Friday, October 18, 2013

What does it take to be a good housewife? I'm not necessarily talking about the role of a wife. I'm talking about the job of a housewife. As a job, it entails certain duties, which vary from person to person. For example, some housewives have kids, some do not. A "house mom" has a whole new set of duties to perform, so in essence, she is working two jobs at once. Aside from taking care of the kids, the housewife's most important function is to keep the house clean, isn't it? That is my perception, anyway.

That being said, if I were being paid to do this job, I would be fired. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely rock the rest of my housewife duties, but the cleaning...well, I just don't seem to be any good at it. Come to think of it, the cooking is also a serious lack in my housewife resume. That leaves...well...I'm especially good at laundry. Really, I am. In the last 48 hours, I have done seven loads of laundry. Maybe more, but I can only remember seven for sure. And I made supper last night. Yay me.

Here's where I have a big problem. My dishwasher died. As of yesterday morning, my dishwasher became useless, other than to pose as a very spacious and convenient dish rack. That means every dish that we use will have to be washed by hand. This is a problem for me. I don't really hand wash dishes...ever. Okay, that's not true. I do, but only the ones that absolutely are not dishwasher safe. Now, I have to hand wash everything. That means I will be spending way more time doing dishes than I normally do, and normally I have a hard time keeping up with the dishes. It also means my hands are going to crack and bleed. No, I don't have any rubber gloves in the house, believe it or not.

Maybe I never mentioned it in here, but I spent six weeks in a laundry slump because our washing machine was broken. That was finally fixed about a week ago and now my dishwasher is gone. This is a housewife disaster. What if the dishes stack up in the kitchen until we have nothing left to eat off of? What if I get fired? Too dramatic? Maybe. I probably won't get fired, and I won't let the dishes stack up that high, but I am not looking forward to facing this particular challenge. Yesterday I kept up, until supper time, but Lauren spent much of my dishwashing time crying by my legs. And she is now crying again. She just woke up. Guess it's time to get things started. I would say thank goodness it's Friday, but Fridays are the same as any other day around here. The weekend will not magically produce a functioning dishwasher in my kitchen. In fact, it will produce more dishes, because all six of us will be here all day. I think they should invent a new reality TV show. I can be called Housewife Survivor.  I would be the first to be voted off the island. Or the island counter. Happy Friday, everyone.

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