Monday, March 26, 2012


Monday is drawing to a close and I have accomplished nothing. I am beginning to suspect that I might actually have SAD disease, as I think it's called. That stands for Seasonal Affective Disorder. I don't know much about it, but it has to do with how the winter weather and lack of sunshine affect a person. Honestly, I am finding myself awfully depressed these days and today all I managed to do was a few dishes. Add to that a bad headache and a queasy stomach (that I'm pretty sure is NOT a but), and I am starting to suspect the weather is actually taking a toll on my body. Crazy. I have never in my life craved sunshine like I am craving it this spring. In fact, in the past I have always enjoyed a cloudy day. Perhaps the same will apply to me in the heat of July, especially this year when I will be hugely pregnant. But for now, I need some sunshine, and there is none on the horizon.

Mike is still working hard on his Masters presentation. He has volunteered to go tomorrow instead of Wednesday, so his work should officially be done after that, except he still has to spend all of Wednesday and all of Thursday at the University listening to everyone else's presentations and then engaging in a discussion about all of them on Thursday. Ugh. I really can't wait for this to all be done. He is talking about going golfing on Thursday to "party" after he is finished. I know it's selfish of me, because he truly deserves to celebrate, but if I get left here for an extra few hours I think I might burst. I want my break too, and none seems to be forthcoming. I might go away this weekend, but if I do, that means our only break together will consist of me leaving. Doesn't seem very nice. I have been invited on a girls' getaway, though I am not entirely sure it is happening. I would love to go. I would SO love to go. I guess I will see what happens.

Cody's birthday is on Sunday too and I am faced with a million dilemmas in that regard. Now that he has school friends, it seems right to have a birthday party for him where he can invite them. Traditionally, he just invites his cousins, and in recent years, the tradition is that nobody comes. It's spring break, after all, and everyone has other things they are busy with. This year I am stressed because I want him to have a good birthday party, but I can't really invite people to come here because our driveway is not easy to navigate right now. Whatever we do, I will have to plan it this week and see whether anyone is able to come next week from his school. It's silly, but I find this stressful. In the city it's so simple. You do the invitations and put your address on there and your phone number. People drop off their kids at the appropriate time and pick them up later. Here, in the boonies, it's a little more complicated. Maps must be included, and in this case, I'd have to provide some sort of off road vehicle for people to use when they got to the driveway. Yeesh. This is an area I feel I fail as a mom. Birthday parties. Interestingly, I feel like I have always failed when it came to birthdays, parties or not. I'm not good at buying presents. I'm not good at getting cards to the birthday person on time. I'm just not good at it. I don't want my child growing up not feeling special on his birthday. This is just not my forte.

Anyway, I'm in my room again, on my own, while Mike works in the other room on his stuff. At least he's here. Cody can't sleep and just hung out with me for a while but I have sent him off to bed. And my baby is inventing the next Cirque du Soleil show for Vegas. I think it's going to be a good one. I'm going to sign off for now.

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