Friday, June 17, 2011

Losing it here!

We are only halfway through the morning, and I am livid. My oldest has the most rotten attitude imaginable today and I have absolutely had it. I am asking myself how I will ever make it through the rest of this day, and meanwhile I have the disheartening knowledge that tomorrow I will be completely alone for the entire day from start to the very finish. Sorry, completely alone with the kids. I'm not sure what to do here. I am ready to really lose it. I am trying very hard not to speak or respond in any way at the moment, as things may soon get very ugly. Or uglier, I guess, is a more accurate way of saying it. My ears hurt from being yelled at, my heart hurts from being disrespected and treated like crap. I know he is just a kid, but it still feels like verbal abuse to me. He is overtired and it has been a long week, but there is no excuse for this. He has already had a time out that ended up lasting over twenty minutes because he kept mouthing off the whole time and I had to keep adding minutes and restarting the timer. Honestly, he sounds like a teenager. I just want to crawl into a hole today and stay there in silence. If I had earphones, they would be on now, but of course, the boys broke them so even that small bit of comfort is gone. Cody is currently in the kitchen stealing food he knows he is not allowed. Oh, never mind. Apparently he is not. But he is prowling around looking for trouble. I know this is pathetic, but the worst part of this is that now I can't let him watch TV this afternoon which means I get no break. It is supposed to rain all afternoon (big shock there) so I have been trying to boot the boys out all morning and I just can't get them out. It's pathetic. All Cody does all day is say he is starving. I feed him all the time and when he doesn't get his way he says his stomach is growling and he's hungry. I think it's a manipulation thing. He just had a snack. Prior to that he just had breakfast.

Okay, phew. Sorry about my little rant. Cody and Jamie just went outside. Now I can calm down and relax, and hopefully they can burn off some steam out there. We are expecting a storm this afternoon, so this is their only chance to play outside. Sounds like they are going to hunt tadpoles. Poor little Micah wants to go too, but I won't let him. Even if I'm out there with him, he goes straight for the water, and his little boots are so small it only takes a moment before he ends up in deeper than his boots and gets soaked. Not that being soaked is the end of the world, because it isn't. But I am not that comfortable with him playing in water that deep, so he will stay in with me.

Hopefully the rest of the day will be an improvement over the morning. I think we are all at the end of our ropes here. I kind of expected this to happen early last week, after we returned from our exile, but was delayed and is now hitting with a vengeance. I am really counting down the days until Mike is home for the summer. After today he has only 8 days of school left, but counting weekends it will be twelve days until he is done for the year, not including today. Twelve days. Here's hoping I can hang on to my sanity until then. Guess it's time to go. I have to eat lunch while the boys are outside as it may be my only chance.


Pianamama said...

Hi, just wanted to wish you well on your day alone today. I have been there many times and know exactly what you described in this post! Hang in there and try to have some fun with your cute kiddos today. From what I hear, we will miss these times when they're gone, but sometimes I wonder... :)

CAT said...

Thanks for your encouragement! We are surviving the day so far, though I have had to administer a lot of time outs already! I decided to really crack down today so things don't get out of control. I'm dead tired, but hoping the day will not be a disaster.

I have heard the same thing, about how we will miss these times, and I think that's true. But when we do, we will miss the adorable moments and the sweet cuddles...etc. Not the chaos and the rebellious moments. Haha. Selective memory, right?