would buy used workout clothing. The whole thing is just ridiculous. It's just a brand name, for crying out loud. I don't see what is so fabulous about this store! Who would want to buy someone else's used pants for $85? Especially workout pants?

I guess that's all I will say about the lovely and obsessive world of Lululemon. I suppose I sound like an old fogie. I am a mother now. I have to think practically. I have never been much of a trendy girl, and when I work out, I do it alone. Well, sometimes my boys watch me, but they are all under five years old, so they don't count as real spectators. Would I like to have some comfortable and practical workout clothes that looked decent? Yes. Absolutely. Would I pay close to $150 for such an outfit? Never. Unless I was a workout instructor and making a dvd to sell on an infomercial, no.

There it is. I have no style. For now, I am okay with that. I will use my money for something else, thank you. But, to each his own. Or her own. I guess if people are willing to pay that kind of money, that is their business. For now, I will continue to roll my eyes whenever I see another used workout bra in the classifieds for an exorbitant price.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Monday, Monday.

Today Mike is off at a ski trip with his school, so it will be a long day for me. I don't expect him home until right around the boys' bedtime. The morning went all right, though we had a substantial battle over clean-up, which is not unusual around here. The living room finally got cleaned up enough for me to vacuum. (Yes, it was that bad, and often is.) So I am feeling much better about things now, finally sitting down for a rest in this bright, sunshiny, freshly-vacuumed room. Micah is napping, as usual, and the other two are outside. It is a nice day today, currently 0 degrees, so there is no excuse for them being inside all day. I am hoping they'll stay out a long time, but it is unlikely. We'll see though.

Meanwhile, I thought I might take this opportunity to...never mind. They are in. Well, I had approximately two minutes to myself once I was done vacuuming and making their beds. Fabulous. Maybe I'll try again another time.

I'll leave off with this picture of what we saw out our kitchen window the other day. This is becoming an every day phenomenon, though this particular time was fairly extreme. Here it is.



Notice the two that are fighting in this next one. There were several squabbles that day.




Friday, March 11, 2011

Blizzard!

We are more than a week into March and the only kind of blizzard I want to experience is the kind from Dairy Queen. However, there is a major system assaulting our province right now. Mike stayed home today, as did Cody, who was devastated to miss his very first field trip. The entire school division was shut down.

Now we are hunkered down for a cozy evening in. The boys are all in bed, two sleeping and Micah just down. I'm thankful not to be going anywhere today, and I'm thankful my week ended on a positive note. I'm off to spend an evening with Mike. Bye for now.

Hm. On second thought, the evening might not be a great one after all. We have just had two power failures in the last half hour and Micah is terrified. We just put him back to bed, but he's crying pretty hard. Hopefully he'll be okay. We also have diaper laundry running, so if we have power outages all evening we're kind of in a bad situation there too! Hopefully there won't be much of an update to give on this situation. It would be nice if the rest of the evening was relaxing. Gotta love that Manitoba weather. Sheesh.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Speechless.

I was going to begin this post by saying how much better this week has been than last week. I suppose that still holds true, seeing last week was off the charts bad. However, I just went downstairs to check on the boys. Here's the thing. I had just called down, worried about how quiet it was down there. Cody answered, after a few minutes. I asked him where Jamie was. He said in the toy room. I said, "With you?" and he answered yes. The toy room is right at the bottom of the stairs, so I can hear them from up here. However, being a complete idiot, I thought maybe they were just playing quietly down there.

Meanwhile, I was busy in the living room cleaning up the pieces of ten, (yes I counted them, I am not exaggerating) puzzles, that had been dumped on the floor earlier. At that time, I told Cody I was fine with him doing puzzles as long as he promised to put them all away when he was done. He assured me that he would. He lied. He threw a huge fit when I told him to clean them up, and in the end refused to do it. I told him if he did not, he would suffer the consequences. Well, I had to clean it up myself. Seeing I'm on a rabbit trail here anyway, I might as well say outright that I know I could have stood there over him, roaring like a dragon until he picked up every single piece. Frankly, I did not have the energy. There will be consequences. But why am I justifying myself in here? Maybe I just suck at this mothering business.

The point is, I was busy dealing with another one of their messes when I went downstairs to check on them. Actually, I was mostly going down there to get some food out of the freezer for lunch and supper. I found them in the back room, the future computer room. I have to also clarify that I specifically told Cody earlier that under no circumstances were they allowed to go down the hall in the basement. We are in the process of drywalling right now, and they know they are not allowed in that area because Mike's tools are down there...etc. Well, not only were they there, but Cody was holding Mike's cordless drill and was in the middle of screwing a small piece of drywall onto the wall. I was absolutely speechless. Upon further inspection, I found that there were two separate pieces of drywall screwed onto the wall, plus at least ten screws screwed all over the wall. In addition to that, Jamie was naked from the waste down. His pyjama bottoms were on the floor, covered in pine shavings that we use for bedding for our rabbit. The shavings were all over the floor.

There are no words to describe how livid I was and am. I am completely at the end of my rope. The basement is full of their toys so they have somewhere to play. Now it is clear I cannot trust either of them down there, which means the basement is now off limits. I honestly don't even know what to do. Cody can get downstairs without help (he can work the gate) but Jamie can't. Now I am wondering whether we need to actually screw the gate into the wall so it cannot be opened. Mike and I can step over top of it, though it is very awkward and not ideal.

So I know it's old hat, but I guess I am fried once again. There seems to be no winning with these boys. Micah is now in bed and I just booted the other two outside. It is a beautiful day and I hope to keep them out there at least an hour, though longer would be nicer. I guess I'm off for now.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Oh boy.

Friday has come and not a moment too soon. This has been one of those weeks where I have to make an effort to remember how much I love my kids. And I do. But wow, they seem to want to test my love to the very limit. My sanity, too, is tested rigorously, and I'm not entirely sure I am passing any of these tests. Even Micah has pushed me past what I can sanely manage. It took me between one and two hours (I lost track) to load the dishwasher today, a job that could have been done in twenty minutes had Micah not been there every step of the way, climbing in the dishwasher, taking stuff out of the dishwasher, opening the oven repeatedly, opening other cupboards and dumping their contents, climbing on the kitchen chairs and trying to tip them over while standing on them, and his latest trick, opening the fridge. That new ability alone is enough to reduce me to tears.

Today the boys, (well, Jamie and Micah), ate a bunch of bran muffin mix out of the cupboard, and also dumped a bunch of it in the bottom of the freshly cleaned pantry. I was already beyond frustrated when that happened. The morning had been extremely bad and I was fried in every way already. This was just one more thing to add to the pile. I took the stuff out of Jamie's hand and turned around to find Micah on the kitchen table so I ran to grab him and when I turned around once more Jamie was eating butter off the counter. Holy crap. I cried. I was on the phone with my mom at the time. Things would have been worse than that except that I literally locked Cody out of the house for a while due to his indescribably bad attitude.

The good news is, I later found Magnum, my sister's black lab who is staying with us over the weekend, with his face half covered in muffin mix. It seems he cleaned out the pantry for us. He looked exceedingly dumb with is face powdery brown on one side only. It accentuated his "eyebrows", which were lifted upward in an expression of complete innocence. It really was quite funny. I kind of appreciated his cleanup job, though it was not so thorough that I won't have to get the vacuum in there later. I had to throw away the remainder of the mix, which is a waste of twelve muffins right there. I also threw out ice cream today after I caught Cody eating it out of the pail when I came in from feeding the horses this morning. The boys also smashed something in the basement earlier. I'm too exhausted to be upset about it. I felt like smashing a thing or two myself.

So I am now in my room with my earphones on, for better or for worse. Micah is in bed. Cody spontaneously apologized for treating me so badly this morning and his attitude has improved substantially since then. He is downstairs with Jamie. I'm sure they will get into all kinds of trouble down there, but Cody is pretty good about keeping Jamie in line, so they won't do anything too dangerous. (Rolling my eyes here.) I don't know what part of me God thought could handle having three boys. He obviously knows me better than I do, because I don't see what He sees.

Micah is talking in such a way that I am suspicious. I likely need to check his diaper. I also have to run and check the other two, seeing I am fairly certain they have ventured into forbidden areas of the basement. Goody. I am off for now. Hopefully the weekend will bring with it some semblance of peace and sanity.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

The straw that broke the camel's back?

It would be impossible to describe all the things that have happened since I last posted in here. Oh, right, that was yesterday. Still, my comment stands. Some of the things that have gone on are so bad, I dare not record them in here. This morning will go down as one of the worst ones I have had as a stay-at-home mom. It is safe to say, I definitely lost it this morning, many times over. The behaviour here has been so bad, so stinky, so gross that I am ready to give up. Is this backlash because I went away for the weekend? Maybe. Ironically, it makes me desperate to do it again.

When I was pregnant with Cody, my sister and one of my friends painted my baby room for me, because we had just built our house and we moved in when I was eight months pregnant and I simply could not do it. They painted the lower half of the walls a very pretty pale green and the upper half a pale blue, with wispy white clouds scattered about. Where the two colours met, they put up an adorable border with cartoon animals on it. I thought it was the most beautiful baby room I had ever seen. I loved it. Here is a picture of it.


I have a better one somewhere, but not on this computer. You can see the baseboards are not on yet in this shot, and it does not show the clouds very well, but it gives you an idea how pretty the room was. 

Well, since then the room has been through a lot. It has been through two different boys in their "poop smearing" phase, their border-ripping phase and their writing on the walls phase. The walls have been smeared with yogurt, melted chocolate chips, blood from when they strummed their return air vent like a guitar and cut their fingers open deliberately and repeatedly and then wiped the blood all over the walls. They have written on the walls in ball point pen, markers, crayons and whiteboard markers. There is a small section of border left on one wall only. They have also chipped and scratched paint off many sections of wall. The carpet now has hand lotion smeared on it, chocolate ground in, and I don't even know what else. The room I once loved I now hate. Usually you can't see the floor at all for all the clothes, bedding, toys, food and garbage that gets spread there every single day. 

And just for the piece de resistance, I just went in their room to check on them, seeing it was so utterly quiet out there. I found them in the closet eating a carton of ice cream with two spoons, and also two granola bar wrappers on the floor. The floor that I cleaned today, prior to the lotion being smeared all over it. I can also clarify that I made them a big, hot lunch today, so they cannot claim to be starving. I won't even tell you the thoughts that are going through my mind right now. All I can tell you is that I can't stop crying. I give up. I just completely give up. I obviously cannot do this. I might as well just leave the ice cream and the brown sugar and the chocolate chips and the coconut and every other bit of food on the counter where they can have an all you can eat, all you can smear buffet every day, all day. This all happened after I rescued Jamie from a serious choking incident when he drank a massive load of salt out of the shaker. A sound came out of his mouth that sounded like some hideous creature that was released from the bowels of the earth. Short of tying them up somewhere, I just have no hope. There is no sanity for me. I don't know what to do.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

I'm back.

So I did get a weekend away. It was not the weekend I described a while back. I did not pack up and check into a hotel by myself for a good 48 hours of solitude and peace. I went to a women's retreat with two dear friends of mine from years ago. We certainly did have fun and it was a time of renewing, but it was not what I would call quiet. I was in a room with four bunk beds and there were eight women assigned to my room, which meant I knew only two out of seven. One did not show up the first night, and the second night two of them moved to a different room because ours was just so crowded. I did meet lots of great women, and I also ran into another dear friend from university whom I have not seen in around ten years. That was a treat for sure! I am going to do some specific writing about the retreat, but I will likely share it in my other blog because it is a lot more personal than what I normally write in here.

I will say that when I returned home shortly after 5 p.m. on Sunday, I was very glad to see all of my boys, including Mike! I also have discovered as of today that I think I need to leave every weekend. Haha. This morning was so bad, I don't even think it would be a good idea to describe it in here. I find myself wondering how I will survive the day to day trials of this period of my life. When Mike got home from work yesterday the boys were being very bad and he said, "I just need a break," and he proceeded to hide in our bedroom. I was quite horrified. He said the weekend was hard, which I don't doubt. But all I could think was that he only had two solid days with the boys and was losing it, but I have to do that every day of the week. On the other hand, normally I have backup when he gets home from work, but yesterday when he said that I freaked out, thinking I had now lost my backup. I know Mike plans to go away for at least one weekend this summer for a golfing thing, so I will have the joy of being on my own for two solid days and nights with the boys. I just hope this snow goes away soon. That really would make a huge difference.

Today is the first of March, a date that is even more thrilling and hope-filled than the first of February. Instead of glorious spring weather, today we have a psychotic wind, and the temperature is -35 with the wind chill as a result. That is seriously ridiculous. We have an insane amount of snow too. It feels like winter is here to stay.

And even now I am forced to administer yet another time out for Jamie, who is ALWAYS in trouble. I am beyond frustrated with this kid and do not even know what to do with him. I don't want to list all the things he has done today, lest any of my readers then label him in their minds as a bad kid. I love Jamie. He is cute and hilarious, and extremely loveable. But for some reason, today he is deliberately doing terrible things. REALLY terrible. I spoke to my mom on the phone this morning and she said it might have to do with me being away all weekend. Maybe that's it. Micah is also out of sorts today, though I was afraid this morning that he may have had an ear infection. Now I don't think so, but he is definitely more moody than normal. Maybe his bottom eye teeth are coming in, now that the top two have popped through.

So I guess the bottom line is, I had a great weekend away, and now I am back to the reality of dealing with very young children all day. It's not all bad, and I am glad to be here with my boys. I just have to find a way to make it through each day in a positive way so I don't spontaneously run away every weekend. I think we're going to bake cookies together when Cody comes home. Hopefully there won't be a toy in the oven this time when I preheat it. I don't want another fire. I'm off for now.