Saturday, June 29, 2013


Ah, the joys of staying in a hotel room with four children. It is nearly 10 p.m. and nobody in this room is sleeping. As a matter of fact, the boys are all spitting and being generally obnoxious, and Lauren is having a meltdown in her playpen. Meltdowns are almost unheard of for Lauren, so she is most definitely at the end of her rope.

When you have kids, staying at a hotel invariably means you don't sleep. Not well, anyway, and sometimes not at all. But when you have four kids, you are blacklisted by the reservations people. You tell them you would like to book a room. They are friendly and courteous. They are excited to have you stay with them. Then they ask the dreaded question: "How many adults and how many children in the room?" If you don't mind lying, this is the time. But we don't believe in lying. So we say, rather sheepishly, "Uh...two adults, and, uh...ahem...four kids." You can almost feel the cold front coming on. You have HOW MANY kids?? You can't have a normal room. Nope. Normal rooms are for normal people. People with two children, or even less. Four kids? You must be freaks! Here, we might have a suite that you could use. We will charge you double the price, but there is no way you will ever fit six people in a normal room.

Fine. We will pay through the teeth for a suite, knowing it will comfortably sleep all six of us. Only it doesn't. We walked in the room, and I was rather shocked to see that the room contained a separate area with a king bed for us (Hooray! Our own little room with a king bed.) But the other area, for the ridiculous amount of kids that we have, bed. WHAT??? There is a desk with a fabulous leather chair, a TV, a tiny fridge and a sink, and a couch. Now hold on just a minute here. I can see that the couch, which is about as comfortable as a square straw bale, is actually a hide-a-bed, so I guess you can count that as a queen or double size. But we told them we had four kids. Correct me if I'm wrong, but in a normal room, wouldn't there be two queen beds? So how does one king bed and one hide-a-bed come out so expensive? This is a different hotel than the one that was going to double the cost, but still. Admittedly, our little "bedroom", which is separated from the kids by a set of sliding doors, is quite spacious. There is a separate TV in here, which we cannot use. That's right, we can't because Lauren is in here in a play pen. She is crying, by the way. And she is not the only one. So all the lights are out, in order to allow the kids to sleep, but nobody is sleeping. Mike and I can't do anything at all but sit here, as our anger increases, and I can't help but think about how much this is costing us. In fact, I am more than a little tempted to check out tomorrow. That's right, I'm done already, and we just got here.

I used to love hotels. They were a huge novelty for me. Now, I think I hate them. It would be different if Mike and I were here by ourselves. Or if I was here completely by myself. It is 10:21 p.m., and none of my kids are asleep. That means tomorrow will be horrific. Moods as volatile as a rabid dog, and attitudes more rotten than a three day old carcass on the side of the highway. My mood won't be any better. I already feel like the evening has been ruined. No. Destroyed? Massacred. Why on earth do we do this? For our kids? I am sorry to say, I regret it. I knew I would, and I dreaded it from the start, but I do regret it.

However, this trip was not about the kids, or ourselves. It was about seeing my Grandma, who turns 99 next week. She is amazing, and the best grandma ever. We are here for her, and also to see my Aunt, who lives two provinces away and is out visiting my grandma, her mother. Today, we saw them, and I don't regret that. Not for a minute. We also saw another dear friend of mine whom I haven't seen in 10 months, and that was also nice. So I guess the hotel fiasco is worth it. But I wish there was another way. And we are supposed to be staying another night. I will be very surprised if we decide to do that. But I guess we will see. Time to sign off for now. Two of the kids are sleeping. The oldest and the youngest are not. I would like very much to go home! Did I mention that Lauren freaks out every time one of us leaves this little room? And I need to pee. This is going to be a long night.

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